fic, Lost: Are Birds Free from the Chains of the Skyway? (Sawyer/Juliet/Desmond), R
I blame this on lenina20 only ♥. I wouldn't have even thought about it otherwise. I really am so not sure about it (and hell, where is that part of me that once wrote a complete threesome in Italian without chickening out? Well, seems like it's asleep *kicks it*) but I'm sure that the finale will make this seem completely AU so well, here we go.
Title: Are Birds Free from the Chains of the Skyway?
Pairing: every possible combination of Sawyer/Juliet/Desmond
Rating: R. Probably the less detailed threesome you ever read.
Disclaimer: Sure as hell they're not mine.
Word count: around 2300
Spoilers: For Cabin Fever.
Summary: Sawyer knows that for Desmond and Juliet this island is nothing short than a prison. He understands them; he knows what it feels like.
A/N: Won third place at lostfichallenge #73, freedom. Also using for 10_shakespeare, "Can one desire too much of a good thing?". The title comes from Bob Dylan's 'Ballad in Plain D' and it's kind of relevant. The title, not the song, that is as far from this as it could get. Half written in yesterday's lectures' pauses, because I clearly can't do anything else.
The island moved and it’s just the three of them now.
They had felt it, but they really couldn’t say how it happened. Now, not only they lost that bare idea of where the island was before, but they don’t even know where on the island they are now. Juliet says she’s never been to this side of it and Desmond says he has been around less than her.
So, it’s the three of them and they’re lost. Simple as that.
--
Sawyer knows that for Desmond and Juliet this island is nothing short than a prison. He understands them; he knows what it feels like.
For the both of them it’s just a cell without bars, or maybe an enormous yard in which they have to spend an endless lock up time. He also knows that they both feel like they’ve spent three years collecting trash without taking a single step further in the chain of command. Or maybe Desmond is stuck collecting the trash while Juliet is stuck cleaning the deputy’s office. Desmond’s torn shirt that has just one button now and his trousers which completely lost the fabric in the upper side of his left leg leaving his thigh bare, Juliet’s dirty white shirt and her jeans which are luckily for her still in one piece are nothing short of their uniforms.
For Sawyer, it’s different.
The island is the only place that has never felt totally like a prison and where he’s experienced something close to freedom. Not freedom in the real sense of the world, but something close to it.
Since he wrote a letter that started with Dear Mr. Sawyer, to him the world itself had felt like a block, one cell after another, just a big damn jail. He can’t remember a place or a time in which he hadn’t felt trapped somewhat. Every place he’s been to, every relationship he had back there, everything was a different cell from which he escaped just to end up into another; everything he did, he realizes now, was in order to get his parole.
He figures out that parole was death; either him or Dear Mr. Sawyer.
Now he got it and that’s possibly why he doesn’t really regret staying, even if maybe he wouldn’t have regretted leaving either. For Sawyer, now, it’s just the same thing.
But for them, it isn’t; and Sawyer isn’t surprised when he’s the only one starting conversations during the first three days. Not that the conversations last much, anyway.
--
Desmond’s hair is longer, flying wild and scattered; his right hand twitches more often than not, a bitter laugh is everything one can talk out of him. To Sawyer, he looks the way he looked when they got him out of that boat, except that this time he isn’t drunk.
Juliet’s face doesn’t flinch and after three days she starts talking to him like a normal human being. Sawyer figures she just realized that her last hope is gone and that she’s stuck, period. She doesn’t expect anything more or less and that’s probably why she’s sort of trying to move on.
Desmond still hasn’t and Sawyer waits for a breakdown, sooner or later.
--
They walk without much of a real destination, eating whatever edible fruit they find; he and Juliet have sort of regular conversation talking about nothing and Desmond just trails along. It’s fine, though. Sawyer knows they have all the time in the world to figure any fucking thing they need now.
--
They might walk without knowing where they’re going, but at one point they end up at the caves.
There are some clothes scattered around; he finds one of Shannon’s skirts and a shirt of Jack’s which is no better than a rag. He finds Claire’s diary in a corner of one cave and he throws it away after he understands what it is.
