(no subject)
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So, it's come upon me recently to move to Methuen. While I itch to get out and have control over my own living space, I'm hesitant in regards to this being the right choice for me. Now more than ever, I'm at that point where I really need to cease my procrastination and start making bigger decisions, but I get scared and don't think about it until later, where I freak myself out again and repeat the cycle.
If I go, there a few major concerns. One being if I choose to commit to a lease, that I won't be able to leave for school once/if that happens. I had hopes of going to a legitimate school for special effects makeup in either Pennsylvania or Los Angeles, but there's a few selection in classes around the area too. I was also debating getting into cosmetology, but that is a broader aspect of the subject I am truly interested in and would prefer to drive all my focus into what is really relevant to those interests. Either way, if I take the real school route, I'd be bound by the lease and might have to wait longer than I'd like to. Online classes is an option, if it does boil down to that. The bottom line of this concern however, is I must pick between housing or school.
My second concern is keeping in touch with my friends. I already have a somewhat difficult time doing that, and moving nearly an hour away from everyone is going to put some serious distance in. On the other hand, I'm consistently telling myself I need to make new friends, I need to get out more, etc. It's a peculiar web of connection, my current social life, and sometimes it makes me wish I could just start over. This would provide an excellent new opportunity to do so, but I know the people I actually want to see I will seldom meet with. I do hope though, that with new living space, I would have more room for my pets so I wouldn't have to house them so cramped in my room.
One pro in this situation is the possibility of a new job, and while the thought of working in itself aggravates me enough, at least maybe I can do something other than what I'm doing now. I feel trapped, bored, complacent, and utterly useless where I'm standing now. I wear the same shit nearly everyday, and while I buy pretty clothes because I love them, they just waste away in my closet and dressers because I'm stuck wearing a blue shirt and black pants. Ick ick ick ick ickkkk. I hardly make decent wages, either. I get embarrassed telling people where I work. I know it's normal for someone of my age to be working a shit retail job, but I feel like I've gotten nowhere and most people my age have at least taken steps in the right direction. Though now I must decide if it's makeup or environmental science I really want to pursue, because I love doing both glamour and horror effects yet I love helping animals.
All in all I am just not sure where to focus my time, energy, and finances. It seems easier to continue my current path but it is also the most depressing and I'm very ready for a change. Here's to hoping for the best..
So, it's come upon me recently to move to Methuen. While I itch to get out and have control over my own living space, I'm hesitant in regards to this being the right choice for me. Now more than ever, I'm at that point where I really need to cease my procrastination and start making bigger decisions, but I get scared and don't think about it until later, where I freak myself out again and repeat the cycle.
If I go, there a few major concerns. One being if I choose to commit to a lease, that I won't be able to leave for school once/if that happens. I had hopes of going to a legitimate school for special effects makeup in either Pennsylvania or Los Angeles, but there's a few selection in classes around the area too. I was also debating getting into cosmetology, but that is a broader aspect of the subject I am truly interested in and would prefer to drive all my focus into what is really relevant to those interests. Either way, if I take the real school route, I'd be bound by the lease and might have to wait longer than I'd like to. Online classes is an option, if it does boil down to that. The bottom line of this concern however, is I must pick between housing or school.
My second concern is keeping in touch with my friends. I already have a somewhat difficult time doing that, and moving nearly an hour away from everyone is going to put some serious distance in. On the other hand, I'm consistently telling myself I need to make new friends, I need to get out more, etc. It's a peculiar web of connection, my current social life, and sometimes it makes me wish I could just start over. This would provide an excellent new opportunity to do so, but I know the people I actually want to see I will seldom meet with. I do hope though, that with new living space, I would have more room for my pets so I wouldn't have to house them so cramped in my room.
One pro in this situation is the possibility of a new job, and while the thought of working in itself aggravates me enough, at least maybe I can do something other than what I'm doing now. I feel trapped, bored, complacent, and utterly useless where I'm standing now. I wear the same shit nearly everyday, and while I buy pretty clothes because I love them, they just waste away in my closet and dressers because I'm stuck wearing a blue shirt and black pants. Ick ick ick ick ickkkk. I hardly make decent wages, either. I get embarrassed telling people where I work. I know it's normal for someone of my age to be working a shit retail job, but I feel like I've gotten nowhere and most people my age have at least taken steps in the right direction. Though now I must decide if it's makeup or environmental science I really want to pursue, because I love doing both glamour and horror effects yet I love helping animals.
All in all I am just not sure where to focus my time, energy, and finances. It seems easier to continue my current path but it is also the most depressing and I'm very ready for a change. Here's to hoping for the best..