fic, Supernatural: He Loves You (and you know you should be glad), (Jimmy, Dean/Castiel), PG13
This one, I owed, too.
Title: He Loves You (and you know you should be glad)
Rating: PG13
Characters/Pairing: Jimmy, Dean/Castiel, Chuck and Sam on the side
Words: 3625
Summary: where Jimmy can't really stand Castiel being miserable because he thinks his feelings for Dean are unrequited and takes the matter into his own hands.
Spoilers: up until 4x22.
Disclaimer: no, they aren't mine. I couldn't make them all so wonderfully miserable even if I tried.
A/N: this is for wandersfound who in a meme ages ago asked for any Dean/Castiel that passed through my head and well, this was what passed through my head. But I know she likes Jimmy and the Beatles from whom I've obviously stolen the title (and I had the idea while listening to that song) so I hope this is fine. ;) Also, this is slightly crack-ish but not exactly full crack I think. Using for sacred_20 #2, saint.
Now, Jimmy Novak might be a lot of things, but that he is a devout man is something that no one would dare questioning. And since he’s a devout man, Jimmy was never one to sin much. He never was envious of anyone (he had a job that paid fairly well, a beautiful wife and daughter and he owned his home instead of renting it; he couldn’t have asked God for more than that); he never was greedy (he has always paid his taxes up to the last cent and he regularly donated to charity); the only person he ever felt a rightful lust for was his wife; he can’t remember a time he seriously got angry; he never ate too much (well, fine, that one time he did, but fuck, he hadn’t eaten for a year) and he never postponed doing anything. And well, he never was one who ever held too much pride on himself (well, he always was proud for his daughter, but that is just the natural course of things).
Which is why, if right now Jimmy Novak thinks that if someone upstairs doesn’t make him at least a minor saint when he dies it’ll be a fucking injustice, and excuse him the very blunt phrasing, it means that this is a really, really, really serious deal.
See, it isn’t about the whole Apocalypse thing going on, nor the fact that he’s being currently possessed by a renegade angel on the run from Heaven who gets heads up from a prophet of the Lord who writes books that Jimmy wouldn’t have ever let his daughter read before she turned at least sixteen. It’s not about his body suffering in battle and technically dying at least five times, or the blood losses. It’s about Castiel fucking moping after Dean.
Or better. See, since he went and disobeyed all the way, Castiel has stopped trying to repress whatever he was repressing since he had possessed Jimmy for the second time. And Jimmy can swear that when he stopped he had let out a breath of relief, since it felt like there was some fucking time bomb ticking and ready to explode inside him. The problem is that what Castiel was repressing is longing and desire and honest-to-God-love and it floods through him and through Jimmy every single time he looks at Dean, which is fairly often these days. But the problem is that Castiel won’t act and so while longing he deludes himself into thinking that it’s hopeless and it’s not meant to be and all that jazz. And bearing an angel’s love delusions should be enough, but then there’s the other part of it. Because you see, Castiel doesn’t know a thing about figuring human body language out, but Jimmy does, thank you so much really, and from what he sees Dean is fucking (and please, notice that Jimmy is not someone who swears usually) head-over-heels for Castiel and clearly he won’t do anything about it either and that’s what is driving Jimmy nuts, nuts, nuts. It’s just like the worst romance novel he could have found himself in.
Because Castiel is grateful to be near Dean at all and meanwhile he aches because he can’t be with him the way he wants and because he thinks it’d be disrespectful towards Jimmy (which seriously almost makes him want to laugh; he has fucking killed his body a number of times, does he really think that Jimmy would mind it if it was sex instead of technically dying?) and meanwhile thinks things that Jimmy is pretty sure would be found embarrassing even at Hallmark. (Jimmy used to buy Amelia Hallmark cards, so he knows what he’s talking about, thank you very much.)
Meanwhile Dean is always staring like he can’t believe Castiel is there at all and Jimmy hears every-single-thought of Castiel’s on the matter even when he’s shut out (it actually doesn’t happen much lately, except when nasty stuff is going on, and Jimmy is thankful for small favors). And if being possessed by an angel is like being tied to a comet, being chained to a lovesick angel is like being a small, insignificant asteroid in the midst of a meteor shower and Jimmy is definitely not up for it, especially when it could be avoided. It’s just so obvious that those two are pining for each other, and really, Jimmy doesn’t even give a flying fuck (he has really started to swear lately) that it’d be his body having sex with Dean. Apart from the fact that maybe it’d be nice for a change, he just wants those two to get over their moping and do it the fuck already; but they’re so thick that they won’t ever manage on their own. Sometimes he wonders how the hell can Sam stand them unless he finds it fun, and in that case he’s a masochist; but from what he remembers, the kid is a masochist after all. He isn’t the one with the angel living inside him anyway. Sometimes he wishes he could talk to him, maybe plan something; but Jimmy can’t do shit in his state, getting them a room included.
