(no subject)

[janet1867]

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October 1 - 6, 1867

But it wouldn't be soon. The next few days were a whirlwind of
activity for the little frontier town. The circuit judge arrived, and
Holly Huston had her custody hearing. Everyone was stunned
to learn that Holly wasn't the children's mother, and almost
everyone was stunned to hear that Jason wasn't the father.
Karen was pleased; Stempel was resigned ('I'll get 'im next time.')

It was the worst possible week for Jonathon, because Thorn,
Melody, and Laurel left. Holly and the kids packed up and
moved to Ohio, hitching a ride with the judge. Nothing could
console Jonny, and he moped around the dorm for days.
Aaron offered to help him finish the fort, to no avail. So Karen
and Jonathon spent Saturday in the dorm, and Sunday was the
same.

Until... Clancey's ship arrived at lunchtime on Sunday, bringing a
passenger: Tommy Blake, Polly's son. While the adults got all in
a stew over the implications of this news, Jonny enjoyed the
plain and simple fact: another boy had moved to Seattle!
Tommy was ten, and he knew how to build a fort. They started
working on it that same day.

Meanwhile, Jason called a town meeting for that night. Karen
didn't think she'd be able to go until one of the brides, who
had a cold, said Jonathon could stay back in the dorm with her.
Karen put him to bed and made sure he was fast asleep before
she left. It was dark and quiet in the square, so Karen was
unprepared for the noise, when she slipped into the church and
found a seat at the back. The meeting was in full swing; Jason
was at the podium, and Aaron was standing in the midst of the
crowd, speaking. He had his back to the door when she came
in.

" - And I say," Aaron was saying vehemently, "an unspoken truth
is still a lie. And any lie - any lie - is a breach of Miss - Mrs.
Blake's contract."

Jason defended Polly Blake, saying, "That contract didn't say,
'Come to Seattle and bare your soul. Tell us all your secrets and
all your mistakes, so we can punish you and shame you.' No,
we said to these fine girls, 'Come with us - and trust. Come with
us - and hope. Come with us - and count on tomorrow. A new
life, where you can forget the pain and sorrow of the old one.' A
previous marriage doesn't make Polly Blake any less
respectable than the other girls."

This brought a lot of responses from the crowd, all agreeing with
Jason. Karen thought he was being a bit flowery in his speech,
but she agreed with him, too.

Stempel responded, "There isn't a man here who's any more
anxious than I am to have Mrs. Blake stay... But let's not forget
one important question: is - she - marriageable?" When Jason
said, "Yes!", and Jeremy said, "Sure!", Aaron turned on them and
asked, "Would you marry her? Would you?" Jason said he
would, if he loved her and she loved him, and Stempel laughed.

Karen watched Aaron very closely, struck by how different he
seemed from the man she'd been getting to know. He seemed
to be enjoying the arguing and the tension. She thought of Lottie
saying that even though she wanted to "horsewhip" him
sometimes, he was a good man, at heart. That summed him up
so well. Karen was glad that she'd seen the vulnerable, even
gentle, side of him; she believed that that was the "real Aaron".

She realized with a start that Aaron was still speaking: "There
isn't a man in this room who can stand up and honestly say he
wouldn't prefer an innocent, single girl to a widow with a child.
Or maybe I'm wrong. Is there a man in this room who, if he had
the choice, would take on a ready-made family? If he had the
choice? No. So, if Mrs. Blake has no chance of marriage, she
could hardly be considered marriageable. Now, could she?"

Karen was turned to stone by that question. It kept ringing in her
ears, over and over: 'Is there a man in this room, who, if he had
the choice, would take on a ready-made family? If he had the
choice? No.' Dimly, she was aware that Polly and the Reverend
announced their engagement, and that everyone rushed out into
the square, but she couldn't move. 'A ready-made family. If he
had the choice. No.' One of the last people to leave the
church was Aaron. He looked surprised to see her sitting there
in the back row. She tried to give him a normal glance, but
probably failed miserably. 'Take on a ready-made family... No.'
He passed her, looking serious.

Jason, on Aaron's heels, saw the exchange between the two,
and once outside, he made an excuse to Joshua, who was
waiting for him, and went back into the church. Karen was on
her way out, and they stepped out onto the small porch
together. It was dark out here; Karen felt more comfortable
having her expression disguised by the darkness. The big logger
looked down kindly on the young woman. He felt a paternal
concern for all his brides, although he was only about ten years
older than most of them.

"Karen," he said quietly, questioningly, trying to get her to make
eye contact. "Ka-ren," he said softly, coaxing her with his tone,
willing her to look at him and answer. When she finally returned
his gaze, he continued, voice full of sincerity, "Tell me what's
wrong."

Karen mustered up her best poker face. Jason's gentle voice
and caring face were going to be her undoing, if she didn't get a
grip on her feelings. She hated losing control in front of people,
and this man's kindness was the most likely thing to make it
happen. "Nothing, I'm fine," she answered, trying to start walking
to the stairs to put some distance between herself and this far
too perceptive man.

"Now, Karen," he said, stepping in front of her, so she couldn't go
down the stairs, "don't try to get away from me. I know
something is wrong, and I'm not going to rest until you tell me."

"Jason, I just don't want to talk about it," she protested, wanting
desperately to escape.

He put his hands on her shoulders, and said, "Please - let me
help."

Well, that did it. Karen tried to hold onto her self-control, but two
tears flowed down her cheeks. Jason, who still had his hands
on her shoulders, pulled her gently, and hugged her. She leaned
against his shoulder for a second, then stepped back. If she
started leaning on this man, she might never be able to stop.
Jason studied her expression intently.

"It's nothing for you to worry about, Jason. It's just dumb. I let
myself start to care about someone and I just found out that he
couldn't ever think of me in that way. I knew he didn't, already,
but - it was just hard to hear that it could never happen. I had - I
guess - unrealistic hopes that maybe, someday, but - oh, it's just
so stupid."

