fuck it all

[janeberkeley]

i have so much work to do this week and no time to breath until the weekend. i have no idea who i'm saying goodbye to this week, if anyone at all... cristina, mel, kevin, people from my house... i feel like things will probably end painfully...and i know i won't be lonely when i go back to california, cause i can't wait to see jonathan and mac and everyone. but this week will definitely be lonely.

It's been one year since i got sexually assaulted by that guy. i just realized that now, that it's been a year. i can't believe how long it's taken for this year to go by. this semester has sucked so much as. there were no parties. i actually had alcohol in my fridge, and guess what, about half of it is still there, including the bottle of wine my dad got me 2 months ago. it wasn't even open. well i fucking opened it and i'm having a few glasses cause that's the only way any of this shitty work might get done during this miserable miserable lonely week of no fun, no friends, no sex, no love. mrrrrrr, i wish jono would answer the phone. i called mel and her mom was on the phone. so im just being totally pathetic and being a cry-babie on my fucking journal like a typical fucking girl.
ahhhhhhhhhh, mel just called.