game of thrones 3x01 - valar dohaeris
I'M DOING THIS! YAY! REGULAR EPISODE REVIEWS! Btw: anyone who's happy with Robb's current storyline... don't bother with this. Or the related part. Really. Don't.
the good
1. The pacing. They finally learned that they can't put too much shit in one episode, so all good for now. It felt a lot less put together at random than last year's premiere.
2. DAVOS. DAVOSDAVOSDAVOS DID I SAY DAVOS aka one of the few people who managed to save themselves from character assassination because HE'S JUST - okay no seriously right now I'm like please everyone else go away and put this dude in charge. Also ugh he's so loyal to Stanniiiisss kill me ;____;
3. Dany. Well, moderately good - in the sense that I think my interest in that storyline isn't getting back on excitement levels anytime soon, but at least it wasn't boring and it wasn't like last year. I still am trying to discern what was Dany's SL last year.
Also, Iain Glen, you = hot. Please stay. Thanks.
4. Tywin. Charles Dance you're magnificent. And your character is absolutely morally horrible and I despise him, but I love your acting and you totally nailed it.
5. Tyrion. Or well, I don't have anything to wax poetical about because Dinklage is always excellent and that scene with Tywin was done soreallywell. :D
6. Bronn, though I'd have liked it better if they had shown some naked guy meat for once.
7. Margaery/Joffrey/Loras. Like, I'm nowhere near extra invested in any of those three, but NO CHARACTER ASSASSINATION GOING ON I'M OKAY WITH IT. Though this thing where both Joffrey and Robb are being like OMG MOM STOP EMBARRASSING ME is... not... okay, but more about that in the part about what I didn't like.
8. WILDLINGS. WILDLINGSSSS. I'm not entirely sold on the actor playing Mance - like, he's *good* and I see that he has the character down pat, but his face is just so far from what I imagined when reading the book that I can't buy him 100% yet. Other than that, TORMUND IS GLORIOUS, Ygritte is amazing and I had forgotten how much I loved Ygritte, and hahaha Jon bless you and your grumpy face. Also I kind of started cackling when he kneeled and was all like YOUR GRACE and everyone else was laughing in his face, though I'd like to know where are Val & co too.
9. THE FIRST SCENE.
PEOPLE, GHOST SAVED SAM'S LIFE INSTEAD OF BEING WHERE JON WAS. MY OTP LIVES.
Yes, I had to state that out loud. The Jon/Sam shipper life is hard enough already, I'm not gonna forget when they throw me bones like this one.
the bad
10. Er uhm was Stannis like *that* in the book? Because I don't remember it? Like, I remember him being fairly unreasonable at points, but I don't remember that it was him putting Davos in the dungeons? Stannis, that's not cool, go back to your boyfriend yes?
11. Someone get fucking Roose Bolton out of my sight, damn it. Like, right the fuck now. ... I can't ask for that, can I? *cries* like seriously just looking at him makes me want to vomit, I'm in for the Best Experience Ever this season.
12. ... right. I've danced around it but I obviously have to get there, so. Also: major ASOS BOOK spoilers, so you know if you don't want to read.
Robb.
What.
The.
Fuck.
Like, either last season the moment Talisa showed up there was a Westeros invasion of the body snatchers and that's not *Robb* or D&D haven't understood anything about how this dude works (... which... okay, could be, but in S1 he was *perfect* and they got him and Theon down pat - and him and Cat too UNTIL LAST SEASON, so I MEAN THEY GOT IT RIGHT UNTIL ONE POINT) or.. I don't even know, but if this isn't character assassination I have no fucking clue of how to call it. Or better, until Talisa-the-magic-lifesaver showed up out of nowhere cleaning wounds he was actually fine, but since then... uhm. people. In the book Robb was about THE ONLY FUCKING PERSON IN THE ENTIRETY OF RIVERRUN WITH THE POSSIBLE EXCEPTION OF CAT'S UNCLE AND BROTHER WHO DIDN'T THINK ILL OF HER FOR FREEING JAIME LANNISTER AND NOW HE'S BLAMING HER FOR IT? And on top of that... like, are they planning to make us like Talisa by having her defend Cat to Robb? D&D, no. It's just going to make me dislike her more, if it's possible. Because if it wasn't clear already, Talisa = Evil. I can barely bring myself to forget the mess last season but now I have to deal with the Robb bodysnatcher? No. No. And no. *This* isn't Robb Stark, ffs. I fell for that stupid honorable idiot because he wasn't a stereotype and he wasn't married to a stereotype and he had an actual believable relationship with his mother when he didn't necessarily belittle her. Also, this dude deflowered a noblewoman while crazy with grief because he thought that his little brothers were *dead* WHICH WAS THE EXACT SAME REASON WHY CATELYN FREED JAIME SO MAYBE HE ACTUALLY UNDERSTOOD THE POINT but noooo, in here Catelyn frees him because LITTLEFINGER told her (which was bad enough) and since Robb hasn't technically fucked up as badly or fucked up for the same reason (though marrying Talisa is probably more stupid than freeing Jaime tbh) NOW HE'S ANGRY AT HER UUUGHHH FFS this show is a) turning me into a crazy Catelyn stan, b) almost making me ship Robb/JEYNE WESTERLING actively, c) turning me into a crazy Jeyne W. stan, damn it.