He can only try to talk to Castiel, but angel reasoning fails him most times. He’s only human, after all; and Castiel never wants to talk about his thing with Dean anyway, so no help on that front.
It doesn’t change that he can’t keep on going on with an angel of the Lord possessing his body when said angel is crushing on Dean like a twelve year old girl falling for someone for the first time.
--
So, Jimmy decided that he needs to do something. This, three weeks after Lucifer rises. Because that’s when Castiel starts deluding himself so much that he seriously becomes miserable and if he is miserable Jimmy is too and Jimmy is already miserable enough on his own.
Just tell him, he offers one evening out of desperation. Castiel’s laugh is bleak. Jimmy can’t help thinking that he also got an angel who is a fucking drama queen.
No.
But why not? He…
He doesn’t need another problem.
Oh, come on, you wouldn’t be. And I mean, I’m actually fine if…
No.
You do realize that it’ll just make you even more miserable?
Then so be it.
Jimmy can’t explain Castiel the whole body language factor; that’s when he realizes he’ll have to play dirty.
--
Jimmy doesn’t know what happened with the archangels because he was out at that moment; but after, he has found out that they must have done some damage because Castiel doesn’t have complete control anymore.
Jimmy thinks that Castiel isn’t aware of it; and really, it isn’t anything major. But if Jimmy is subtle and concentrates and sticks to what could pass for reflexive motions, he can move some limbs without Castiel noticing.
And so, if Cas doesn’t go to Dean, then Jimmy will bring him and while Castiel won’t ever pick a hint, Jimmy is sure that Dean will. He wasn’t born fucking yesterday, after all. Which is how plan A starts.
Jimmy is careful and doesn’t overdo anything; but when they’re in the same room or sitting near, he will bring their body nearer, or he will move so that theirs and Dean’s thighs or shoulders bump against each other. Maybe Castiel’s fingers will brush the skin on Dean’s wrist, stuff like that, and meanwhile Jimmy tries to force Castiel to fucking smile a bit once in a blue moon. And he’s subtle and careful and he does his job just fine: pity that Dean doesn’t get the hints. It’s like the moron is stuck and won’t even try to get closer to Castiel more than he thinks it’s appropriate and after a week Jimmy has to give up on plan A. Surely Dean and Castiel deserve each other, considering how freaking thick they are. Or clueless, he has to decide about that.
--
Plan B is actually pretty ingenious, or at least so he thinks. Maybe Dean just needs a small push and Jimmy, well, Jimmy isn’t a vain person at all, but he always used to take good care of his body and this might just turn helpful. Sure, he knows that it isn’t a physical thing, not really, otherwise he’d have felt some tension with Dean when Castiel was gone, but Jimmy is sure that Dean doesn’t find his body too hard on the eyes. So he convinces Castiel to get some new clothes because the coat and suit are fine but really, they have had them on for more than one year and it would just help Castiel look more human and it’d be better for hiding if he changed clothes regularly.
It doesn’t take much to convince Castiel, who admits to be clueless when it comes to picking; that’s exactly where Jimmy wanted him, and of course he will choose, he knows what’s better for that purpose.
Seeing Dean’s face when they show up dressed in a pair of tight blue jeans, a casual grey t-shirt and a jeans jacket that is a size too big but that Jimmy made Castiel pick exactly for that reason makes Jimmy’s heart leap in joy; he stares so hard and so long that Jimmy is sure that he’s going to jump the both of them now, but then Dean just clears his throat and compliments Cas on the attire and it’s over there.
Plan 2B and 3B imply trying new combinations; but neither a black shirt made of fake silk which looks good enough to be true as long as you don’t touch it and not even an old Led Zeppelin t-shirt that Jimmy urged Castiel to buy after he saw it in the window of a used clothes shop is enough to snap Dean out of it.
