okay...catch up time real fast.
the other day, some chick commented in my journal telling me to apply to some stupid community. so, i was bored and it was late and i did. i didn't really care if i got in or not. all i asked was that if the people were gonna say no, they be at least civil with it. of course, they were not. they were complete dicks.
i have gotten to the point where i think rating communities are fucking lame, except for the one that dustin and i run. this is somewhat hypocritical except for the fact that ours truly is not like others. every one of those communities has a stipulation in their rules section saying that members are not to be mean. yet, they are always mean. and the moderators do nothing to sway this. in nonuglysass, we are not mean. we say no without being mean. and when we reject someone, we even offer them pointers on how they might do better next time. we are nice about it, something other communities only claim to be.
i am disgusted with that community. i am really glad that i was so busy on my birthday, when the voting and asshole jamboree occurred, because that way i only saw it today and it didn't have an effect on my birthday. i guess it wouldn't bother me so much if i hadn't simply asked only that they not be mean and then they were. also, i do not like that these other communities go to random journals and tell them to apply merely to get action. that is lame.
anyway, i broke my niceness pattern of today by responding to the assholes with not so nice remarks and asking the moderator just why she even asked me to apply.
-----------------------------------------------
but back to my niceness pattern...
i gave out a million christmas cards to everyone in the cast today. there were some people who i do not think got any cards, and it made me really happy to see them happy. most of the people in the cast are just so nice. there are some that are like family to me. eight years in a show will do that to you. i do not just give out cards that say love angel, either. i write a lengthy personalized note in each card. i filled out over a hundred today for the cast. it's actually kind of selfish really. because it makes me feel good to make people happy. it really does.
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my birthday was nice. i am still sick, which wasn't cool, but still. it really just made my stomach ache a bit and me tired, with a bit of asthma trouble thrown in. nothing i am not used to. so, i was napping on the couch when my aunt called to sing and wish me a happy birthday, immediately followed by my mom doing the same. opening night was really good. mark has been being nice to me lately, which is a bit odd. maybe he realized what an ass he was. after the show, we all headed over to ron's and had some drinks- i with my trusted cream soda of course. and lenny and i teased each other. two college boys flirted with me. lenny teased me about my hat because i think he wants one. a lot of people told me that only i could pull it off. i looked really pretty because i have figured out that curls suit me. this year, i have done real curls to my hair since it is long enough. the effect after i take the bun out of soft curls is really lovely. plus, my sassy little hat looks nice on them. it was a really good evening. the horrible snow even waited until my birthday was over to assault me. harriet got me a big tin of popcorn- with angels on it of course. she is such a lovely lady. i told her i want to live in her kitchen. everyone was really nice to me on my birthday- except tara but she is mean to everyone all the time.
------------------------------------------------
on to tonight and part of the reason i was just really in no mood for those people.
it snowed really bad. so, it was scary going to rehearsal. the show went really well. the cast party was really enjoyable, though i was only able to scrape less than a handful of Harriet's cheesy potatoes for myself. i saw sara and she said little truman is coming tomorrow and will be happy to see me. everything was nice, except for this odd has to be nearly thirty at least man from my party scene asked me out and i said maybe sometime because i feel bad saying no. i do not know what to do about that. i am not good at rejecting people but he is odd and way too old.
then we headed home...
the roads were okay as we headed on, but then we hit a really slick spot and the wind was horrible. the truck was sliding all over the road. then it spun in a circle three times and hit the embankment, stopping about three feet from a sign. yeah, not good. i had to use my inhaler. then, when we got the truck to start and slowly started home (it was too dark to assess damage properly, but we think we might have lucked out.) we get about a mile down the road and a deer nearly goes across. ernie honked and it ran away, i utterred obscenities. we then finally made it home carefully.
====================================================
onto the biggest reason i am upset today. my sister and kris stopped by and gave me a really pretty purse and a gorgeous bustier for my birthday. so i am talking to my sister and she warns me that my cousin cheryl has been talking to joey and gave him all my info and schedule. i am really fucking scared. he still stalks me and he didn't know my new info and schedule and i liked that because i felt safer. cheryl broke my trust and i am hurt. joey is not stable, nor are his family. he told lauren that he will never get over me. his sister went off on her thinking she was jetty and told her that she broke up the "love" me and joey felt for eachother because she was jealous. jetty and kris told him to stay away from me and never speak about me again. and he refuses. a lot of people in my family didn't take me seriously about him stalking me before but now are. i am scared. i do not feel safe. he knows everything about me now. i have nowhere to hide from him. cheryl told him everything. all because she likes him. he shouldn't be talking to her anyway, she is 14 and he is 21. i think i may need to get a restraining order, though i am worried that even that won't make him leave me alone or make me feel safe. i am so scared and i am so hurt. and i am also so angry. i can't even fully explain how bad he is and scary and how in danger i really feel now. and what can i do??