Jason could feel that mother-bear-protecting-her-young roar start
to build up in his chest. "Who is he?" he demanded, indignation
barely under control. "If one of my men has been leading you on
- "

"No, no," Karen rushed to reassure him, "it's not one of your
loggers. It's nothing to do with you. I'll be fine, Jason - I just felt
upset for a second. It's nothing."

Jason deflated. "Not one of my men?" He was relieved, but
mystified. Who could it be, that was having such an effect on
this girl? On the long voyage from New Bedford, Karen had
seemed to him like the sensible one. She was also one of only
a handful out of the hundred who hadn't targeted any of the Bolt
brothers during that voyage; almost all the rest, at one time or
another, had been charmed by Josh, drawn to Jeremy, or flirted
with himself. Karen had acted more like a sister, he thought. If
anything, his concern about her had been that she wouldn't find
someone in Seattle that she could fall in love with, not that she'd
develop too strong of an attachment so soon.

"Who is it, Karen? Maybe I can help."

"You can't, Jason, it's hopeless."

A lightning bolt hit Jason. "Karen, it isn't - you're not in love with
the Reverend, are you?"

Karen laughed. "No!" Jason breathed a large sigh of relief. She
continued, "Forget it - it's nothing, really."

But he could tell that it wasn't nothing. He put his arm around
her shoulders and bent his head down closer to her. "Tell me
who it is." He was using his very best persuasive tone - the one
that never failed. She shook her head. "Tell me," he insisted.

Very quietly, she answered, "Aaron."

"Aaron?" Jason managed to keep himself from sounding as
shocked as he felt. He gave the girl a brotherly squeeze with the
arm that was still around her shoulder. When had this
happened? Then he thought of how many times he'd seen
Aaron talking or riding with Karen and her little brother.
Scrambling - almost, but not quite, at a loss for words - he tried,
"Well, now, he - uh, he talked to you about his feelings tonight,
before the meeting, did he?"

"No, it's what he said during the meeting - that he would never
take on a ready-made family, if he had a choice."

Jason remembered the heated debate over Polly's
marriageability, instantly saw the obvious comparison with
Karen's situation, and, light dawning, breathed, "Ohhh..." Lord,
this girl was in for trouble, if she was in love with Aaron Stempel.
How in Heaven was he going to solve this?

"Now, don't worry," he told her, exuding (false) confidence,
"everything will turn out alright. You'll see."

"No, I don't want you to even think about it again, Jason. I was
just being stupid. He was very kind to Jonny, and to me... but
I've learned my lesson. I'm going to start being more sensible.
That's how you could help: steer me in the direction of a nice
logger or two. Okay?" Jason admired the bluff; it was a good
attempt, but he was the master, and could tell a smoke screen a
mile away. He pretended to believe her, but he wasn't going to
give up on this. Aaron was lucky to have a girl like this care
about him. Jason thought ruefully of Mary Jane, Franny, and
Sally, who had been pursuing him for the last few days.

Jason and the girl smiled at each other and finally went down the
steps and across the square to the dorm. Karen knew she
hadn't solved anything, but Jason's kindness had helped her to
believe she could still make a life for herself in this town. Even if
she never married, she had already found friends here who
made her feel she'd found a new family.

Karen turned after she stepped up onto the dorm porch, and
said warmly, "Thank you, Jason. I'm sorry I made a big deal out
of nothing. I don't want you to give it another thought."

"I won't. Goodnight, Karen." Jason smiled at her with his
beautiful smile. On impulse, he quickly bent and kissed her
cheek. She smiled back at him, turned, and went inside.

It was good to have one bride he could be as comfortable with
as he was with Lottie, Jason thought. Lottie. She'd know what
to do about Aaron. He strode purposefully across the square
and into the saloon.

Neither Jason nor Karen had been aware that they were being
observed throughout their brief but emotional conversation. As
Jason went into Lottie's saloon, a dark, tall figure emerged from
the shadows on the dock. Stempel had gone to the water to try
to shake off the strange feeling he'd been struck by when Karen
had looked at him as he left the church. She'd looked at him as
if he were a stranger. He hadn't realized she was at the meeting,
and seeing her as he left had brought him suddenly back down
to Earth. He always got so wound up when the energy surge of
a possible business coup grabbed him, and he usually enjoyed
the feeling. Sometimes Lottie told him afterwards that he'd gone
too far, but he rarely admitted it to himself. Maybe, occasionally,
late at night, alone in his house... Tonight he had gone too far;
he'd seen it in Karen's eyes. Moments after walking to the dock
and staring out into the blackness, he'd turned, thinking he would
find her and talk to her about it. He'd taken a few steps across
the dock in the direction of the dorm before he'd noticed
Jason standing at the top of the church steps with a woman.
Taking a second look, he'd realized that the woman was Karen
St. James. Aaron had hesitated, not sure whether to walk over
to them or not; then, suddenly, he'd seen them embrace. They'd
stepped apart, spoken, then Bolt had put his arm around her.
They'd talked for a few minutes, then smiled at each other, and
strolled over to the dorm. Stempel had felt rooted to the spot as
he'd watched them say goodnight. The next moment, he'd felt
like he'd been punched, when he'd seen Bolt lean over and kiss
her.

A moment later, Bolt had gone into the saloon, and Karen had
disappeared into the dorm. Unseen, Aaron Stempel made his
way home.

When Jason came into the saloon, only Lottie, Joshua, and
Jeremy were still there. They all made joking comments to him
about finally showing up, to which he gave a slight smile, and
then got right to the point. "A problem came up. Josh, Jeremy,
you go back up to camp - I'll join you there later. I want to talk to
Lottie."

With their usual token protests and questions, his younger
brothers took themselves off to the logging camp in short order,
and Jason turned to Lottie, who was still sitting at the table near
the bar. She raised an eyebrow at him, lifting a bottle quizzically.
He nodded and she poured a drink for each of them as he sat
down beside her.

"You said there's a problem, Jason?" Lottie gave him a
we've-had-this- conversation-a-million-times look. "Is it serious?"
Jason put his elbow on the table and rested his chin on his hand.