--
Plan C materializes when Dean, one evening, says screw the demons, the world still isn’t over and they need a break, and brings them and Sam and Chuck to a drive-in to see Hellraiser of all things. Now, Sam decides that it’s a bore and he’ll just spend the second half taking a walk, and when Dean stares at Chuck, the poor prophet runs out of the car saying that he wants to take a walk too; and while Jimmy can’t help feeling sorry for the poor bastard almost as much as he feels sorry for himself, he realizes that this is the perfect occasion. Empty car, horror movie, drive in, can it get more of a cliché? He starts again with the subtle moves, not that he has to do much because Castiel is kind of upset here, and who knew angels actually got scared of horror movies, and so it isn’t that much of a stretch when his hand grips Dean’s softly during some pretty nasty scene.
The problem is that Dean just holds it back and nothing happens until it’s over.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. If they didn’t catch such a gold occasion, nothing is going to work and he’ll spend his possessed existence sharing his body with a lovesick angel and if the world has to end this isn’t how he wants to die.
--
Plan D is the last resort and he knows he will have to play his cards right.
He knows it’s a long shot, but he has to try. Otherwise… otherwise. He won’t even think about it.
He just tells Castiel that he really wishes for a few hours for himself. Just to eat something and maybe take a walk. Nothing more, really, but since they’re here, he could just do it for him for a while
If I leave, they will find me.
You don’t have to leave. Just… instead of shutting me out, shut yourself out. Two hours, no more.
He feels Castiel debating, but he knows he hit a sore spot. After all he knows that Castiel wasn’t too enthusiast about ripping him from his family again.
Very well. You may have two hours.
And then he’s suddenly himself and he has to hurry. He goes to the room Dean shares with Sam and where Chuck currently is, writing something, takes Dean by the elbow saying that it’s him, he has two hours and no money and he really feels like eating three pancakes at least and he can look at prophecies later.
Dean is too shocked to object and by then Jimmy is already dragging him out of the motel and towards the diner in front of the road.
--
The slice of chocolate cake coming with whipped cream on another small plate is enough to make Jimmy’s mouth water and his empty stomach ache, but he doesn’t attack it and rather just takes a small bit. He figures he needs to savor it. Meanwhile Dean pays the bill and brings a cup of coffee to his lips; Jimmy takes a breath and looks at him as he dips the fork into his slice.
“Dean. I need to tell you something.”
“You need to tell me something?
“Yes,” Jimmy answers as he swallows his second bit. “Actually, it’s the reason why I’m here. Castiel doesn’t know. I told him I wanted two hours to myself and that was it, but I needed two hours to myself so that I could talk to you so I’d really be fucking happy if you listened to me carefully, because that’s not anything I want to say twice.”
Dean raises his eyes and stares at him; Jimmy cuts a slightly bigger slice and stares back. Then takes a break from eating.
“So, are you completely blind or what?”
“What do you…”
“I mean, how much else will it take you to figure it out that the comet I’m anchored to is in love with you?”
Dean’s mouth opens in shock and he almost spits the coffee; Jimmy lowers his fork and dips the cake into the cream, then slowly chews on it. Mm. He needs to convince Castiel to start eating, after he gets him into bed with Dean.
“He’s what?”
“In-love-with-you. And I don’t mean I love each one of God’s creatures and all that jazz, I mean serious love. Fuck, if anyone at Hallmark knew what he thinks about you they’d hire him as a consultant, and it’s seriously making me lose whatever sanity I have left. And stop looking like some lightning just struck you, it’s not like you don’t feel the same way.”
Dean chokes on the coffee.
“How did you…”
“Do you think that I can’t read body language? Fuck, the way you look at him, I don’t know why you haven’t acted upon it until now. And don’t feed me any crap about angels falling and him not loving you that way and whatever. He’s half fallen already, and I can’t take him crushing over you like my daughter crushed on Johnny Depp anymore.”
Dean opens and closes his mouth at least three times; Jimmy snorts and has another small piece, savoring each single bit.
“Anyway, I’ve been trying to make the both of you move for… hell, I don’t even want to know. First I tried to push him, then it didn’t work and I tried the clothes but you just won’t get an hint, and by the way, it was me making him grab your hand at the drive-in. And it didn’t work, too, which is why I had to come to this and I swear, if tonight you don’t go and just jump over him or us already, I will hold you responsible for all my unnecessary suffering.”
He cuts another piece then, the fork landing with a noise on the plate; Dean blinks and looks even more shocked.
