"...fear might be a key indicator that you have accurately identified the thing..."
That’s when moment when fear finally strikes. There it is, right in front of you, a moment of panic really, because you realize what on earth you got yourself into.
You worked so darn hard for this. You stayed in and studied, missed games, said no to certain opportunities, gave up time with your precious cat, and worked everything to be exactly who you needed to be to make this come true.
And now, there it is, it’s real, it’s happening.
But can you do the job? Will you succeed? Will you get anything done? Can you actually change the world, or least, the community you will be a part of? You thought you were applying for a simple job, but you somehow you got the harder, way more competitive assignment…say what!? So now, there’s that fear not just that you can’t do it…that you’re not good enough.
Then it hits you, it’s a two year commitment, 27 months to be exact. You’ll be gone. You’ll miss out on birthdays, celebrations, weddings, games with your friends, and just time will your loved ones. Will they miss you? Do they even care? What will you be missing out on? But….isn’t that exactly what you wanted?
You read the safety manual, well, does that scare you or what? You have to be both prepared and alert, and so many things can happen. Well, so many things can happen in the States too, right?
You’ve handled 1-6 weeks trips without the comforts of home, without the modern technologies you’re accustomed….but this is now 27 months, this is a whole other ballpark….
Random….but I just realized what that saying is referring to, all ballparks are constructed different. Some are pitchers ballparks, some are batters ballparks, some have really large foul grounds, some have weird hazards (that hill at Minute Maid Park anyone), and some have weird crevices where a ball can get easily stuck…and let’s not talk about the ivy at Wrigley! The point is, no two ballparks are alike. I never paid too must attention into that saying until this very moment.
And I guess that’s the point, you still play baseball there, right? You still need 8 position players and a pitcher. Sometimes you have a designated hitter, sometimes the pitcher bats, but at the end of the day, baseball gets played, but you adjust to these things. But, you always go home, right?
OK, that was a really weird tangent, but in a deep, poetic way, my love of baseball fits right in, at least, I want it to fit that way. Or maybe, just maybe, God planned that love of baseball in me so many years ago, knowing that 20-some years later I would speeding 27 months at a place that lives and breathes baseball!
Yes, I’m panicking right now, but in a way, I think it’s good. A few years ago I read a great book by Dr. Dave Martin. A quote that stood out to me read “If you are truly afraid of failing at something, then the presence of that fear might be a key indicator that you have accurately identified the thing you really need to be doing with your life.” I read that book for years ago and that quote stood out to me, and now it makes perfect sense.
Yes, excitement has turned to fear, it has turned to panic, but if it didn’t, when why would I have gone through all this? Why would I have done homework in the most random places? Why would I have arranged my schedule in such a way to have the proper day off to teach a class? Why do any of that if you didn’t care enough to panic just a little?
It’s here, and it’s so stinking real that it’s scary now, and that’s a good thing!
Now back to the mountain of paperwork I have to complete.
#JPTangent
You worked so darn hard for this. You stayed in and studied, missed games, said no to certain opportunities, gave up time with your precious cat, and worked everything to be exactly who you needed to be to make this come true.
And now, there it is, it’s real, it’s happening.
But can you do the job? Will you succeed? Will you get anything done? Can you actually change the world, or least, the community you will be a part of? You thought you were applying for a simple job, but you somehow you got the harder, way more competitive assignment…say what!? So now, there’s that fear not just that you can’t do it…that you’re not good enough.
Then it hits you, it’s a two year commitment, 27 months to be exact. You’ll be gone. You’ll miss out on birthdays, celebrations, weddings, games with your friends, and just time will your loved ones. Will they miss you? Do they even care? What will you be missing out on? But….isn’t that exactly what you wanted?
You read the safety manual, well, does that scare you or what? You have to be both prepared and alert, and so many things can happen. Well, so many things can happen in the States too, right?
You’ve handled 1-6 weeks trips without the comforts of home, without the modern technologies you’re accustomed….but this is now 27 months, this is a whole other ballpark….
Random….but I just realized what that saying is referring to, all ballparks are constructed different. Some are pitchers ballparks, some are batters ballparks, some have really large foul grounds, some have weird hazards (that hill at Minute Maid Park anyone), and some have weird crevices where a ball can get easily stuck…and let’s not talk about the ivy at Wrigley! The point is, no two ballparks are alike. I never paid too must attention into that saying until this very moment.
And I guess that’s the point, you still play baseball there, right? You still need 8 position players and a pitcher. Sometimes you have a designated hitter, sometimes the pitcher bats, but at the end of the day, baseball gets played, but you adjust to these things. But, you always go home, right?
OK, that was a really weird tangent, but in a deep, poetic way, my love of baseball fits right in, at least, I want it to fit that way. Or maybe, just maybe, God planned that love of baseball in me so many years ago, knowing that 20-some years later I would speeding 27 months at a place that lives and breathes baseball!
Yes, I’m panicking right now, but in a way, I think it’s good. A few years ago I read a great book by Dr. Dave Martin. A quote that stood out to me read “If you are truly afraid of failing at something, then the presence of that fear might be a key indicator that you have accurately identified the thing you really need to be doing with your life.” I read that book for years ago and that quote stood out to me, and now it makes perfect sense.
Yes, excitement has turned to fear, it has turned to panic, but if it didn’t, when why would I have gone through all this? Why would I have done homework in the most random places? Why would I have arranged my schedule in such a way to have the proper day off to teach a class? Why do any of that if you didn’t care enough to panic just a little?
It’s here, and it’s so stinking real that it’s scary now, and that’s a good thing!
Now back to the mountain of paperwork I have to complete.
#JPTangent