He looked at Lottie with a serious expression, but a twinkle in his
eye. "Come on," she prodded. "Don't keep me in suspense."

"Well," he announced, giving it his best dramatic flair, "I think
Karen St. James is in love with Aaron Stempel."

A mixture of emotions flashed on Lottie's face, and honest
happiness was the final one. "I thought so," she grinned,
pleased.

Jason was taken by surprise. "You knew about this?"

"No, but I'd suspected. Karen talked to me weeks ago: Biddie'd
been filling her head with some nonsense about Aaron being the
embodiment of evil - " Catching Jason's amused glance, she
said indignantly, "He is not!"

"Ah, Lottie, you're beautiful when you're being maternal. That
black sheep has always been your favourite. Now, go on, admit
it."

Lottie looked as if she didn't know whether to respond seriously
or acknowledge that he was joking, so she did both. "Well, he
needs me a lot more than a spoiled brat like you does."

"But you love us equally, though, don't you, Lottie?" he cajoled,
smiling angelically.

"Oh, don't give me that choir boy smile, Jason Bolt. You know
perfectly well how I feel about you. Anyway, when Karen talked
to me, I had the distinct impression she was on the verge."

Jason raised his eyebrows. "The verge?"

"Of loving him. And now she's told you she does? But why is
that a problem?"

"Well, no, she didn't say it in so many words. But she was very
upset by what he said at that town meeting tonight."

Lottie looked confused, trying to remember what had been said.
"At the meeting? But what - " As she remembered, she inhaled
sharply. "Oh, that no man wants a ready-made family, given a
choice."

Jason nodded, serious now. "And Aaron, as Karen is well
aware, has ninety-nine other choices."

"But he didn't mean her - I'm sure he didn't. He was just - " She
paused to think of how to phrase it.

" - In full Aaron steam," Jason finished for her. "He doesn't
always weigh his words very carefully at those moments."

"So, now - what?" Lottie asked.

"Well, Lottie, that's why I rushed over to see you. I needed the
woman with the answers."

Lottie looked at him seriously. "I don't think I have any. Is Karen
thinking of leaving Seattle?"

Jason thought about it. "I think she plans to stay - for now."

Lottie stood up with a closing-time air. "Well, that's something,
anyway." She put the bottle and the glasses on the bar. "I'll talk
to her tomorrow, and keep an eye on her. You should be getting
back to camp; it's late."

Jason's brothers would have been amazed to see how
obediently he stood up and walked to the door. He opened it,
and started to walk through, then turned and leaned back into
the room. He looked both concerned and hopeful as he asked
quietly, "Lottie, do you think Aaron..." He trailed off.

" - Has feelings for her? I don't know, Jason. I think we should
try to find out - but not by stomping into his private life and
demanding answers. We have to be subtle."

"Subtle, Lottie," said Jason with an angelic smile, "is my middle
name."

There wasn't anything Aaron Stempel hated more than delving
into his feelings and examining his inner self. He'd once met a
doctor in San Francisco whose theory it was that everyone could
solve their problems by scrutinizing their innermost emotions.
Nonsense. It was self-indulgent, and a waste of time. If
something was bothering him, he had the cure for that: work,
plain and simple. If anyone had suggested to him that his
disdain for introspection was because he was afraid to face his
feelings and his troubled past, Stempel would have called that
mumbo-jumbo, or accused the speaker of being out of his mind.
But no matter how much he tried to be unaware of what was
going on in the back of his mind, those thoughts and feelings
sometimes pushed forward and took over. This was one of
those times. He sat at his kitchen table, in his modern house
with all the latest luxuries, and stared at his glass of whiskey by
the dim light of a lantern turned down low. It was already
midnight, but he wasn't likely to get any sleep for hours yet.

Seeing Bolt with Karen St. James had shaken him badly.
Thoughts and phrases swirled around and around in his head.
'It's not like I have any claim on the girl... She can go sparkin'
with anybody she wants... Bolt - why do they all flock around
Bolt? ...Thought she was different... Well, what did I expect?
That a girl like that, a proper, respectable, good girl, would want
to take on someone like me? ...A mean streak a mile wide, that's
what Aunt Pearl always said, since I was ten. And she was right.
She was right. Nobody could feel - ' He stopped short, couldn't
use the word "love", even in his thoughts. ' - Nobody could feel -
anything - for a mean-spirited boy - or man - like that.

'I was startin' to hope that, eventually... It's better this way... nip
it in the bud... It never fails, when I try to mix in, open up, it
doesn't work. ...Doesn't pay to get attached to people. They
end up gone, or dead... I was right before: don't get close to
people. Keep to yourself. That's the safest thing.' He thought
guiltily of Jonathon St. James' feelings. Maybe he could
apologize to Karen and they could... But then he realized the
child had Bolt, now, too. He'd be better off.

Aaron stood up, full of resolve to silence these thoughts. He
picked up his glass, swallowed his drink, and poured another.
Taking his drink with him, he trudged into his bedroom.

October 7, 1867

The men at Stempel's Mill were ready to revolt. The old man
had been working them like slaves all day, snapping at
everyone. He'd arrived early this morning, looking hung over,
and they'd all been paying for his headache ever since.

Finally, it was quitting time. The men all filed out past the mill
office as inconspicuously as possible, trying not to attract the
attention of their boss, who now sat scowling over his account
books. One of them passed near the mill close to midnight on
his way home from visiting his girl at the dorm, and saw the
office light still on.

'Great,' he thought, 'tomorrow the old man'll be tired and ornery -
just what we need.'