“But… isn’t that your body? You actually want us to…”
“Dean. This body has died at least ten times, technically, and hurt a lot more, and lost a whole fucking lot of blood, and… whatever. Now, do you think that I’d be more okay with anything that was even remotely pleasurable or with that? Anyway, I chose this, more or less, it’s my problem. And really, try having a moping angel inside you deluding himself into thinking you wouldn’t ever want to look him in the eye if he let any of his inappropriate feelings show. Then we talk about it. I don’t give a damn if you two have sex or just kiss or do whatever other thing you want to do, just do some move on him and make him stop being miserable. It’s not like I don’t have enough of it for myself without needing him being miserable too. And now I really need another slice,” he says, noticing that in between his rant he had finished his cake. Dean orders another portion and takes his head between his hands. He hasn’t even tried to deny that he does like Castiel that way, which is just peachy for Jimmy. Really peachy. The second slice comes and he brings the fork down again.
“But… are you sure… I mean, he… he is… he can’t just…”
Jimmy rolls his eyes and thinks about the sweetness in his mouth rather than about his sudden urge to strangle Dean.
“Dean. This is the first and last time I’ll say it. He-loves-you. Okay? He has it written in fucking neon lights inside my head and if you don’t go and get him and yourself a room tonight you’ll have the loss of my sanity on your conscience. Christ. And I think I could do with a Pepsi, by the way.”
Dean shuts up and orders one and Jimmy feels thankful for small favors. At least if this goes wrong too he’ll have a full stomach for a while.
--
Castiel is back two hours later, but by then Jimmy has three slices of chocolate cake, two Pepsi cans and one coffee in his system and feels considerably more equipped to deal with… whatever has to happen.
Then Dean asks Chuck if they can switch room that night, he can stay with Sam after all for once, right?, and Jimmy rejoices. Maybe it’s the time.
Castiel tilts his head in confusion when Dean says that he’s his roommate tonight.
“Oh. Very well then. But was there a reason?”
“I figured you got tired of prophecies and I can do without Sam’s snoring for a night. Is that… alright?”
Oh, for God’s sake, Jimmy thinks, sure that Castiel is too focused on Dean to care about what he thinks. What question is that?
“Of course it is.”
“Cas, listen, there’s… uh… one thing I need to tell you. I think.”
He found out, how did it happen, it’s over, no are all the thoughts going through Castiel’s head as Dean’s expression becomes suddenly serious and Jimmy feels overwhelmed with despair and would gladly kill them both, if he only could. If only. If only.
“If… if you really have to then say it.”
And now Dean looks undecided and Jimmy is seriously becoming desperate because just no, no, not now, but then Dean stands up, gets closer, a lot closer, a lot closer, and Castiel now is just shocked and Jimmy has never felt more of an idiot in his whole life, praying that Dean could just close that fucking distance, dammit, it’s crazy that…
“I’m sorry,” Dean mouths before kissing Castiel, or them, or whatever, and Christ, it’s so disappointing of a kiss. For what Jimmy has seen of Dean Winchester he definitely knows his way around a kiss, but this is all closed lips and chaste touching and not even a bit of pushing. Fuck, Jimmy’s own first kiss had been more heated, and it had been when he was seventeen and with Amelia, which he had thought was lame until now, but he figures it really isn’t. But then he feels Castiel’s despair wavering and maybe this is working after all, maybe…
And then Dean is about to break it off and Castiel is still as a statue, completely ill-equipped to deal with this, and Jimmy won’t have it.
Just kiss him back, won’t you?
But… he… this…
If you don’t kiss him back now he will think he had it wrong and sure as… surely he hasn’t, right?
And that’s when Castiel opens his lips and kisses tentatively back with a lack of experience that should really be saddening, except that it’s enough for Dean to slam them against a wall and start kissing Castiel seriously, with tongue and hands cradling their face and all and Castiel sighs and gives in. He kisses back as best as he can, despair turning into utter and sheer joy, so much that Jimmy feels flooded with it and he’s the best he has felt since Castiel possessed him altogether. Finally, finally, finally he thinks when Castiel’s hands grip Dean’s shoulders and Dean crushes him against his chest, and then clothes are disappearing and Castiel is saying something very Hallmark and Dean is blushing furiously and kissing the hell out of him again and Jimmy would probably raise some fist in the air if he could. Well, fine, he’ll do it metaphorically.
Sure as hell, sex is definitely better than getting stabbed and thrown across a room multiple times. Also, he feels pretty fucking proud of himself for once but hey, everyone would agree that he had done a remarkable job here, considering the situation.
He just hopes that now Castiel doesn’t trade depressing Hallmark thoughts for happy Hallmark thoughts because that’s possibly even scarier, but if he does he’ll just deal with it. But he’s so giving Heaven a dear bill when it’s his turn to go, that’s for sure.