They’ve got nowhere else to go, not for now at least. So they stay there. They choose a cave each and the first evening, the only noise is the water falling until Juliet comes in his tent late at night and kisses him.
--
Juliet isn’t really as frail as she could seem, he finds out. She kisses him like she was starving for it, her knees clasping his in a pretty strong grip, Sawyer’s tongue pushing into her mouth and touching every inch of it, her hands opening his shirt and his jeans.
He turns her over so that he’s on top and he gets her jeans down, as down as he needs, while her nails dig in his shoulders and she bites the skin near his neck.
But when he’s inside her he pushes slowly, his hands framing her face, his fingers carefully trailing along her lips and her cheeks.
She comes before him, a blissful moan escaping her lips; he doesn’t think about Kate when he comes, too.
He wonders if Desmond heard them before falling asleep next to her.
--
Juliet moves into his cave and Sawyer’s absolutely alright with it. The next day, there’s a Dharma drop and they don’t even wonder how is it possible, since hey, the island moved.
They store everything in a cave and the food issues are resolved, for a while.
Desmond is just around. He’s more silent than he’s ever been and Sawyer doesn’t really know what to do except waiting.
--
One day it rains and when it’s over Juliet stands up from his side, half naked and wearing only her shirt; she comes back and nods in the direction of the entrance.
“You should talk to him.”
“What?”
He turns and sees Desmond standing outside, soaking wet.
“Why the hell now?”
“I just think you should.”
Sawyer dresses and stands up, then leaves the cave. Desmond’s shirt lost the last button and well, it’s really nothing short than a rag. The left side of his trousers is practically destroyed.
“The fuck are you doin’ out here?”
“Just thinkin’.”, is the answer.
“You could think where it doesn’t rain.”
“I can’t think in closed spaces, brother.”
Sawyer nods. Makes sense, sort of.
“So what? Got yourself an epiphany?”
“They won’t come.”
It’s not a question and Desmond’s voice is flat.
“Guess they won’t.”, he answers, not feeling like telling a lie. He knows they won’t. Or better, they can’t.
“We moved. So they can’t.”
“Yeah. Pretty much that.”
“We’re stuck.”
Sawyer guesses that saying it is a step in the direction of realizing it. Right?
“More or less.”
Desmond nods and his shoulders shake.
“Jesus. I lost her.”
For good, Sawyer adds mentally while Desmond’s voice cracks and he starts shaking again. Sawyer guesses that he realized that he’s got a life sentence hanging on his head and can’t blame him if it took all this time to realize it.
But then he just can’t look at him like this. He doesn’t know why, he shouldn’t care, but he just can’t.
He takes off his shirt.
“Take that fucking rag off yourself, won’t you?”
“What?”
“Just do it. You wanna catch pneumonia or what?”
Desmond nods and takes the shirt off, his skin still wet, rain droplets running down his chest. Sawyer just takes Desmond by the arm, drags him into the cave and throws him the doc’s shirt in order to at least dry himself; when he’s done, he gives Desmond his shirt. It was loose on Sawyer and it looks way over sized on Desmond, but when Desmond just wraps it around his chest, Sawyer guesses it works.
Then Desmond just goes next to the entrance and sits there, his arms circling his knees, looking outside and shaking his head; Juliet, who has dressed up again meanwhile, looks at Sawyer. Sawyer meets her eyes and nods. She leaves his side and sits down next to Desmond.
Sawyer knows what’s going to happen. He could turn his head or go outside, but he doesn’t and when Juliet’s lips brush Desmond’s, when he reciprocates the kiss with some sort of quiet desperation shaking the whole of his body, when her hands go to his head and thread into his hair, when she takes him in hand and gets him off with no more than a few strokes, him laying on the ground and her body covering his, his fingers tangles in her hair, Sawyer is watching it.
He watches it all and hears all. He hears his helpless moans against her shoulder and a half sentence in which he can only understand Penny and Jesus, probably not even in that order, but he’ll be surprised if Juliet didn’t suspect it. They stay there for another while after it’s over and Sawyer doesn’t look at them and steps out of the cave. What happened before, he could watch, but now he just feels uncomfortable and he wants to see whether the Dharma drop provided them also with some clothes in the packs they didn’t check.