Lottie hadn't had a chance to talk to Karen all day to see for
herself how she was reacting to Aaron's remarks from last night.
Karen had been at the school with her brother all morning, as
well as supervising the students during their lunch hour, and then
Lottie had had to open the saloon, and had been rushed off her
feet ever since. About eight o'clock, Jason showed up, and she
immediately nabbed him and deputized him to tend bar for half
an hour. Thank goodness he'd come into town tonight; with her
regular bartender off sick, she'd been beginning to think she'd
have to leave Clancey in charge. She didn't know which would
have cost her the most money - closing the saloon for half an
hour, or leaving Clancey unsupervised in the bar for that long.
She hurried across the square before Jason could think of a witty
reply to her sudden order to him to take over, and found Karen
in the dorm. Karen was surprised to see her. "But - aren't you
working?"

"I'm taking a break, dear. Come outside with me for a minute,
will you?" The two went out onto the porch, and Lottie wasted
no time in coming straight to the point. "Jason told me about last
night, and I wanted to see for myself how you are."

"Oh, Lottie, I'm fine - Jason shouldn't have worried you about it."

"Well, you don't look fine. How much sleep did you get? You're
pale as a ghost."

"I'm always pale." As Lottie's eyes narrowed at her sternly,
Karen admitted, "Okay, you're right, I was awake until pretty late.
But it's my own fault. You know, Aaron didn't give me any
reason to think we were anything but friends. It was
presumptuous of me to get those silly ideas in my head. I wish
you and Jason would just forget about it. I definitely don't want
Aaron to know - it would be really embarrassing."

Lottie was still concerned. "You know, dear, Aaron says things
in the heat of battle with the Bolts that don't mean anything. He
certainly didn't mean you, last night. This is one of those times I
told you about, when I'd like to give him a good thrashing, but
please don't let this come between you. I've seen him with you
and Jonathon, and he looks - relaxed. Well, relaxed for him, I
mean."

Karen hadn't thought about that. Somehow, she'd been thinking
that she just wouldn't really see Aaron anymore, but Jonny
certainly still needed the friendship that had been developing.
And thinking of the times Aaron had talked to her about his past,
she thought, maybe he needed it, too. "Lottie, that'd be harder
than not seeing him at all - trying to be friends, knowing that it
could never be anything more." Lottie just returned her gaze
without speaking, and Karen found herself promising she'd try.

"Well, okay, but if he wears that fisherman knit sweater again, I
won't be held accountable for my thoughts!" Lottie looked at her
quizzically. "He looks even better in that than he does in his
suits," Karen explained.

Lottie laughed, and Karen smiled at her. As Lottie rushed back
to work, she thought, 'Well, at least she's got a sense of humour
about it, that's a good sign. Lord, she's right for that man. I'll
have to make him see it, too, even if it kills him.' More than
fifteen years, she'd known and cared for Aaron and Jason. She
loved them like a - well, no, it couldn't be like a mother. She
certainly wasn't that old. Like an elder sister, that's it.
Over fifteen years. She had to get those boys married. Let
someone else worry about them for a change...

Lottie didn't notice that for an adopted elder sister, she was
feeling awfully maternal.

October 14, 1867

Lottie was worried about Aaron. She hadn't seen him all last
week, but had heard from his men that he was working night
and day. She'd figured he would come into the saloon on
Saturday, and she could try to find out how he felt about Karen,
but she hadn't seen any sign of him. And then he'd missed
church the next day, and that was strange; Aaron never missed
a Sunday. She remembered distinctly that he'd told her years
ago that he'd made that promise to his mother, just before she
died. 'Too bad he didn't tell her he'd marry young and live
happily ever after,' she grumbled to herself. 'Then I wouldn't
have this headache!' She'd grabbed Harv after church, and Harv
said he thought Mr. Stempel had gone up to Eagle Head Point for
the weekend. Lottie felt somewhat reassured by that, but still
puzzled; it was out of character for Aaron. Then Monday
morning had come and gone without Aaron coming into the
saloon for breakfast. Lottie anxiously questioned Harv when he
came in for lunch; he said Mr. S. had been at the mill at dawn,
but had left for the day after giving Harv his orders and leaving
him in charge. Lottie decided right then to go and find out for
herself what was going on; Aaron never missed work. Leaving
Ken, the bartender, in charge, as she sometimes did on
Mondays, Lottie headed up to Aaron's, after first sending
messages to Jason and Karen to come up to her cabin for
supper. Jason would know from the wording that it was a
command performance. In her message to Karen, she'd added
an invitation for her and Jonathon to spend the night.

When she reached Aaron's cabin, she could see right away that
someone had been doing a lot of work on the place. The
shutters were freshly painted, there were new flagstones leading
up to the front door, and a large amount of firewood was
stacked along the side of the house. She could hear chopping,
and went around back where, sure enough, Aaron was
chopping wood.

'Well, whaddaya know,' she thought, 'it's the fisherman knit
sweater.' He was so intent on his task that he hadn't noticed her
arrival. She studied him for a moment. 'Karen was right,' she
thought in an unsisterly, unmotherly way, before it registered on
her that he looked very grim. Jaw set, face scowling, and taking
whatever was bothering him out on the log. He looked up at
that point, and barely managed to look welcoming; basically, he
just went from a scowl to a frown.

"Lottie. What're you doin' here?"

"Why, I live here, Aaron." She tried to use a lighthearted tone.
"Or a short mile and a half away, anyway. I decided to take the
afternoon off and come up to my cabin, too." He looked at her
suspiciously, and no wonder; his cabin was a mile and a half
past hers. "Are you alright, Aaron? I was a bit worried; I hadn't
seen you for a week."

"I'm fine. I'm busy. I hadn't been up here for a long time, and
there are a lot of things to do before winter." Truth was, his
empty house in town had driven him crazy by Friday night, by
which point in the week there wasn't a thing left to do at the mill.
Work was the answer. Weekends were hell. So he'd come up
here on Friday night, in the dark, much to the dismay of his
horse, because he couldn't spend another night so close to
town. And today... well, after he'd got to work, he'd found that
he couldn't stand to be with people.

But Lottie wasn't that easily fooled. She'd seen that look before:
a year or two ago, when that couple had tried to open a dance
hall, and Aaron had been smitten with the woman. This is how
he'd looked when the woman had betrayed him. "Aaron,
what's wrong? Talk to me."