End.
Title: He Loves You (and you know you should be glad)
Rating: PG13
Characters/Pairing: Jimmy, Dean/Castiel, Chuck and Sam on the side
Words: 3625
Summary: where Jimmy can't really stand Castiel being miserable because he thinks his feelings for Dean are unrequited and takes the matter into his own hands.
Spoilers: up until 4x22.
Disclaimer: no, they aren't mine. I couldn't make them all so wonderfully miserable even if I tried.
A/N: this is for wandersfound who in a meme ages ago asked for any Dean/Castiel that passed through my head and well, this was what passed through my head. But I know she likes Jimmy and the Beatles from whom I've obviously stolen the title (and I had the idea while listening to that song) so I hope this is fine. ;) Also, this is slightly crack-ish but not exactly full crack I think. Using for sacred_20 #2, saint.
Now, Jimmy Novak might be a lot of things, but that he is a devout man is something that no one would dare questioning. And since he’s a devout man, Jimmy was never one to sin much. He never was envious of anyone (he had a job that paid fairly well, a beautiful wife and daughter and he owned his home instead of renting it; he couldn’t have asked God for more than that); he never was greedy (he has always paid his taxes up to the last cent and he regularly donated to charity); the only person he ever felt a rightful lust for was his wife; he can’t remember a time he seriously got angry; he never ate too much (well, fine, that one time he did, but fuck, he hadn’t eaten for a year) and he never postponed doing anything. And well, he never was one who ever held too much pride on himself (well, he always was proud for his daughter, but that is just the natural course of things).
Which is why, if right now Jimmy Novak thinks that if someone upstairs doesn’t make him at least a minor saint when he dies it’ll be a fucking injustice, and excuse him the very blunt phrasing, it means that this is a really, really, really serious deal.
See, it isn’t about the whole Apocalypse thing going on, nor the fact that he’s being currently possessed by a renegade angel on the run from Heaven who gets heads up from a prophet of the Lord who writes books that Jimmy wouldn’t have ever let his daughter read before she turned at least sixteen. It’s not about his body suffering in battle and technically dying at least five times, or the blood losses. It’s about Castiel fucking moping after Dean.
Or better. See, since he went and disobeyed all the way, Castiel has stopped trying to repress whatever he was repressing since he had possessed Jimmy for the second time. And Jimmy can swear that when he stopped he had let out a breath of relief, since it felt like there was some fucking time bomb ticking and ready to explode inside him. The problem is that what Castiel was repressing is longing and desire and honest-to-God-love and it floods through him and through Jimmy every single time he looks at Dean, which is fairly often these days. But the problem is that Castiel won’t act and so while longing he deludes himself into thinking that it’s hopeless and it’s not meant to be and all that jazz. And bearing an angel’s love delusions should be enough, but then there’s the other part of it. Because you see, Castiel doesn’t know a thing about figuring human body language out, but Jimmy does, thank you so much really, and from what he sees Dean is fucking (and please, notice that Jimmy is not someone who swears usually) head-over-heels for Castiel and clearly he won’t do anything about it either and that’s what is driving Jimmy nuts, nuts, nuts. It’s just like the worst romance novel he could have found himself in.
Because Castiel is grateful to be near Dean at all and meanwhile he aches because he can’t be with him the way he wants and because he thinks it’d be disrespectful towards Jimmy (which seriously almost makes him want to laugh; he has fucking killed his body a number of times, does he really think that Jimmy would mind it if it was sex instead of technically dying?) and meanwhile thinks things that Jimmy is pretty sure would be found embarrassing even at Hallmark. (Jimmy used to buy Amelia Hallmark cards, so he knows what he’s talking about, thank you very much.)
Meanwhile Dean is always staring like he can’t believe Castiel is there at all and Jimmy hears every-single-thought of Castiel’s on the matter even when he’s shut out (it actually doesn’t happen much lately, except when nasty stuff is going on, and Jimmy is thankful for small favors). And if being possessed by an angel is like being tied to a comet, being chained to a lovesick angel is like being a small, insignificant asteroid in the midst of a meteor shower and Jimmy is definitely not up for it, especially when it could be avoided. It’s just so obvious that those two are pining for each other, and really, Jimmy doesn’t even give a flying fuck (he has really started to swear lately) that it’d be his body having sex with Dean. Apart from the fact that maybe it’d be nice for a change, he just wants those two to get over their moping and do it the fuck already; but they’re so thick that they won’t ever manage on their own. Sometimes he wonders how the hell can Sam stand them unless he finds it fun, and in that case he’s a masochist; but from what he remembers, the kid is a masochist after all. He isn’t the one with the angel living inside him anyway. Sometimes he wishes he could talk to him, maybe plan something; but Jimmy can’t do shit in his state, getting them a room included.