In short: ^ that is a mess, and Robb Stark is actually in my top ten favorite literary characters *ever*, so look at me not being happy if this clusterfuck is what I'm getting this year. And at least there wasn't anyone named Frey around this episode, small favors. Please tell me that at least when they get to show us the other Tully people they'll give me something that can be salvaged, because if this is what I have to expect generally, I can as well shoot myself metaphorically now.
the ugly
11. I liked Sansa's scene actually, but... why... why the fuck is she even talking with LF about escaping? Whut? Makes no fucking sense whatsoever? Why? She doesn't - that's not - that's not Sansa? I mean, that part is supposed to happen a lot later? (The part where she is stuck with LF, meaning) I just - uhm. I didn't put in the bad section because I reserve judgment until I actually see where they're actually going, but it was a major wtf.
12. Breasts, breasts, breasts. Yawn. Listen, until last season we had Alfie Allen being a gentleman and getting naked (like, the only idiot who does until now), but er uhm if this season it happens it won't be in the context I'd like, so.. CAN SOMEONE ELSE STEP UP TO THE PLATE? I ask for naked times equality, if we have to waste time with naked people. Like, seriously, I'd have totes been okay with Bronn taking off his damn trousers.
13. Littlefinger, I can't even with you.
14. The more they show me Ros with LF the more I'm suspecting she's gonna be the adwd Jeyne Poole replacement even if it still makes no sense. Someone convince me I'm wrong, please.
15. Uhm, wait, how was Sam supposed to send ravens if he was being followed by zombies? And where were the ravens even? Did he even have any with him in the S2 finale? That's mostly just me being wtf at it, but still.
overall
I expected much worse, to be honest. Also I'm totally glad that Theon wasn't in this week because I'm not entirely sure I can take his storyline this season altogether, so it's good they didn't load me with it at the beginning. On the other side, no Jaime and Brienne D: anyway, it *looks* better than last season was, and as a premiere it was definitely better structured, but as stated my investment is very very much linked with Robb, so if they fuck that up it's probably going to ruin my enjoyment of everything else except possibly Jaime and Brienne because unless they fuck that up royally nothing could ruin my enjoyment of Jaime and Brienne.
But damn it, last premiere had that fucking Robb/Theon scene which totally kicked me in the feels. While nothing in this episode was of the KICKING ME WITH FEELS level, but then again better like this than being utterly pissed as I was fearing, so until now I suppose I'm okay. Except. Ugh. That. Robb, Robb, where have you gone.
the good
1. The pacing. They finally learned that they can't put too much shit in one episode, so all good for now. It felt a lot less put together at random than last year's premiere.
2. DAVOS. DAVOSDAVOSDAVOS DID I SAY DAVOS aka one of the few people who managed to save themselves from character assassination because HE'S JUST - okay no seriously right now I'm like please everyone else go away and put this dude in charge. Also ugh he's so loyal to Stanniiiisss kill me ;____;
3. Dany. Well, moderately good - in the sense that I think my interest in that storyline isn't getting back on excitement levels anytime soon, but at least it wasn't boring and it wasn't like last year. I still am trying to discern what was Dany's SL last year.
Also, Iain Glen, you = hot. Please stay. Thanks.
4. Tywin. Charles Dance you're magnificent. And your character is absolutely morally horrible and I despise him, but I love your acting and you totally nailed it.
5. Tyrion. Or well, I don't have anything to wax poetical about because Dinklage is always excellent and that scene with Tywin was done soreallywell. :D
6. Bronn, though I'd have liked it better if they had shown some naked guy meat for once.
7. Margaery/Joffrey/Loras. Like, I'm nowhere near extra invested in any of those three, but NO CHARACTER ASSASSINATION GOING ON I'M OKAY WITH IT. Though this thing where both Joffrey and Robb are being like OMG MOM STOP EMBARRASSING ME is... not... okay, but more about that in the part about what I didn't like.
8. WILDLINGS. WILDLINGSSSS. I'm not entirely sold on the actor playing Mance - like, he's *good* and I see that he has the character down pat, but his face is just so far from what I imagined when reading the book that I can't buy him 100% yet. Other than that, TORMUND IS GLORIOUS, Ygritte is amazing and I had forgotten how much I loved Ygritte, and hahaha Jon bless you and your grumpy face. Also I kind of started cackling when he kneeled and was all like YOUR GRACE and everyone else was laughing in his face, though I'd like to know where are Val & co too.
9. THE FIRST SCENE.
PEOPLE, GHOST SAVED SAM'S LIFE INSTEAD OF BEING WHERE JON WAS. MY OTP LIVES.
Yes, I had to state that out loud. The Jon/Sam shipper life is hard enough already, I'm not gonna forget when they throw me bones like this one.
the bad
10. Er uhm was Stannis like *that* in the book? Because I don't remember it? Like, I remember him being fairly unreasonable at points, but I don't remember that it was him putting Davos in the dungeons? Stannis, that's not cool, go back to your boyfriend yes?