Stempel turned grimly, picked up another log, and put it on the
block. "There's nothin' to talk about." He raised the ax and
brought it down, splitting the log in half.

"All of your friends have been worried, Aaron. Ben was
wondering where you were. And I'm always ready to listen,
whenever you need me." No response. "Jason said he thought
you've been working too hard." Aaron made a disdainful noise
that sounded like 'Hmph.' "And Karen - "

Stempel interrupted her. "Jason and Karen - my friends. That's a
joke."

Lottie was totally confused. She'd been wondering if he loved
this girl; now it didn't seem as if he even liked her. "Jonathon
was disappointed to not see you yesterday. He said something
about plans to build a fort together - ?"

Aaron sneered into the distance in the general direction of
Seattle. "He has Bolt for those things, now."

" 'He has Bolt'? You mean Jason? I don't understand, Aaron.
Why would Jason take your place with Jonny?"

"Because Bolt is courtin' his sister!" Stempel blurted out angrily,
as if Lottie already knew.

"No, he's not!"

"He is, Lottie; don't try to spare my feelin's."

"Aaron Stempel, whatever gave you such an idea?"

"I saw them, Lottie," Aaron said fiercely. Then he repeated, more
quietly, "I saw them."

"Saw them?" She was still in the dark. "Doing what?"

"Sparkin'. Courtin'." At her astonished look, he insisted, "In the
square. After the town meetin'."

"No, you must have misunderstood, Aaron. Karen isn't in love
with Jason, she - " Oops, Karen had made it clear that Aaron
was not to find out about her feelings. " - She thinks of him like a
brother."

Stempel laughed bitterly. "A brother. Right. You know darn
well, Lottie, every woman from here to - Scotland - is in love
with Jason Bolt. Why should Karen be any different?"

"But I'm telling you the truth, Aaron. And he told me he looks on
her as a sister."

"Right," Aaron sneered. "I'm supposed to believe that any man
could look at that girl and see - a sister? I wasn't born yesterday,
Lottie. - Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to feed my horse."

Lottie knew when it was time to give up. Temporarily. But
she'd be back. "Okay, Aaron - but come in for dinner tomorrow
night, will you? I'll get the cook to make a roast, and we'll use
the private dining room. You can't let your birthday go by
without celebrating."

Stempel hesitated, realizing how rude he'd been acting to his
oldest friend. "I'll think about it. Thanks, Lottie."

She surprised him by standing on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. Did
she have tears in her eyes? "You're enough to drive a woman to
drink, Aaron Stempel," she scolded.

Lottie had lots of time to think about their conversation as she
moved around her Eagle Head Point cabin, making supper.
Aaron had persuaded her to buy this property years ago, and it
had been a godsend. On Sundays, when the saloon was
closed, Lottie came up here and had a weekly escape from the
booze and brawls of life as a saloon owner. Jason kept trying to
persuade her to take every Monday off, too, and she did
occasionally, but truth be told, she couldn't usually stay away
from the bustle and the boisterous men for more than a day.
As Lottie worked, she thought about what Aaron had said. At
first she'd been worried about his obvious misery, but as the late
afternoon wore on, she had time to think about why he was so
upset: because Jason was courting Karen. Of course, she knew
that Jason wasn't courting Karen, or anyone else, for that matter;
the man was a stubborn as a mule on that issue. But he did
have more charm than he knew what to do with, and it was
quite possible that Aaron had seen him simply walking one of
the brides home with his usual dramatic flourishes. The
important thing here was that Aaron was so upset about it.
Lottie could think of no other explanation: it must be because he
was in love with the girl, himself. So she had the answer she'd
gone up there for, after all.

Now, all that had to be done was to get Aaron and Karen back
on the right track. 'All,' she thought sarcastically.

Jason, Karen, and Jonathon arrived at supper time, the
adults' faces showing confusion at having been summoned to
Lottie's cabin. Jonny stayed outside and played in front of the
house. Lottie's heart lifted, as it always did when she saw
Jason, but she tried to look stern. "Jason Bolt, I have a bone to
pick with you!"

Jason's face was a genuine picture of innocence. "Me?"
Indignantly, hand over his heart. "What did I do?"

Lottie enjoyed his performance, and continued hers. "That's
what I wanta know. Aaron's up at his cabin, and he's a wreck.
He's chopped enough wood for three winters and he still hasn't
worked off his anger."

Jason Bolt, the boy who'd cried wolf, tried very hard to look
sincere and not guilty. It was hard to look completely innocent
and pull it off, when you'd faked it so many times. "Please,
Lottie - tell me what's wrong. And why do you think it has
anything to do with me?"

"Because he saw you courting Karen, he says. 'Sparkin',' was
the way he described it."

Now Jason and Karen both looked astounded. Karen added her
denials to Jason's. "Lottie's, that can't be what he said! Jason
and I aren't courting!"

Lottie looked at them both and said, "Well, he said he saw the
two of you carrying on after the town meeting."

Jason looked blank, then remembered. "Oh! Well, I guess I -
kissed her..."

Karen: " - And you hugged me, outside the church..."

Jason: "Oh, and I think I had my arm around her for part of the
time..."

Honestly, Lottie thought, this boy was going to be the death of
her. "Well, that would do it, don't you think? And you did all this
in front of Aaron?"

Jason frowned. "Well, no, we were - in the square. But no one
else was there, I'm sure."

"Well, obviously Aaron was," Lottie said. "What're we gonna do
about it?"

Karen was looking thoughtful and somewhat confused. "I don't
understand why Aaron would be bothered by this. Are you sure
that's what he said, Lottie?"

"I'm certain." The older woman looked kindly at her. "Don't be
afraid to hope, dear."