He can only try to talk to Castiel, but angel reasoning fails him most times. He’s only human, after all; and Castiel never wants to talk about his thing with Dean anyway, so no help on that front.
It doesn’t change that he can’t keep on going on with an angel of the Lord possessing his body when said angel is crushing on Dean like a twelve year old girl falling for someone for the first time.
--
So, Jimmy decided that he needs to do something. This, three weeks after Lucifer rises. Because that’s when Castiel starts deluding himself so much that he seriously becomes miserable and if he is miserable Jimmy is too and Jimmy is already miserable enough on his own.
Just tell him, he offers one evening out of desperation. Castiel’s laugh is bleak. Jimmy can’t help thinking that he also got an angel who is a fucking drama queen.
No.
But why not? He…
He doesn’t need another problem.
Oh, come on, you wouldn’t be. And I mean, I’m actually fine if…
No.
You do realize that it’ll just make you even more miserable?
Then so be it.
Jimmy can’t explain Castiel the whole body language factor; that’s when he realizes he’ll have to play dirty.
--
Jimmy doesn’t know what happened with the archangels because he was out at that moment; but after, he has found out that they must have done some damage because Castiel doesn’t have complete control anymore.
Jimmy thinks that Castiel isn’t aware of it; and really, it isn’t anything major. But if Jimmy is subtle and concentrates and sticks to what could pass for reflexive motions, he can move some limbs without Castiel noticing.
And so, if Cas doesn’t go to Dean, then Jimmy will bring him and while Castiel won’t ever pick a hint, Jimmy is sure that Dean will. He wasn’t born fucking yesterday, after all. Which is how plan A starts.
Jimmy is careful and doesn’t overdo anything; but when they’re in the same room or sitting near, he will bring their body nearer, or he will move so that theirs and Dean’s thighs or shoulders bump against each other. Maybe Castiel’s fingers will brush the skin on Dean’s wrist, stuff like that, and meanwhile Jimmy tries to force Castiel to fucking smile a bit once in a blue moon. And he’s subtle and careful and he does his job just fine: pity that Dean doesn’t get the hints. It’s like the moron is stuck and won’t even try to get closer to Castiel more than he thinks it’s appropriate and after a week Jimmy has to give up on plan A. Surely Dean and Castiel deserve each other, considering how freaking thick they are. Or clueless, he has to decide about that.
--
Plan B is actually pretty ingenious, or at least so he thinks. Maybe Dean just needs a small push and Jimmy, well, Jimmy isn’t a vain person at all, but he always used to take good care of his body and this might just turn helpful. Sure, he knows that it isn’t a physical thing, not really, otherwise he’d have felt some tension with Dean when Castiel was gone, but Jimmy is sure that Dean doesn’t find his body too hard on the eyes. So he convinces Castiel to get some new clothes because the coat and suit are fine but really, they have had them on for more than one year and it would just help Castiel look more human and it’d be better for hiding if he changed clothes regularly.
It doesn’t take much to convince Castiel, who admits to be clueless when it comes to picking; that’s exactly where Jimmy wanted him, and of course he will choose, he knows what’s better for that purpose.
Seeing Dean’s face when they show up dressed in a pair of tight blue jeans, a casual grey t-shirt and a jeans jacket that is a size too big but that Jimmy made Castiel pick exactly for that reason makes Jimmy’s heart leap in joy; he stares so hard and so long that Jimmy is sure that he’s going to jump the both of them now, but then Dean just clears his throat and compliments Cas on the attire and it’s over there.
Plan 2B and 3B imply trying new combinations; but neither a black shirt made of fake silk which looks good enough to be true as long as you don’t touch it and not even an old Led Zeppelin t-shirt that Jimmy urged Castiel to buy after he saw it in the window of a used clothes shop is enough to snap Dean out of it.
