Online Love is Truly Blind
Jamison, a thirty-eight year old bachelor, was so fat he that he couldn't see the ground for a five-foot radius. "I haven't seen the ground in five years," he told a girl while chatting with her online.
He had recently joined eHarmony, an online dating site, because he was so lonely that he didn't know where else to turn. Being morbidly obese, it was difficult for him to meet people in the traditional way, i.e. in bars, clubs, at work, at church, or anywhere, really, where women could see what he looked like.
The girl he was IMing misunderstood his brutal honesty for some attempt at poetic realism; she thought he was making a comment on the futility and loneliness of modern life: that feeling we all have so often in this technological age of being so trapped in our minds, our thoughts, and our feelings that we can't find our way out, back to the real world, back to stability.
She responded, "PHaTbOY999xxx, that is so beautiful."
Jamison misunderstood that she misunderstood, and assumed that she meant that she was okay with him being fat. He was thrilled. Finally a woman who could look past his lifelong struggle with his weight. Finally a woman who was willng to see him for who he truly was. Finally, Jamison thought he had a chance for love.
He asked her if she would like to meet him sometime. "Bring a friend," he said. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. And we will, of course, meet somewhere public for lunch at noon."
"I would love to meet!" She gushed, still unaware that he was morbidly obese. "And I'm not afraid to meet you alone. Where were you thinking?"
Jamison's favorite restaurant was McDonald's, but he knew from watching sitcoms and romantic comedies that it was a less than impressive place for a date. He suggested they meet at Marathon Grill, a bustling restaurant on Sansom Street in Philadelphia that served relatively inexpensive healthy food and looked like a combination of a cafe and a cafeteria.
Hot N Single4U was thrilled at the suggestion, and agreed with a wink (-; to meet him on Thursday at 12:15. She would wear a pink dress, he would be wearing all black, because black is slimming.
Thursday arrived slowly. Jamison found himself inspired to take care of himself. For the whole week leading up to his date, he ate healthy foods. He stopped buying all processed foods and instead bought free range meats, a variety of vegetables and fruits, and long grain rices and whole grain breads. He cooked for himself every night, made himself fruit salads for breakfast, and ate salads for lunch. At the end of the week, he had lost 12 pounds.
He was still fat, but he felt better about himself. He felt as if finally he had a reason to lose weight, and finally he knew how to do it. He was ready for the date. He felt like he had been given a second chance, for although he never was close to death (except for two heart attacks, one in 1998, and one in 2005, but neither were fatal. His second-chance feeling came more from his sentiment that maybe his social life would be revitalized. Maybe his social life could come back from the dead.
At 11:37, Jamison hopped on the train to Philadelphia. He stared out the window as the suburbs slowly changed into city. He took up two seats. When he arrived at Suburban Station, he stepped off the train and walked determinedly past the elevator, looked at the escalator, but chose to brave the stairs, much to the chagrin of the other passengers, who now had to wait as Jamison slowly lurched up the stairs, panting, taking them one at a time. When he reached the top, he was sweaty, but proud.
Jamison walked the extra length to Samson Street instead of taking the train or a cab or a bus. He arrived at 12:09. He had 6 minutes to wait for his dream girl. He approached the counter and asked to be seated by a window. They placed him at a table that had him facing the door, so that when Hot N Single4U arrived, he would be able to see her, but he was hidden enough between the window and a pillar that she would only be able to see part of him. Even though he was confident, he was still nervous.
Time went by slowly, but finally 12:15 arrived, and on the dot, a young woman in a pink dress walked through the door. She stood in front of the reception desk, trying to stand out and blend in at the same time, and her eyes searched the room for her date. Finally, she spotted him by the window. A large man, dressed in black. He had dark hair and striking blue eyes. He looked nervous; his face was flushed and shiny. Hot N Single4U walked slowly towards the man. She saw no one else wearing all black, the colors her date was supposed to be wearing. Her heart sank as she realized this pudgy man must be PHaTbOY999xxx. Suddenly it was clear that "phat" was not an acronym but a euphemistic typo, and that "xxx" wasn't just some extra letters to make a screen name, but a clothing size.
She considered leaving, but he had already spotted her. His face lit up in a huge grin, and she thought to herself, maybe he's not so bad...
Jamison was thrilled as Hot N Single4U approached his table. He couldn't believe a girl was willing to be seen with him in public. She wasn't the knockout he expected. She was a little round in the middle, her skin was too dry, her hair was frizzy and unkempt, her dress was too big, her eyes too close together, her arms were a little pudgy. But to Jamison, at this moment, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, because she was the first woman who had ever given him a chance.
She sat down slowly. She looked nervous. She picked up the menu and began to look at the beverages, and mumbled a quick hello to Jamison.