After supper was over, the dishes were done, and Jonathon was
tucked into the big double bed in Lottie's spare room, Jason and
Lottie returned to the topic of Aaron Stempel. They both agreed
that Karen had to go and talk to him, a prospect which terrified
her. Lottie insisted it was the only way; she'd tried and gotten
nowhere, and Aaron was too angry with Jason. Karen still didn't
think Aaron would be bothered by her choice of suitor, but finally
allowed herself to be convinced by Lottie and Jason's certainty.
After all, she thought, no one knew him better than they did.
The sun had set by the time Jason walked with Karen up the
road to Stempel's cabin. When they were within twenty feet of
the front door, and could see a light in the front room, Jason
said, "Well, this is as far as I go."

Karen felt a stab of fear. "Oh, no, Jason, you have to come to
the door with me, just for a few minutes. I can't do this."

Jason put his hands on her shoulders. "Yes, you can, Karen." As
she opened her mouth to speak, he asked gently, "Now, do you
care about that man in there?" Chastened, she nodded. "Well,
this is your chance to see if you have a future together. No one
can do it for you."

He was right; she hated that. Still holding her by the shoulders,
he leaned down and kissed her cheek, softly. As they pulled
apart, they grinned at each other, thinking how much trouble the
first innocent kiss had gotten them into. "We've got to stop
meeting like this," Karen joked nervously.

He smiled kindly, then said, "Now, get going. Stop stalling."

So she did. She knocked on Aaron's door. No answer. She
knocked again; still no answer. She looked uncertainly back at
Jason. Just then, the door opened, and Aaron stood there,
granite-faced, silent. "What in blazes - I apologize, Miss - St.
James. What're you doin' here after dark?"

"I'm not alone - Jason is with me." As she said this, she turned,
and they both saw a dark figure slip into the darkness, walking
back down the road.

Stempel was shocked. "Miss - St. James, you, uh - Bolt! Bolt! -
He isn't leavin' you here unchaperoned, is he?"

"I trust you," she said. She wasn't sure she could trust herself,
though: he was wearing one of those sweaters. Same black
corduroys, and, this time, a black sweater. 'The perfect outfit to
brood in,' she thought, resorting to humour in her nervousness.

Stempel was at a loss for words, but after a moment, collected
himself enough to say tersely, "Well, come in." What else
could he do? He hoped she and Bolt didn't think she had to
formally come and announce they were courtin'; he didn't think
he could stand that. Ye gods, what if she'd come to say they
were engaged? Either that, or she wanted to lecture him about
that meetin'. He tried to head her off; Aunt Pearl had inflicted as
many lectures on him as he could take, for one lifetime. "Miss St.
James, I want to apologize for my behaviour last Sunday. I
already told the Reverend and Mrs. Blake that I was way outta
line - "

Karen stood in the dimly lit room, where they'd shared an indoor
picnic a few weeks before, and looked at him steadily. "I don't
judge you for that," she said quietly but firmly. "Feelings were
running high at that meeting."

Stempel was stunned. He knew she'd been very upset at the
end of that meeting; he'd seen her. Why was she being so polite
now? "You don't have to pretend, Miss St. James. I saw the
disgust in your eyes after the meetin'. You hadn't seen my mean
streak before; the real me."

The girl looked into his eyes. "I don't believe that's the 'real you';
it's just one part of you. And it certainly wasn't terrible enough to
make me feel 'disgusted'."

The man still couldn't take it in. "But I saw your reaction..."

This was it. Karen knew she was at a crossroads. Aaron
Stempel had so misunderstood what she was thinking and
feeling, that she had to give him at least an inkling of how she
really felt, or else give up. Lottie had convinced her that he'd
made it clear that he felt something for her, just by being so
upset. She couldn't really believe he cared that much about her,
but after Lottie and Jason's heartfelt words this afternoon, she
believed. Sort of. Enough to take the risk, anyway... since, if
she didn't, things would continue the way they were.

She stood facing Aaron, about six feet from him, and held onto
the arm of his overstuffed sofa for support. She took a breath,
and said, "I thought you actually used a lot of restraint at the
meeting. The brides said much worse back at the dorm; after
all, Tommy had told all of us that he'd never had a father. You
refrained from talking about the obvious inference, and I admired
that." Stempel was speechless. He hadn't thought anybody had
noticed that he hadn't tried to ruin Mrs. Blake's good name.
Karen continued, head down now, voice quiet, "I was upset
because... you said that no man would want a woman with a
ready-made family, if he had the choice." Aaron just looked
confused. Karen forced herself to say, "I have a ready-made
family."

He didn't get it for a few seconds, then light dawned. "Oh! I
didn't realize... I owe you an apology, Miss St. James. I didn't
mean you; I meant a widow with a child. I've thought about this
since Sunday, after I saw how willin' the Reverend was to marry
Mrs. Blake, and I realize now that not all men feel the way I do."

Aaron turned and paced to the other side of the room, his hands
in his pockets, and continued to talk without facing her. "I - when
a man has - waited - a long time - all his life - for the right woman,
he - well, I think - he would feel - in competition with her first
husband. Jealous that she'd - loved before. And I - he - if he'd
waited a very long time to have children, he would want that to
be - somethin' special that he and his wife shared with nobody
else."

Aaron paced back to where Karen was still standing and looked
down at her, his expression sincere. "I didn't mean that Bolt or
anybody else would find you unmarriageable. If that's how it
sounded, I apologize." Karen was touched by what he'd said.
Who would have thought that his cynical exterior hid such an
idealistic view of marriage? "Anyway, Bolt obviously wasn't
influenced by what I said, or he wouldn't be courtin' you,"
Stempel added with a slight grimace.

"He's not courting me."

Through clenched teeth, trying to seem unemotional, Stempel
said, "I saw you together last Saturday. I - if he's what you want,
I hope you'll be happy."

"He's not what I want; we're just good friends. That's all." Karen
saw the disbelief in Aaron's eyes, and realized she was going to
have to be blunt. If he was going to pass her by, so be it, but
she'd come this far; she was going to make sure he knew that
the choice was his. She took a deep breath, looked him in the
eye and said, "I wasn't upset because I thought Jason or the
loggers would find me unmarriageable. I was upset because I
thought that what you said meant that you would never court a
woman with a ready-made family."