--
Plan C materializes when Dean, one evening, says screw the demons, the world still isn’t over and they need a break, and brings them and Sam and Chuck to a drive-in to see Hellraiser of all things. Now, Sam decides that it’s a bore and he’ll just spend the second half taking a walk, and when Dean stares at Chuck, the poor prophet runs out of the car saying that he wants to take a walk too; and while Jimmy can’t help feeling sorry for the poor bastard almost as much as he feels sorry for himself, he realizes that this is the perfect occasion. Empty car, horror movie, drive in, can it get more of a cliché? He starts again with the subtle moves, not that he has to do much because Castiel is kind of upset here, and who knew angels actually got scared of horror movies, and so it isn’t that much of a stretch when his hand grips Dean’s softly during some pretty nasty scene.
The problem is that Dean just holds it back and nothing happens until it’s over.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. If they didn’t catch such a gold occasion, nothing is going to work and he’ll spend his possessed existence sharing his body with a lovesick angel and if the world has to end this isn’t how he wants to die.
--
Plan D is the last resort and he knows he will have to play his cards right.
He knows it’s a long shot, but he has to try. Otherwise… otherwise. He won’t even think about it.
He just tells Castiel that he really wishes for a few hours for himself. Just to eat something and maybe take a walk. Nothing more, really, but since they’re here, he could just do it for him for a while
If I leave, they will find me.
You don’t have to leave. Just… instead of shutting me out, shut yourself out. Two hours, no more.
He feels Castiel debating, but he knows he hit a sore spot. After all he knows that Castiel wasn’t too enthusiast about ripping him from his family again.
Very well. You may have two hours.
And then he’s suddenly himself and he has to hurry. He goes to the room Dean shares with Sam and where Chuck currently is, writing something, takes Dean by the elbow saying that it’s him, he has two hours and no money and he really feels like eating three pancakes at least and he can look at prophecies later.
Dean is too shocked to object and by then Jimmy is already dragging him out of the motel and towards the diner in front of the road.
--
The slice of chocolate cake coming with whipped cream on another small plate is enough to make Jimmy’s mouth water and his empty stomach ache, but he doesn’t attack it and rather just takes a small bit. He figures he needs to savor it. Meanwhile Dean pays the bill and brings a cup of coffee to his lips; Jimmy takes a breath and looks at him as he dips the fork into his slice.
“Dean. I need to tell you something.”
“You need to tell me something?
“Yes,” Jimmy answers as he swallows his second bit. “Actually, it’s the reason why I’m here. Castiel doesn’t know. I told him I wanted two hours to myself and that was it, but I needed two hours to myself so that I could talk to you so I’d really be fucking happy if you listened to me carefully, because that’s not anything I want to say twice.”
Dean raises his eyes and stares at him; Jimmy cuts a slightly bigger slice and stares back. Then takes a break from eating.
“So, are you completely blind or what?”
“What do you…”
“I mean, how much else will it take you to figure it out that the comet I’m anchored to is in love with you?”
Dean’s mouth opens in shock and he almost spits the coffee; Jimmy lowers his fork and dips the cake into the cream, then slowly chews on it. Mm. He needs to convince Castiel to start eating, after he gets him into bed with Dean.
“He’s what?”
“In-love-with-you. And I don’t mean I love each one of God’s creatures and all that jazz, I mean serious love. Fuck, if anyone at Hallmark knew what he thinks about you they’d hire him as a consultant, and it’s seriously making me lose whatever sanity I have left. And stop looking like some lightning just struck you, it’s not like you don’t feel the same way.”
Dean chokes on the coffee.
“How did you…”
“Do you think that I can’t read body language? Fuck, the way you look at him, I don’t know why you haven’t acted upon it until now. And don’t feed me any crap about angels falling and him not loving you that way and whatever. He’s half fallen already, and I can’t take him crushing over you like my daughter crushed on Johnny Depp anymore.”
Dean opens and closes his mouth at least three times; Jimmy snorts and has another small piece, savoring each single bit.
“Anyway, I’ve been trying to make the both of you move for… hell, I don’t even want to know. First I tried to push him, then it didn’t work and I tried the clothes but you just won’t get an hint, and by the way, it was me making him grab your hand at the drive-in. And it didn’t work, too, which is why I had to come to this and I swear, if tonight you don’t go and just jump over him or us already, I will hold you responsible for all my unnecessary suffering.”
He cuts another piece then, the fork landing with a noise on the plate; Dean blinks and looks even more shocked.