"Hi, I'm Jamison," he said cheerfully.
"Hi," she said, looking a little nervous at his exuberance. "My name's Beth."
"Listen," Jamison began, noting her apprehension. "I don't normally do this online thing...I'm sure you can tell though, that I have a lot of trouble meeting women..." he trailed off, wondering if she would care enough to let him finish. She said nothing but stared at him intently, so he continued. "I am thirty-eight years old, I'm a smart man, and I'm tired of being held back by my weight. I am finally starting to realize that I can change my life for the better, and I've just begun a new diet. Not any kind of scheme, but just eating healthy. I've lost twelve pounds in a week, and obviously I have a lot more to go, but this is the first time in my life I've ever been really willing to try, ever felt like I have a reason to change myself...I'm sorry, I'm rambling, I know. I just am feeling confident for once. It's a nice change..." he stopped talking because he didn't want to scare her.
Beth smiled at him and said, "It's okay." She was disappointed. He was obviously not a poet, but he seemed sincere, so she did not write him off immediately. "What do you do?" She wanted to know if his job was more stable than his personality appeared.
"I write programs for AOL." Definitely not a poet. But he was a writer...sort of.
"That sounds-"
"-Boring?" He interrupted knowingly. "I know. I got offered a job after I took an internship the summer of my sophomore year in college, and it paid well, so I took it and never went back. I've been there ever since. I haven't had the time or motivation to look for something else. What do you do?"
"I work for a publishing company. I am an editor of novels, memoirs, that sort of thing."
"Wow, that's so cool. Very different from what I do. Do you like it?"
"Actually, yeah, I do, for the most part. Sometimes I think I'd make a much better writer than most of the authors I edit for. Someday I'd like to publish my own book."
"That's great," Jamison smiled. "I think you should."
Beth smiled. Her dream to write a book was one she told very few people. She was shy, despite her screen name, and she appreciated this chubby stranger's encouragement. "Thank you," she said quietly. And thus began a long and interesting conversation, which lead to the formation of a long and interesting relationship.
Today, Jamison and Beth are married. They have been married for a year and a half. Jamison lost 165 pounds, and he now weighs a healthy 205 for his 6'3" frame. Beth is working on her novel. Their lives are not perfect, and there is no such thing as happily ever after, but in each other, they have each found a reason to make themselves better people. Jamison takes care of his body, and therefore, his mind, which enables him to make himself and everyone else happy. Beth has found someone who believes in her enough that she finally can believe in herself. And that's all you need, really. Someone who makes you happy to be you.
OR...
Today, Jamison and Beth rarely speak. Beth did her best to get past Jamison's weight. They continued to see each other at first, and Jamison steadily lost weight for a while. However, Jamison's unhealthy emotional attachment to food made the transition from fat to thin very psycologically damaging, not just for him, but for everyone around him. He became very dependent on Beth, almost to the point that she replaced food as his new comfort-his new addiction.
Beth began to lose patience. She tried to be giving, to be supportive, but ultimately Jamison's dependence on her made it difficult for her to live her own life. She lost hold of her dreams, her goals, and even began losing touch with her friends and family. After a few months, despite Jamison getting sexier every day (She could finally count his chins!), Beth logged back into eHarmony, and began to chat with other men behind Jamison's back. The men she met online made her feel optimistic, fulfilled, and attractive, even though she didn't really know any of them. As she began to grow closer to these virtual friends (which is kind of like saying imaginary), she began to distance herself with Jamison, who was becoming so full of his new self that he barely noticed.
Finally, Beth arranged to meet with a man she'd been chatting with regularly, iWntYOU4evr, at a local bar. That night, she and iWntYOU4evr, whose real name was Bartholemew, found that they hit it off easily in person as well as online. After several drinks, a hearty meal, and good conversation, Beth and Bart spend the night together. The next day, Beth and Bart decided to move to Japan, where their love could blossom without criticism from friends and family. Plus, they both hated white people.
And that was the last anyone heard of Beth, except for the occasional group e-mails that she sends to friends and family, including Jamison, detailing her Japanese adventures. These e-mails feature such headings as "u guys wont believe what i saw/ate/fucked" because Beth has become adventurous. She is working on a novel about her life and travels. Bart is in the Japanese mob, even though he is not Japanese. They are rich, and the orgies are amazing. Bart probably won't live past this year, because he is really bad at his job.
Jamison gained back all the weight and more within two months after Beth left him. He lost all self confidence again, and decided he would never risk getting his heart broken again. Ironically, he died from a severe heart attack, which is really like getting your heart broken without the metaphorical meaning. Beth felt bad, but she drank some sake and then she and Bart had a foursome, and she was soon too high to remember it.
The End.