Stempel, not believing she could be saying what he thought she
was saying, mumbled something about Mrs. Blake. Karen
shook her head, and in a very quiet, somewhat shaky voice,
added, "Like me."

Aaron understood; it showed in his eyes. There was a long
moment of silence. He took two steps towards her, and they
stood only a few feet apart. The sparks were there; the tension
was unbearable... They were both suddenly very aware that
they were alone, unchaperoned, in a dark, isolated cabin lit only
by a dying fire...

Then he stepped back a foot. Two.

Lottie wouldn't have been surprised; she knew how long and
how hard he'd worked to avoid the terrifying reality of a loving
relationship. She would have understood. But she would also
have been very disappointed.

Visibly trying to control his emotions, Stempel swallowed. "Uh -
no, I - didn't mean that I wouldn't want to court you. I - " He
didn't know how to go on. He wasn't ready to bare his soul to
her, to anybody, but...

Karen smiled. Part of her wanted to be swept off her feet, but
most of her wasn't ready yet for an emotional scene that would
rock Seattle, any more than Aaron was. She found her voice,
and tried to lighten the mood. "Well, I guess we just -
misunderstood each other. I'm glad we talked about it."

Stempel was about to agree, when he suddenly had a thought.
"Why did you come up here, if it wasn't to tell me what you
thought about what I said about Mrs. Blake?" They both took this
change of subject as an opportunity to move away from each
other; Karen sat on the sofa, and Aaron added some logs to the
fire, which had almost gone out, then stood leaning on the wall
beside the fireplace, hands in his pockets. Karen found it hard to
be coherent with him staring intently at her with his dark gaze,
looking less brooding, but still mysterious and somewhat aloof.

"Um... Lottie told me I had to," she finally answered.

Aaron laughed. He walked to the window, then back to the
fireplace. "She did, eh? She's bossin' you around? - Well, I'm
glad she did. I was - I thought, after that meetin', that you..." He
couldn't bring himself to admit that he'd been devastated
because he'd thought she'd rejected him. " - I was sure Bolt was
courtin' you. Lottie told me I was wrong, but..." Stempel's spirits
were visibly improving as he paced and thought. "I, uh - I
couldn't've - I've never been able to open up like you just did..."

Karen laughed faintly. "I still can't! I just did it this time because I
was afraid of Lottie."

Stempel laughed again, relief making him almost exuberant.
"Well, she's gonna tan my hide if I keep you here unchaperoned
any longer! C'mon - I'll take you back to town."

Karen explained that she was staying at Lottie's cabin nearby,
and Aaron commented, "Good - I can walk you back."

They left right away, and started the long walk along the dark
road. Aaron carried a lantern which cast enough light to find
their way, but left their faces in shadow. Under cover of the
almost total darkness, he began to feel up to continuing the
conversation. "So, uh, theoretically... you, uh, wouldn't refuse if -
somebody like me came courtin' - some day?"

Karen was feeling more comfortable now, too. What was it
about this relationship? Their best moments so far had all been
in the dark. 'Two fools too shy to look at each other, I guess,'
she thought. 'Or is it that tall, dark, villain types look best in the
shadows?' A bit of both, she suspected.

She answered his question with a smile in her voice.
"Yes, Mr. Stempel, theoretically, I would not refuse if
'somebody like you' came a-courtin'."

"Mean streak 'n' all?" came the voice in the darkness, only half
joking.

Her voice when he answered was completely serious. "I don't
see a mean streak."

He liked that. The girl was blind, but he liked it. He took a
moment to try to remember the last time somebody other than
Lottie had given him the benefit of the doubt. He couldn't
remember back that far.

Karen spoke, asking in the same tone he'd used, "But wouldn't a
man like you avoid courting a girl with a ready-made brother? If
he had the choice?"

He answered quietly and sincerely. "I do have the choice, and if I
decide to go courtin', I won't settle for anyone who doesn't have
a little brother." He paused, and added somewhat
uncomfortably, "Uh - theoretically, of course."

They walked along in contented silence for a few minutes.
Aaron was thinking about his birthday tomorrow, and how hard
he'd worked his men all week. He started thinking out loud
before he realized he was speaking. "I was so angry with Bolt all
last week that I drove my men very hard. Too hard. I'm gonna
close the mill tomorrow; we got way ahead o' schedule. Would
you 'n' Jonathon like to come out with me for the day?"

Karen felt like it had been a hundred years since she'd last heard
that question. What a relief! "Are we still talking theoretically?"

"No," Stempel answered, with more warmth than anyone in
Seattle had ever heard in his voice, "this is real. Very real."

"We'd love to," Karen answered simply. She was concentrating
very hard on not stumbling on the dirt road in the dark. If he
were to take her arm to steady her, she would absolutely stop
breathing; no two ways about it.

Too soon, they were almost at Lottie's. By unspoken accord,
they both stopped around the corner from her cabin. Stempel
felt awkward and nervous, but was determined to say what was
on his mind. "Miss - St. James, it - meant a lot to me - that you
came up to my cabin tonight. I'm - not good with people; I don't
know what to say, or how to say it." He shifted uncomfortably,
shoving both hands into his pockets. "Most people - I don't get
close to most people. I - I just want you to know: I - like spendin'
time with you 'n' Jonathon. I don't know where - we - might go
from here, but I - " He inhaled impatiently, sure he was botching
this. "...I don't know if courtin' is the right word - maybe it's too
soon for that, but - I'd like to - I hope we - well, the way things
were before - can we go back to that?"

Karen felt a lump in her throat. She could see that saying these
things was painfully difficult for him. She wanted to reach her
hand out and reassure him, but she couldn't bring herself to do
it. "I'd like that, Mr. Stempel," was all she could say, hoping he
would hear the warmth in her voice.

He looked down at her, grateful that she'd listened to his
disjointed words so kindly. He wanted to find some way to
show how he felt, even though he couldn't bring himself to use
the word 'courting', yet. He looked down at her with an open
smile, his usual cynical mask temporarily erased by the
emotions of the evening, and said, "Please - call me Aaron."

