not saying no
Once upon a time I used to say no to most invitations.. or, if I absolutely had to agree to something I'd always have my list of excuses ready. Anxiety is a real bastard to live with but I'm now trying to meet my fears head on. I made a pact with myself a while back that I'd not say no to anything just because I was frightened or nervous and so far, I'm experiencing a whole lot more life than I ever thought possible for such a nervous little mouse. The whistle-stop visit to the Eden Project to see the Chemical Brothers was a recent high spot in my social calendar and Cornwall was just stunning. I wish I could have stayed longer than one night.
I still get scared. I still have the ridiculous and completely irrational panic but I've made the decision to deal with it when it happens and not waste my life worrying about 'what if'. I know I'm definitely not alone in feeling this way and I'm hoping that maybe one day, it'll all just go away.
Anyway, I've accepted an invitation to attend the rather posh Henley Festival this weekend, where I will be mixing with the hoi-poloi, possibly (make that definitely) feeling like an absolute fraud whilst simultaneously trying not to look like one... I have had an 'oh fuck what do I wear' moment or six and ordered a ridiculously expensive black lace cocktail dress with a nude underskirt which I'll wear (if it fits), with nude heels. I'm praying this will be dressy enough for the occasion in question and I won't need to hide in a loo until hometime.....
I still get scared. I still have the ridiculous and completely irrational panic but I've made the decision to deal with it when it happens and not waste my life worrying about 'what if'. I know I'm definitely not alone in feeling this way and I'm hoping that maybe one day, it'll all just go away.
Anyway, I've accepted an invitation to attend the rather posh Henley Festival this weekend, where I will be mixing with the hoi-poloi, possibly (make that definitely) feeling like an absolute fraud whilst simultaneously trying not to look like one... I have had an 'oh fuck what do I wear' moment or six and ordered a ridiculously expensive black lace cocktail dress with a nude underskirt which I'll wear (if it fits), with nude heels. I'm praying this will be dressy enough for the occasion in question and I won't need to hide in a loo until hometime.....