jesus died for us, so we can probably handle giving random crap to people we care about
So I'm watching my tape of Alias, and one of the spies broke the case for a fire hose in the hospital, wrapped it around her arm, and ran so she could smash a window, jumped, and let the fire hose be her anchor. Freaking awesome. I guess it took bringing Anna Espinosa back from wherever to bust out the Alias moves that I adore.
I'm not such a fan of my life this week. I think it's not a week to make any kind of serious decisions because I can't figure out if I'm getting sick, overemotional due to the arrival of Phillip while I'm in California, or that I'm just freaking exhausted.
I'm running my first shift on Friday under observation and my first shift for reals without anyone else there to fall back on or whatever is Sunday. This is great but my manager is a moron and I'm amazingly frustrated with my lack of training. I feel fine about it all when I remember I've done this before, just not at Starbucks, and even outside of job experience I've been in fairly significant leadership roles and done well. I get nervous when I look at my training manual and think about how little time I've gotten to spend reading and doing the little activities. It's a sink or swim situation I'm being thrown into, and although I know I will swim, I'm just afraid that I'm going to almost drown first.
Frustration number two is the fact that while I'm at school I feel thoroughly out of place. I'm older than most of the students, but not so much older that it's obvious. I don't live on campus. And also, my school irritates the snot out of me, generally speaking. I'm tired of being there, I'm tired of going to class and halfway paying attention, I'm just tired of it all. As best as I can tell, I have four classes left after this semester. Then I don't know what I want to do, but I have the strong urge to get the hell out of at least Southern California, if not California altogether. To go where and do what, I'm not entirely sure yet. It's looking pretty feasible to spend three months-ish in Europe after I graduate and maybe that will help me clear my head. More than clearing my head in a year, I'd like to be comfortable where I'm at. Comfortable isn't really the right word, but I can't think of a better one at the moment. I wish I knew what to work on first so I could feel better about where I'm at right now. The crawling back into bed instead of working on research projects or cleaning up my room definitely isn't the way to go.
Frustration number three is being so far away from my parents and my sister and her family while I'm frustrated with my life in general. If I was in Texas and irritated about my station in life, at least I'd be irritated while letting my niece crawl all over me and I'd have already met Phillip. I could go just sit with my parents any time I wanted. Even if they were all still in Northern California, I could get two days off in a row from school and work and drive up to see them. Three or four trips a year to San Antonio sounds like a lot but then it doesn't seem like enough. I don't want to go live in Texas though and they're all pretty settled in there.
So, I don't know. I do know that Jason's idea of taking the entire tub of expired pastries home to throw at strangers is hilarious. He thinks you couldn't possibly get in trouble for it because for one, how much damage can a muffin really do and for two, who would believe you if you claimed that a stranger chucked a pastry at you?
I'm not such a fan of my life this week. I think it's not a week to make any kind of serious decisions because I can't figure out if I'm getting sick, overemotional due to the arrival of Phillip while I'm in California, or that I'm just freaking exhausted.
I'm running my first shift on Friday under observation and my first shift for reals without anyone else there to fall back on or whatever is Sunday. This is great but my manager is a moron and I'm amazingly frustrated with my lack of training. I feel fine about it all when I remember I've done this before, just not at Starbucks, and even outside of job experience I've been in fairly significant leadership roles and done well. I get nervous when I look at my training manual and think about how little time I've gotten to spend reading and doing the little activities. It's a sink or swim situation I'm being thrown into, and although I know I will swim, I'm just afraid that I'm going to almost drown first.
Frustration number two is the fact that while I'm at school I feel thoroughly out of place. I'm older than most of the students, but not so much older that it's obvious. I don't live on campus. And also, my school irritates the snot out of me, generally speaking. I'm tired of being there, I'm tired of going to class and halfway paying attention, I'm just tired of it all. As best as I can tell, I have four classes left after this semester. Then I don't know what I want to do, but I have the strong urge to get the hell out of at least Southern California, if not California altogether. To go where and do what, I'm not entirely sure yet. It's looking pretty feasible to spend three months-ish in Europe after I graduate and maybe that will help me clear my head. More than clearing my head in a year, I'd like to be comfortable where I'm at. Comfortable isn't really the right word, but I can't think of a better one at the moment. I wish I knew what to work on first so I could feel better about where I'm at right now. The crawling back into bed instead of working on research projects or cleaning up my room definitely isn't the way to go.
Frustration number three is being so far away from my parents and my sister and her family while I'm frustrated with my life in general. If I was in Texas and irritated about my station in life, at least I'd be irritated while letting my niece crawl all over me and I'd have already met Phillip. I could go just sit with my parents any time I wanted. Even if they were all still in Northern California, I could get two days off in a row from school and work and drive up to see them. Three or four trips a year to San Antonio sounds like a lot but then it doesn't seem like enough. I don't want to go live in Texas though and they're all pretty settled in there.
So, I don't know. I do know that Jason's idea of taking the entire tub of expired pastries home to throw at strangers is hilarious. He thinks you couldn't possibly get in trouble for it because for one, how much damage can a muffin really do and for two, who would believe you if you claimed that a stranger chucked a pastry at you?