11. Someone get fucking Roose Bolton out of my sight, damn it. Like, right the fuck now. ... I can't ask for that, can I? *cries* like seriously just looking at him makes me want to vomit, I'm in for the Best Experience Ever this season.
12. ... right. I've danced around it but I obviously have to get there, so. Also: major ASOS BOOK spoilers, so you know if you don't want to read.
Robb.
What.
The.
Fuck.
Like, either last season the moment Talisa showed up there was a Westeros invasion of the body snatchers and that's not *Robb* or D&D haven't understood anything about how this dude works (... which... okay, could be, but in S1 he was *perfect* and they got him and Theon down pat - and him and Cat too UNTIL LAST SEASON, so I MEAN THEY GOT IT RIGHT UNTIL ONE POINT) or.. I don't even know, but if this isn't character assassination I have no fucking clue of how to call it. Or better, until Talisa-the-magic-lifesaver showed up out of nowhere cleaning wounds he was actually fine, but since then... uhm. people. In the book Robb was about THE ONLY FUCKING PERSON IN THE ENTIRETY OF RIVERRUN WITH THE POSSIBLE EXCEPTION OF CAT'S UNCLE AND BROTHER WHO DIDN'T THINK ILL OF HER FOR FREEING JAIME LANNISTER AND NOW HE'S BLAMING HER FOR IT? And on top of that... like, are they planning to make us like Talisa by having her defend Cat to Robb? D&D, no. It's just going to make me dislike her more, if it's possible. Because if it wasn't clear already, Talisa = Evil. I can barely bring myself to forget the mess last season but now I have to deal with the Robb bodysnatcher? No. No. And no. *This* isn't Robb Stark, ffs. I fell for that stupid honorable idiot because he wasn't a stereotype and he wasn't married to a stereotype and he had an actual believable relationship with his mother when he didn't necessarily belittle her. Also, this dude deflowered a noblewoman while crazy with grief because he thought that his little brothers were *dead* WHICH WAS THE EXACT SAME REASON WHY CATELYN FREED JAIME SO MAYBE HE ACTUALLY UNDERSTOOD THE POINT but noooo, in here Catelyn frees him because LITTLEFINGER told her (which was bad enough) and since Robb hasn't technically fucked up as badly or fucked up for the same reason (though marrying Talisa is probably more stupid than freeing Jaime tbh) NOW HE'S ANGRY AT HER UUUGHHH FFS this show is a) turning me into a crazy Catelyn stan, b) almost making me ship Robb/JEYNE WESTERLING actively, c) turning me into a crazy Jeyne W. stan, damn it.
In short: ^ that is a mess, and Robb Stark is actually in my top ten favorite literary characters *ever*, so look at me not being happy if this clusterfuck is what I'm getting this year. And at least there wasn't anyone named Frey around this episode, small favors. Please tell me that at least when they get to show us the other Tully people they'll give me something that can be salvaged, because if this is what I have to expect generally, I can as well shoot myself metaphorically now.
the ugly
11. I liked Sansa's scene actually, but... why... why the fuck is she even talking with LF about escaping? Whut? Makes no fucking sense whatsoever? Why? She doesn't - that's not - that's not Sansa? I mean, that part is supposed to happen a lot later? (The part where she is stuck with LF, meaning) I just - uhm. I didn't put in the bad section because I reserve judgment until I actually see where they're actually going, but it was a major wtf.
12. Breasts, breasts, breasts. Yawn. Listen, until last season we had Alfie Allen being a gentleman and getting naked (like, the only idiot who does until now), but er uhm if this season it happens it won't be in the context I'd like, so.. CAN SOMEONE ELSE STEP UP TO THE PLATE? I ask for naked times equality, if we have to waste time with naked people. Like, seriously, I'd have totes been okay with Bronn taking off his damn trousers.
13. Littlefinger, I can't even with you.
14. The more they show me Ros with LF the more I'm suspecting she's gonna be the adwd Jeyne Poole replacement even if it still makes no sense. Someone convince me I'm wrong, please.
15. Uhm, wait, how was Sam supposed to send ravens if he was being followed by zombies? And where were the ravens even? Did he even have any with him in the S2 finale? That's mostly just me being wtf at it, but still.
overall
I expected much worse, to be honest. Also I'm totally glad that Theon wasn't in this week because I'm not entirely sure I can take his storyline this season altogether, so it's good they didn't load me with it at the beginning. On the other side, no Jaime and Brienne D: anyway, it *looks* better than last season was, and as a premiere it was definitely better structured, but as stated my investment is very very much linked with Robb, so if they fuck that up it's probably going to ruin my enjoyment of everything else except possibly Jaime and Brienne because unless they fuck that up royally nothing could ruin my enjoyment of Jaime and Brienne.
But damn it, last premiere had that fucking Robb/Theon scene which totally kicked me in the feels. While nothing in this episode was of the KICKING ME WITH FEELS level, but then again better like this than being utterly pissed as I was fearing, so until now I suppose I'm okay. Except. Ugh. That. Robb, Robb, where have you gone.