--
It didn’t and Desmond thankfully doesn’t get pneumonia or anything. Sawyer starts to think that one shirt for the two of them isn’t ever going to work, they’ll have to leave eventually, but for now they don’t. He doesn’t know why Desmond still keeps that blue rag carefully folded in a corner of his cave. He doesn’t ask.
For a while, it’s just Juliet with Desmond or Juliet with him.
It’s not like they share or shit like that; they’re there and she’s there and they are all there. It’s not really so strange, not at all.
Then one day Juliet says she’s going to the Barracks to see if something is still standing and leaves them there. Sawyer doesn’t object, she can take care of herself.
It rains that evening and it’s pretty chilly.
It just makes sense that Desmond comes to his cave, shirtless because it was Sawyer’s turn; it ends with Desmond’s back against the solid ground, Sawyer’s fingers trailing along the line connecting his hips, kissing which is fast and raw and almost painful when Desmond’s blood spills from his bottom lip. Then there’s Sawyer thrusting inside him, Desmond’s nails scratching his shoulders and then they come together, Desmond screaming his name and Sawyer not saying a thing, just letting his lips linger behind Desmond’s ear.
They just stay as close as possible after that because it’s always cold, there’s just one shirt and you take heat from where you can.
--
When she’s back, Juliet says there was just one house up but it was doomed to fall soon; anyway, she found clothes.
So they finally get three shirts each and they can throw Sawyer’s away, it’s really as much as a rag as the one of Jack’s they found was and as the blue one is.
That night they also have blankets, what a luxury; so it’s a bit more comfortable when his fingers are tracing random patterns around Desmond’s navel with one hand, the other one on the small of Juliet’s back while she’s kissing Desmond, as slow as Sawyer is in getting his hand further down.
They have all the time in the world, it’s just the three of them and they’re on a life sentence. Why rushing? It’s as much of a good thing as it gets, anyway. Surely better than being stranded alone and Sawyer knows he shouldn’t want it, but he does.
--
One night, Juliet is asleep between them, Sawyer’s hand draped along her hip and Desmond’s tangled in her hair; she looks ethereal, with only the moonlight bathing her skin. Desmond’s hand and his look sort of dark in comparison to the her pale skin and Sawyer can still feel Desmond’s taste in his mouth when he asks him a question that has been on his mind for a while.
“Mind if I ask you somethin’?”
“Not at all.”
“Did she tell you anythin’, the first time?”
Desmond doesn’t need to know which first time he’s referring to.
“Aye.”
“What?”
“Well, I thought I shouldn’t. Then she said we were both imprisoned here, no point in bein’ more miserable than we already are.”
“What I figured.”
“You don’t seem much troubled by that, brother.”
“I don’t think I’m imprisoned here.”, Sawyer answers earnestly, looking straight into Desmond’s eyes. Desmond just nods, though he doesn’t seem much convinced.
“So you feel free?”
Sawyer just shrugs.
“Braveheart, that really ain’t a question I can answer. Have you ever been to prison?”
“Aye.”
Sawyer is surprised at that. He didn’t expect it.
“Really?”
“Military prison. But that wasn’t the point, yeah?”
“No, that wasn’t. I was in prison, too. And when I was out, I had some people askin’ me how it felt.”
“To be free, you mean?”
“Yeah. You know what I answered ‘em?”
“What did you answer?”
“Are birds free from the chains of the skyway?”
Desmond looks at him for a second like he can’t believe such an answer.
“Brother, that’s sodding Bob Dylan.”
“And so what? It can be a song, but it’s the truth.”
Desmond doesn’t find anything to argue and nods, seemingly reflecting.
Juliet stirs from below them, turning slightly on her side. Sawyer wonders whether she’s faking and she has listened to everything they said. Then he turns just a bit more, meeting Desmond’s lips halfway, knowing that she’s going to wake up soon, expecting a familiar touch behind is neck in no time. But even if it takes longer, that’s fine.