“But… isn’t that your body? You actually want us to…”
“Dean. This body has died at least ten times, technically, and hurt a lot more, and lost a whole fucking lot of blood, and… whatever. Now, do you think that I’d be more okay with anything that was even remotely pleasurable or with that? Anyway, I chose this, more or less, it’s my problem. And really, try having a moping angel inside you deluding himself into thinking you wouldn’t ever want to look him in the eye if he let any of his inappropriate feelings show. Then we talk about it. I don’t give a damn if you two have sex or just kiss or do whatever other thing you want to do, just do some move on him and make him stop being miserable. It’s not like I don’t have enough of it for myself without needing him being miserable too. And now I really need another slice,” he says, noticing that in between his rant he had finished his cake. Dean orders another portion and takes his head between his hands. He hasn’t even tried to deny that he does like Castiel that way, which is just peachy for Jimmy. Really peachy. The second slice comes and he brings the fork down again.
“But… are you sure… I mean, he… he is… he can’t just…”
Jimmy rolls his eyes and thinks about the sweetness in his mouth rather than about his sudden urge to strangle Dean.
“Dean. This is the first and last time I’ll say it. He-loves-you. Okay? He has it written in fucking neon lights inside my head and if you don’t go and get him and yourself a room tonight you’ll have the loss of my sanity on your conscience. Christ. And I think I could do with a Pepsi, by the way.”
Dean shuts up and orders one and Jimmy feels thankful for small favors. At least if this goes wrong too he’ll have a full stomach for a while.
--
Castiel is back two hours later, but by then Jimmy has three slices of chocolate cake, two Pepsi cans and one coffee in his system and feels considerably more equipped to deal with… whatever has to happen.
Then Dean asks Chuck if they can switch room that night, he can stay with Sam after all for once, right?, and Jimmy rejoices. Maybe it’s the time.
Castiel tilts his head in confusion when Dean says that he’s his roommate tonight.
“Oh. Very well then. But was there a reason?”
“I figured you got tired of prophecies and I can do without Sam’s snoring for a night. Is that… alright?”
Oh, for God’s sake, Jimmy thinks, sure that Castiel is too focused on Dean to care about what he thinks. What question is that?
“Of course it is.”
“Cas, listen, there’s… uh… one thing I need to tell you. I think.”
He found out, how did it happen, it’s over, no are all the thoughts going through Castiel’s head as Dean’s expression becomes suddenly serious and Jimmy feels overwhelmed with despair and would gladly kill them both, if he only could. If only. If only.
“If… if you really have to then say it.”
And now Dean looks undecided and Jimmy is seriously becoming desperate because just no, no, not now, but then Dean stands up, gets closer, a lot closer, a lot closer, and Castiel now is just shocked and Jimmy has never felt more of an idiot in his whole life, praying that Dean could just close that fucking distance, dammit, it’s crazy that…
“I’m sorry,” Dean mouths before kissing Castiel, or them, or whatever, and Christ, it’s so disappointing of a kiss. For what Jimmy has seen of Dean Winchester he definitely knows his way around a kiss, but this is all closed lips and chaste touching and not even a bit of pushing. Fuck, Jimmy’s own first kiss had been more heated, and it had been when he was seventeen and with Amelia, which he had thought was lame until now, but he figures it really isn’t. But then he feels Castiel’s despair wavering and maybe this is working after all, maybe…
And then Dean is about to break it off and Castiel is still as a statue, completely ill-equipped to deal with this, and Jimmy won’t have it.
Just kiss him back, won’t you?
But… he… this…
If you don’t kiss him back now he will think he had it wrong and sure as… surely he hasn’t, right?
And that’s when Castiel opens his lips and kisses tentatively back with a lack of experience that should really be saddening, except that it’s enough for Dean to slam them against a wall and start kissing Castiel seriously, with tongue and hands cradling their face and all and Castiel sighs and gives in. He kisses back as best as he can, despair turning into utter and sheer joy, so much that Jimmy feels flooded with it and he’s the best he has felt since Castiel possessed him altogether. Finally, finally, finally he thinks when Castiel’s hands grip Dean’s shoulders and Dean crushes him against his chest, and then clothes are disappearing and Castiel is saying something very Hallmark and Dean is blushing furiously and kissing the hell out of him again and Jimmy would probably raise some fist in the air if he could. Well, fine, he’ll do it metaphorically.
Sure as hell, sex is definitely better than getting stabbed and thrown across a room multiple times. Also, he feels pretty fucking proud of himself for once but hey, everyone would agree that he had done a remarkable job here, considering the situation.
He just hopes that now Castiel doesn’t trade depressing Hallmark thoughts for happy Hallmark thoughts because that’s possibly even scarier, but if he does he’ll just deal with it. But he’s so giving Heaven a dear bill when it’s his turn to go, that’s for sure.
End.