==================================================================
<3
Kirch
i have gotten to the point where i think rating communities are fucking lame, except for the one that dustin and i run. this is somewhat hypocritical except for the fact that ours truly is not like others. every one of those communities has a stipulation in their rules section saying that members are not to be mean. yet, they are always mean. and the moderators do nothing to sway this. in nonuglysass, we are not mean. we say no without being mean. and when we reject someone, we even offer them pointers on how they might do better next time. we are nice about it, something other communities only claim to be.
i am disgusted with that community. i am really glad that i was so busy on my birthday, when the voting and asshole jamboree occurred, because that way i only saw it today and it didn't have an effect on my birthday. i guess it wouldn't bother me so much if i hadn't simply asked only that they not be mean and then they were. also, i do not like that these other communities go to random journals and tell them to apply merely to get action. that is lame.
anyway, i broke my niceness pattern of today by responding to the assholes with not so nice remarks and asking the moderator just why she even asked me to apply.
-----------------------------------------------
but back to my niceness pattern...
i gave out a million christmas cards to everyone in the cast today. there were some people who i do not think got any cards, and it made me really happy to see them happy. most of the people in the cast are just so nice. there are some that are like family to me. eight years in a show will do that to you. i do not just give out cards that say love angel, either. i write a lengthy personalized note in each card. i filled out over a hundred today for the cast. it's actually kind of selfish really. because it makes me feel good to make people happy. it really does.
-----------------------------------------------
my birthday was nice. i am still sick, which wasn't cool, but still. it really just made my stomach ache a bit and me tired, with a bit of asthma trouble thrown in. nothing i am not used to. so, i was napping on the couch when my aunt called to sing and wish me a happy birthday, immediately followed by my mom doing the same. opening night was really good. mark has been being nice to me lately, which is a bit odd. maybe he realized what an ass he was. after the show, we all headed over to ron's and had some drinks- i with my trusted cream soda of course. and lenny and i teased each other. two college boys flirted with me. lenny teased me about my hat because i think he wants one. a lot of people told me that only i could pull it off. i looked really pretty because i have figured out that curls suit me. this year, i have done real curls to my hair since it is long enough. the effect after i take the bun out of soft curls is really lovely. plus, my sassy little hat looks nice on them. it was a really good evening. the horrible snow even waited until my birthday was over to assault me. harriet got me a big tin of popcorn- with angels on it of course. she is such a lovely lady. i told her i want to live in her kitchen. everyone was really nice to me on my birthday- except tara but she is mean to everyone all the time.
------------------------------------------------
on to tonight and part of the reason i was just really in no mood for those people.
it snowed really bad. so, it was scary going to rehearsal. the show went really well. the cast party was really enjoyable, though i was only able to scrape less than a handful of Harriet's cheesy potatoes for myself. i saw sara and she said little truman is coming tomorrow and will be happy to see me. everything was nice, except for this odd has to be nearly thirty at least man from my party scene asked me out and i said maybe sometime because i feel bad saying no. i do not know what to do about that. i am not good at rejecting people but he is odd and way too old.
then we headed home...
the roads were okay as we headed on, but then we hit a really slick spot and the wind was horrible. the truck was sliding all over the road. then it spun in a circle three times and hit the embankment, stopping about three feet from a sign. yeah, not good. i had to use my inhaler. then, when we got the truck to start and slowly started home (it was too dark to assess damage properly, but we think we might have lucked out.) we get about a mile down the road and a deer nearly goes across. ernie honked and it ran away, i utterred obscenities. we then finally made it home carefully.
====================================================
onto the biggest reason i am upset today. my sister and kris stopped by and gave me a really pretty purse and a gorgeous bustier for my birthday. so i am talking to my sister and she warns me that my cousin cheryl has been talking to joey and gave him all my info and schedule. i am really fucking scared. he still stalks me and he didn't know my new info and schedule and i liked that because i felt safer. cheryl broke my trust and i am hurt. joey is not stable, nor are his family. he told lauren that he will never get over me. his sister went off on her thinking she was jetty and told her that she broke up the "love" me and joey felt for eachother because she was jealous. jetty and kris told him to stay away from me and never speak about me again. and he refuses. a lot of people in my family didn't take me seriously about him stalking me before but now are. i am scared. i do not feel safe. he knows everything about me now. i have nowhere to hide from him. cheryl told him everything. all because she likes him. he shouldn't be talking to her anyway, she is 14 and he is 21. i think i may need to get a restraining order, though i am worried that even that won't make him leave me alone or make me feel safe. i am so scared and i am so hurt. and i am also so angry. i can't even fully explain how bad he is and scary and how in danger i really feel now. and what can i do??
==================================================================
<3
Kirch