Karen was struck speechless by his expression. That was the
most dazzlingly friendly smile she'd ever had directed straight at
her, even counting Jason Bolt's. Her palms were sweating. She
finally found her tongue, and tried to speak coherently. "Okay...
Aaron. Please call me Karen."

Inside, Jason and Lottie were playing their umpteenth hand of
cards, and patting themselves on the back for pushing Stempel
and the girl together. In Jason's revisionist memory, he was
pretty sure he'd introduced them - in fact, he'd known, aboard
ship, that she was right for Aaron. "Well, you know, Lottie, if he
ends up happy - actually happy - he just might stop trying to get
my mountain."

Lottie paused, her hand in midair, holding a card, and looked at
him with hope in her eyes... then both chorused simultaneously,
"Nah!"

Lottie discarded two cards and received replacements.
"Besides, Jason, it'll take that confirmed bachelor a very long
time to get to the point of proposing."

Jason studied his hand, and decided to hold onto the cards he
had. He tossed a coin onto the ante. "Well, now, you're right,
Lottie. Why, that'll probably take till the turn of the century."

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Lottie opened it, and
Jason heard her talking to Stempel and Karen. Jason went to the
door, just as Aaron was turning down Lottie's invitation to come
in for a drink. Jason and Lottie stepped out onto the porch, and
the four exchanged greetings. Lottie thought Aaron and Karen
seemed awfully quiet, but looked at peace; she allowed herself
to feel cautiously optimistic. After a minute, Jason said he had to
be getting back to town, and Aaron's ears perked up. "Uh -
Jason, are you stayin' at your cabin in town tonight?" When
Jason said he was, Stempel asked him to stop in at Harv's cabin
to tell him to spread the word to the mill hands that they had the
day off tomorrow. "With, uh, pay, of course," Stempel added.

Jason and Lottie looked at each other, trying to hide their
surprise. "Of course," Jason echoed, with a barely-achieved
straight face.

Lottie had to ask. "So, tell me, you two - did you talk out your
differences?"

"Well, we had a - theoretical discussion," Aaron answered
evasively, smiling slightly.

"What does that mean, Aaron?" Lottie insisted.

"We've, uh, decided to go back to being friends," Aaron
announced, as if this was great progress.

Lottie sensed he was teasing her, but couldn't put her finger on
what was going on. "Well," she turned to Jason, "that's great;
isn't that great, Jason?"

"Well, Lottie," the big logger drawled, arms folded across his
buckskin chest, "all I can say is, it's going to be a long thirty-two
years and eleven weeks."

Aaron stopped looking like he'd trumped them, and took the
bait. His expression was suspicious, his eyes narrowed. "What
happens in thirty-two years and eleven weeks?"

"Why, the turn of the century, Aaron," Jason stated smugly. Once
again, he'd had the last word.

As Jason started to say his goodbyes, Stempel was about to
leave in the opposite direction, to return to his cabin. Jason was
speaking to Lottie, and Aaron turned to Karen to finalize their
plans for the next day. They agreed that Jonathon should go to
school in the morning, and Aaron offered to pick them up at the
school at noon. "How're you gettin' 'im to school in the
morning?" he asked. When he found out that Lottie was giving
them a ride down into town, he asked, "Did you want to go
down that early, Lottie? I can pick Jonathon and Karen up on my
way to the mill in the mornin', if you wanta start work later. I'm
gonna go in at my usual time, in case some o' the men don't get
the message that it's a holiday." Lottie agreed. Aaron and Karen
exchanged reserved goodnights under Jason and Lottie's
watchful eyes, and he walked off up the road into the darkness.

The two matchmakers, who'd been eavesdropping, turned to
Karen. As soon as Stempel was out of earshot, Jason leaned
down close to the ladies, and repeated, smiling brightly,
eyebrows raised, " 'Goodnight, Aaron'?" He turned to Lottie and
declared, "Well, Lottie, we may have to revise our estimate.
What do you think? Thirty-two years and ten weeks?"

Next morning, Jonathon woke the women up very early, and
was thrilled to hear about the plans for the day. He kept up
nonstop chatter until Stempel arrived. "There he is!" he
exclaimed from the window seat, where he'd been waiting
impatiently. He ran out to see Aaron, whom he'd missed very
much in the past week.

Karen and Lottie watched out the window as the man and boy
talked. Aaron looked like someone who hadn't had enough
sleep for all this perkiness, but he was responding attentively.
Karen studied the tall, dark-haired man in the navy blue sweater
and blue denim jeans, dismayed by how good he looked. "Oh,
Lottie," she lamented, "how many sweaters does this man
have?"

Lottie gave her a mock-serious look, and responded, "Lots."

"I'm doomed. I can barely speak coherently when he's wearing
those suits, but the sweaters strike me dumb."

Lottie looked at her out of the corner of her eye. "You seemed to
do alright last night."

"Yeah, well," Karen evaded, not wanting to discuss last night. It
might jinx it.

They went outside to greet Stempel, and rescue him from
Jonathon's enthusiasm. "Ready?" he asked Karen, at a loss for
words in the harsh light of day.

"Mm hm," she answered, smiling briefly, and headed for the
buggy, after a last goodbye and thank you to Lottie.

He started to follow her, but Lottie called him. "Aaron Stempel,
you get back here!" He turned and went back. Karen used the
moment's opportunity to climb into the buggy; she found those
times when he helped her to be excruciatingly awkward.

Stempel raised his eyebrows questioningly at Lottie. "C'mere,
you." She stood on her toes and kissed his cheek; stepping
back, she kept her hands on his arms. "Happy birthday, Aaron."

Her smiled down at the woman who had been his main support
for the past sixteen years, and said warmly, "Thank you, Lottie."

Turning, he strode to the buggy; he climbed in, and Lottie
watched him ride off with Karen and her brother. She walked
slowly back into her cabin, smiling.