--
It’s just the three of them, they’ve got all the time in the world and if they’re chained to this island as a bird is chained to the sky, if everything else is lost to them at least for the time being, well, they have all to gain and nothing left to lose.
End.
Title: Are Birds Free from the Chains of the Skyway?
Pairing: every possible combination of Sawyer/Juliet/Desmond
Rating: R. Probably the less detailed threesome you ever read.
Disclaimer: Sure as hell they're not mine.
Word count: around 2300
Spoilers: For Cabin Fever.
Summary: Sawyer knows that for Desmond and Juliet this island is nothing short than a prison. He understands them; he knows what it feels like.
A/N: Won third place at lostfichallenge #73, freedom. Also using for 10_shakespeare, "Can one desire too much of a good thing?". The title comes from Bob Dylan's 'Ballad in Plain D' and it's kind of relevant. The title, not the song, that is as far from this as it could get. Half written in yesterday's lectures' pauses, because I clearly can't do anything else.
The island moved and it’s just the three of them now.
They had felt it, but they really couldn’t say how it happened. Now, not only they lost that bare idea of where the island was before, but they don’t even know where on the island they are now. Juliet says she’s never been to this side of it and Desmond says he has been around less than her.
So, it’s the three of them and they’re lost. Simple as that.
--
Sawyer knows that for Desmond and Juliet this island is nothing short than a prison. He understands them; he knows what it feels like.
For the both of them it’s just a cell without bars, or maybe an enormous yard in which they have to spend an endless lock up time. He also knows that they both feel like they’ve spent three years collecting trash without taking a single step further in the chain of command. Or maybe Desmond is stuck collecting the trash while Juliet is stuck cleaning the deputy’s office. Desmond’s torn shirt that has just one button now and his trousers which completely lost the fabric in the upper side of his left leg leaving his thigh bare, Juliet’s dirty white shirt and her jeans which are luckily for her still in one piece are nothing short of their uniforms.
For Sawyer, it’s different.
The island is the only place that has never felt totally like a prison and where he’s experienced something close to freedom. Not freedom in the real sense of the world, but something close to it.
Since he wrote a letter that started with Dear Mr. Sawyer, to him the world itself had felt like a block, one cell after another, just a big damn jail. He can’t remember a place or a time in which he hadn’t felt trapped somewhat. Every place he’s been to, every relationship he had back there, everything was a different cell from which he escaped just to end up into another; everything he did, he realizes now, was in order to get his parole.
He figures out that parole was death; either him or Dear Mr. Sawyer.
Now he got it and that’s possibly why he doesn’t really regret staying, even if maybe he wouldn’t have regretted leaving either. For Sawyer, now, it’s just the same thing.
But for them, it isn’t; and Sawyer isn’t surprised when he’s the only one starting conversations during the first three days. Not that the conversations last much, anyway.
--
Desmond’s hair is longer, flying wild and scattered; his right hand twitches more often than not, a bitter laugh is everything one can talk out of him. To Sawyer, he looks the way he looked when they got him out of that boat, except that this time he isn’t drunk.
Juliet’s face doesn’t flinch and after three days she starts talking to him like a normal human being. Sawyer figures she just realized that her last hope is gone and that she’s stuck, period. She doesn’t expect anything more or less and that’s probably why she’s sort of trying to move on.
Desmond still hasn’t and Sawyer waits for a breakdown, sooner or later.
--
They walk without much of a real destination, eating whatever edible fruit they find; he and Juliet have sort of regular conversation talking about nothing and Desmond just trails along. It’s fine, though. Sawyer knows they have all the time in the world to figure any fucking thing they need now.
--
They might walk without knowing where they’re going, but at one point they end up at the caves.
There are some clothes scattered around; he finds one of Shannon’s skirts and a shirt of Jack’s which is no better than a rag. He finds Claire’s diary in a corner of one cave and he throws it away after he understands what it is.
They’ve got nowhere else to go, not for now at least. So they stay there. They choose a cave each and the first evening, the only noise is the water falling until Juliet comes in his tent late at night and kisses him.
