BUDDHA, ALLAH, SATAN!!
1. First of all, THANK YOU EMMA. Thank you for pointing out whatever EVERYONE ELSE AND THIER FUCKING MOTHER has been saying since season one. I LIKE YOU, M'DEAR. I DO.
2. Okay, I get that Quinn and Sam have the cuteness and charm thing going on, but frankly Quinn's voice is just not that strong. IMO, Tina and Mercedes' rendition of Dog Days Are Over was far superior to Time of My Life. But Sam and Quinn are hot, so I'll let it slide.
3. I'm offically onboard the Artie/Brittany express. I wasn't too sure about it at first, but I think they're adorable together. Because they're adorable seperate, so together it's like, three-times the adorable. (IT'S BRITTANY MATH, IT'S TOTALLY RIGHT)
4. PUCK.
PUCK
PUCK
BB, you were so adorable, I'm so glad you've got your personality back. I see how chamred you were by the Hipsters. And now I totally ship you with Twilight Girl. Also, "my boy Kurt" - you know that's why Karofsky was pissed at you, because you're closer to Kurt than he is and because so many people ship them.
5. Speaking of The Fury... I was hoping for more, but I have faith. Kurt will come back eventually, and then we will have more Kurtofsky-ness.
6. I'm torn over Rachel. I mean, I loved her stuff with Kurt, but WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO FINN. But I'm proud of you, Puck. I mean, it's still fucked up that you made out with her in the first place, but I'm glad you decided not to pull a Babygate all over again.
7. Fuck you, Santana. Just... fuck you. I get that you're jealous because everybody was all stars-in-the-eyes in love and you've relegated yourself to being Puck's booty call because you feel you can't follow your heart and be with Brittany, but FUCK YOU for trying to screw over everyone else.
8. While The Warblers do give off the snooty prep-school vibe, they were right - you were trying to hard bb. RELAX. This isn't McKinley. You don't have to fight so hard to be accepted. Just lie back and let them fuck accept you in their own time. Oh, and Blaine? You're lucky I ship Kurtofsky AND Klaine, otherwise I might be thinking you're kind of condescending. :/ Also you're lucky you're Darren Criss and so supermegafoxyawesomehot.
9. EMMA GOT MARRIED. AND I DON'T FEEL BAD THAT MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS, "WAIT, DOES THIS MEAN SHE'S NOT A VIRGIN ANYMORE?!"
I REGRET NOTHING.
10. And finally, the results. I didn't fully expect it, but I was expecting it to not be your typical result. I couldn't really decide who should win. I mean, the Hipsters obviously weren't going to, but their song was fierce. But I couldn't figure out if Nude Erections or the Garglers were going to move on. I mean, I know RM has stated that the season will end at Nationals in New York, but we all know Ryan Murphy is a big fat troll. I don't even want to talk about Strando, I'm trying to forget he even is a thing. So, I wasn't sure that them going to New York would necessaruily mean they were going to compete. But then, I thought it would be wierd for them to lose so early. BUT, I also want Darren and Kurt, and therefore the Warblers, to stick around. So I'm okay with this outcome.
SPOILERS (highlight to read):
So I guess Kurt and Blaine ARE going to get to sing BICO, for which I am ecstatic. But we really need to get back to the Kurtofsky storyline BECAUSE THAT'S ALL ANYONE CARES ABOUT ANYWAY.
Phew. This episode took a lot out of me, you guys, jeez.