The Ugly Glasses
I believe that during my eye exam a couple of weeks ago the optomitrist performed some kind of voodoo that made my vision wonky. Because when I went downstairs and picked out my new frames I thought they were pretty good! Admittedly, there were better, but I was on a budget since we had to purchase them on the economy here and the dollar to pound ratio is not so great lately...But they were my traditional brown square frame and had some cool blue detailing that would off course show off just how modern and hip I am. So I put my order in and two weeks later I received the call letting me know I could pick them up.
I put them on and holy sweet buttercream, Batman...These are the ugliest glasses since the Cold War. I gave panicked-eyes to the lady behind the counter and she had the nerve to say "Oh yes, those are quite nice."
...All I could think was "Bitch! Don't lie! I already paid you!"
And you know what my husband said? "I didn't think any of the ones you tried on looked good, but I didn't want to say anything."
*$#))@$*&#!@!!!!!! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!
You know what they look like? They look like what the military has dubbed their issued glasses...BCG's. Do you know what BCG stands for? It's Birth Control Glasses. Do you know why they are named this? BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT GETTIN' LAID WHILE YOU'RE WEARIN' THEM.
That's all I have to say for now on the matter. Frick...And I can see so well now too. Curse you poor eyesight!!!
On a completely different note:
The Fork in the Garbage Disposal is my new dance "TINGTINGTINGTATINGTINGTATING!"...After Kiki dies things just go south, fyi.
I put them on and holy sweet buttercream, Batman...These are the ugliest glasses since the Cold War. I gave panicked-eyes to the lady behind the counter and she had the nerve to say "Oh yes, those are quite nice."
...All I could think was "Bitch! Don't lie! I already paid you!"
And you know what my husband said? "I didn't think any of the ones you tried on looked good, but I didn't want to say anything."
*$#))@$*&#!@!!!!!! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!
You know what they look like? They look like what the military has dubbed their issued glasses...BCG's. Do you know what BCG stands for? It's Birth Control Glasses. Do you know why they are named this? BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT GETTIN' LAID WHILE YOU'RE WEARIN' THEM.
That's all I have to say for now on the matter. Frick...And I can see so well now too. Curse you poor eyesight!!!
On a completely different note:
The Fork in the Garbage Disposal is my new dance "TINGTINGTINGTATINGTINGTATING!"...After Kiki dies things just go south, fyi.