--
Juliet isn’t really as frail as she could seem, he finds out. She kisses him like she was starving for it, her knees clasping his in a pretty strong grip, Sawyer’s tongue pushing into her mouth and touching every inch of it, her hands opening his shirt and his jeans.
He turns her over so that he’s on top and he gets her jeans down, as down as he needs, while her nails dig in his shoulders and she bites the skin near his neck.
But when he’s inside her he pushes slowly, his hands framing her face, his fingers carefully trailing along her lips and her cheeks.
She comes before him, a blissful moan escaping her lips; he doesn’t think about Kate when he comes, too.
He wonders if Desmond heard them before falling asleep next to her.
--
Juliet moves into his cave and Sawyer’s absolutely alright with it. The next day, there’s a Dharma drop and they don’t even wonder how is it possible, since hey, the island moved.
They store everything in a cave and the food issues are resolved, for a while.
Desmond is just around. He’s more silent than he’s ever been and Sawyer doesn’t really know what to do except waiting.
--
One day it rains and when it’s over Juliet stands up from his side, half naked and wearing only her shirt; she comes back and nods in the direction of the entrance.
“You should talk to him.”
“What?”
He turns and sees Desmond standing outside, soaking wet.
“Why the hell now?”
“I just think you should.”
Sawyer dresses and stands up, then leaves the cave. Desmond’s shirt lost the last button and well, it’s really nothing short than a rag. The left side of his trousers is practically destroyed.
“The fuck are you doin’ out here?”
“Just thinkin’.”, is the answer.
“You could think where it doesn’t rain.”
“I can’t think in closed spaces, brother.”
Sawyer nods. Makes sense, sort of.
“So what? Got yourself an epiphany?”
“They won’t come.”
It’s not a question and Desmond’s voice is flat.
“Guess they won’t.”, he answers, not feeling like telling a lie. He knows they won’t. Or better, they can’t.
“We moved. So they can’t.”
“Yeah. Pretty much that.”
“We’re stuck.”
Sawyer guesses that saying it is a step in the direction of realizing it. Right?
“More or less.”
Desmond nods and his shoulders shake.
“Jesus. I lost her.”
For good, Sawyer adds mentally while Desmond’s voice cracks and he starts shaking again. Sawyer guesses that he realized that he’s got a life sentence hanging on his head and can’t blame him if it took all this time to realize it.
But then he just can’t look at him like this. He doesn’t know why, he shouldn’t care, but he just can’t.
He takes off his shirt.
“Take that fucking rag off yourself, won’t you?”
“What?”
“Just do it. You wanna catch pneumonia or what?”
Desmond nods and takes the shirt off, his skin still wet, rain droplets running down his chest. Sawyer just takes Desmond by the arm, drags him into the cave and throws him the doc’s shirt in order to at least dry himself; when he’s done, he gives Desmond his shirt. It was loose on Sawyer and it looks way over sized on Desmond, but when Desmond just wraps it around his chest, Sawyer guesses it works.
Then Desmond just goes next to the entrance and sits there, his arms circling his knees, looking outside and shaking his head; Juliet, who has dressed up again meanwhile, looks at Sawyer. Sawyer meets her eyes and nods. She leaves his side and sits down next to Desmond.
Sawyer knows what’s going to happen. He could turn his head or go outside, but he doesn’t and when Juliet’s lips brush Desmond’s, when he reciprocates the kiss with some sort of quiet desperation shaking the whole of his body, when her hands go to his head and thread into his hair, when she takes him in hand and gets him off with no more than a few strokes, him laying on the ground and her body covering his, his fingers tangles in her hair, Sawyer is watching it.
He watches it all and hears all. He hears his helpless moans against her shoulder and a half sentence in which he can only understand Penny and Jesus, probably not even in that order, but he’ll be surprised if Juliet didn’t suspect it. They stay there for another while after it’s over and Sawyer doesn’t look at them and steps out of the cave. What happened before, he could watch, but now he just feels uncomfortable and he wants to see whether the Dharma drop provided them also with some clothes in the packs they didn’t check.
