(no subject)
I'm speechless.
so many thoughts going through my head, but i can't think of one thing i want to put on here.
I"m trying to change some things in my life, and trying to show my parents how I'm trying, but every two steps forward I make, they see me going three backwards and I don't get it.
I've cut off the majority of my friends, since I don't think they even still see me as a friend..
I just feel like I've been such a disappointment to everybody I've come in contact with over the past 5 1/2 years.
Regret sucks.
I read in a book my mom gave me that I need to stop thinking about the past so much and move forward, but she keeps taking me back to my mistakes, so everything is a contradiction and I just want to start having real success in my life for once. Every accomplishment that I've made since leaving high school has been turned around with four more failures... I just want that to end.
Even my relationships seem to be failures...
Aahh... I really don't want to be feeling the depressed way that I do on a daily basis, I know God doesn't want the depressed feelings, so why can't I change and be happy?
I'm moving back home *again*. I don't want to, and it depresses me even more now after the past three days that I was home, but I have to. I feel like every talent I was born with, I didn't use, and now I feel like I've lost them all...
Just want to start over...
so many thoughts going through my head, but i can't think of one thing i want to put on here.
I"m trying to change some things in my life, and trying to show my parents how I'm trying, but every two steps forward I make, they see me going three backwards and I don't get it.
I've cut off the majority of my friends, since I don't think they even still see me as a friend..
I just feel like I've been such a disappointment to everybody I've come in contact with over the past 5 1/2 years.
Regret sucks.
I read in a book my mom gave me that I need to stop thinking about the past so much and move forward, but she keeps taking me back to my mistakes, so everything is a contradiction and I just want to start having real success in my life for once. Every accomplishment that I've made since leaving high school has been turned around with four more failures... I just want that to end.
Even my relationships seem to be failures...
Aahh... I really don't want to be feeling the depressed way that I do on a daily basis, I know God doesn't want the depressed feelings, so why can't I change and be happy?
I'm moving back home *again*. I don't want to, and it depresses me even more now after the past three days that I was home, but I have to. I feel like every talent I was born with, I didn't use, and now I feel like I've lost them all...
Just want to start over...