--
It didn’t and Desmond thankfully doesn’t get pneumonia or anything. Sawyer starts to think that one shirt for the two of them isn’t ever going to work, they’ll have to leave eventually, but for now they don’t. He doesn’t know why Desmond still keeps that blue rag carefully folded in a corner of his cave. He doesn’t ask.
For a while, it’s just Juliet with Desmond or Juliet with him.
It’s not like they share or shit like that; they’re there and she’s there and they are all there. It’s not really so strange, not at all.
Then one day Juliet says she’s going to the Barracks to see if something is still standing and leaves them there. Sawyer doesn’t object, she can take care of herself.
It rains that evening and it’s pretty chilly.
It just makes sense that Desmond comes to his cave, shirtless because it was Sawyer’s turn; it ends with Desmond’s back against the solid ground, Sawyer’s fingers trailing along the line connecting his hips, kissing which is fast and raw and almost painful when Desmond’s blood spills from his bottom lip. Then there’s Sawyer thrusting inside him, Desmond’s nails scratching his shoulders and then they come together, Desmond screaming his name and Sawyer not saying a thing, just letting his lips linger behind Desmond’s ear.
They just stay as close as possible after that because it’s always cold, there’s just one shirt and you take heat from where you can.
--
When she’s back, Juliet says there was just one house up but it was doomed to fall soon; anyway, she found clothes.
So they finally get three shirts each and they can throw Sawyer’s away, it’s really as much as a rag as the one of Jack’s they found was and as the blue one is.
That night they also have blankets, what a luxury; so it’s a bit more comfortable when his fingers are tracing random patterns around Desmond’s navel with one hand, the other one on the small of Juliet’s back while she’s kissing Desmond, as slow as Sawyer is in getting his hand further down.
They have all the time in the world, it’s just the three of them and they’re on a life sentence. Why rushing? It’s as much of a good thing as it gets, anyway. Surely better than being stranded alone and Sawyer knows he shouldn’t want it, but he does.
--
One night, Juliet is asleep between them, Sawyer’s hand draped along her hip and Desmond’s tangled in her hair; she looks ethereal, with only the moonlight bathing her skin. Desmond’s hand and his look sort of dark in comparison to the her pale skin and Sawyer can still feel Desmond’s taste in his mouth when he asks him a question that has been on his mind for a while.
“Mind if I ask you somethin’?”
“Not at all.”
“Did she tell you anythin’, the first time?”
Desmond doesn’t need to know which first time he’s referring to.
“Aye.”
“What?”
“Well, I thought I shouldn’t. Then she said we were both imprisoned here, no point in bein’ more miserable than we already are.”
“What I figured.”
“You don’t seem much troubled by that, brother.”
“I don’t think I’m imprisoned here.”, Sawyer answers earnestly, looking straight into Desmond’s eyes. Desmond just nods, though he doesn’t seem much convinced.
“So you feel free?”
Sawyer just shrugs.
“Braveheart, that really ain’t a question I can answer. Have you ever been to prison?”
“Aye.”
Sawyer is surprised at that. He didn’t expect it.
“Really?”
“Military prison. But that wasn’t the point, yeah?”
“No, that wasn’t. I was in prison, too. And when I was out, I had some people askin’ me how it felt.”
“To be free, you mean?”
“Yeah. You know what I answered ‘em?”
“What did you answer?”
“Are birds free from the chains of the skyway?”
Desmond looks at him for a second like he can’t believe such an answer.
“Brother, that’s sodding Bob Dylan.”
“And so what? It can be a song, but it’s the truth.”
Desmond doesn’t find anything to argue and nods, seemingly reflecting.
Juliet stirs from below them, turning slightly on her side. Sawyer wonders whether she’s faking and she has listened to everything they said. Then he turns just a bit more, meeting Desmond’s lips halfway, knowing that she’s going to wake up soon, expecting a familiar touch behind is neck in no time. But even if it takes longer, that’s fine.
--
It’s just the three of them, they’ve got all the time in the world and if they’re chained to this island as a bird is chained to the sky, if everything else is lost to them at least for the time being, well, they have all to gain and nothing left to lose.
End.