"Sub-plot! Sub-plot!"
You know how, sometimes, you will adore 90% of a book, and there's this one thing that makes your brain start plotting ways to fix it? It can be something minor, or something not-quite-major, or even something major-- although, really, it's much harder to love 90% of a book if there's something major that really infuriates you.
Anyway.
I read a review of the latest by Sarah Morgan, who is a British author writing for Mills & Boon (which is Brit-speak for Harlequin, basically)-- since she writes for the "Presents" line, she's working under fairly specific page constraints. I mention this because part of what bugged the reviewer (and me) seemed like it was caused by space constraints-- if she'd had, say, another fifty pages, there would have been time to fix the problem. I've actually read one of her earlier books, and there were some things I really loved-- the fact that the heroine runs away from the hero and spends a year living comfortably and happily and gains about 15 pounds and a boatload of self-confidence, the fact that the heroine (rather than meebling and moping about her appearance and weight) has a moment of "Waaaaaait a minute-- you're not telling me to not buy this dress but to get the horrible sack-like thing over there because you think I'm ugly.... you're doing it because you think I'm sexy-- and is completely correct, because her now-voluptuous figure is pushing all the hero's buttons and he is kind of freaking out, and the fact that once the heroine has figured this out, she goes after the hero's attempt to put her into a nice, neat contained "this is my wife and wives are not supposed to be sex goddesses" box with a very large hammer (and also lingerie). So I was pretty excited about reading the new one, in spite of the very silly title (the sad thing? It's a silly title partly because the editors of M&B/Harlequin are trying so hard to get away from the standard "The Greco-Roman Tycoon's Amnesiac Pregnant Mistress's Regatta Dilemma" or whatever model). "Doukakis' Apprentice"... yeah. It main thing that makes it silly is that "Doukakis" sounds like you're either talking about the politician or the actress, and both sound weird in this context-- and "Apprentice" is just.... weird, and wrong, in the sense that there is no apprenticing to anybody at any point, and I don't think that the word even comes up ANYWHERE IN THE BOOK. Seriously; this is a book that would have been better if they'd gone for the stereotypical standard (which, frankly, at least tells you something about the book, which is important when you have three seconds to scan covers and figure out what interests you).
Have to admit, I'm a sucker for the "heroine who is misunderstood/under-appreciated," and this definitely follows that pattern. Polly Prince (*sigh* Yes, well...) has been holding her father's advertising agency together for years, largely because her father is an irresponsible idiot with a short attention span, who is sometimes interested in running the business, and sometimes interested in frolicking off to exotic destinations with women young enough to be his daughter. In the most recent case, he's (apparently) run off with an actual former schoolmate of Polly's, whose extremely over-protective older brother Damon Doukakis is the head of a super-successful media conglomerate and general corporate shark. Being a Harlequin Presents hero, his response is to buy up the company, on the grounds that it will bring Polly's father out of hiding. Except, of course, it doesn't, because then the book would end in twenty pages her father is an irresponsible idiot with a short attention span. Damon usually does research into the companies he buys, but this time he's acting purely out of anger-- he knows the company is in serious trouble (due to Polly's father having the attention span of a fruit fly, and the fact that the board of directors is straight out of the 1950s and has never met an expense they won't charge to the company), he assumes it's because they are all idiots, and Polly and her father in particular are greedy. He also comes standard with the requisite pre-judging of the heroine due to An Incident At School, back when she was 14.
Thereupon follows a quite lovely narrative where Polly proves to be very astute about business, and about Damon's motivations, and he gets to learn about her bit by bit, realize how much he's misjudged her, figure out that many things about her life have kind of sucked, and there's an excellent romantic trajectory which starts off with both of them being very cranky about finding the other person so attractive. There's also some really nice touches by the author-- you have over-protective Damon, who has dedicated his life to keeping his sister safe after their parents' death, and Polly, whose father's strategy for raising children was "Well, it's your problem; you figure it out," which means that you get things like:
Damon: Now that the fact you got hurt and had to go to the hospital is all over the news, your father is sure to call!
Polly: Huh?
Damon: *blink* You were hurt, and so when your father calls to make sure you're okay...
Polly: Why on earth would he do that?
Damon: Because.... you were in the hospital!
Polly: I'm not seeing your point.
Damon: But... you.... injured... hospital..
Polly: *eyebrow* Your logic is extremely baffling.
The fact that Polly's relentless determination to take care of everything herself, and fix all the problems, and work twenty-four/seven until everything is okay, because nobody else is going to take care of it for her, is really not healthy keeps her out of Mary Sue territory-- she's very confused by somebody wanting to help and take care of things. And there's a great scene where the reader knows that she's covering up for being terrified, but since it's told from Damon's point of view, she just comes across as serene and unruffled (which, btw, disconcerts and annoys him wonderfully).
Anyway, Right. So. Relationship development moves a bit fast, because, as mentioned, page constraints. But it works, because the characters and their interactions are done so well. And then comes the part that really annoyed... well, various people, including me. Remember how the whole plot kicked off with Polly's irresponsible father running off with Damon's younger sister? Who was at school with Polly? Yeah. The two of them come back married. Which means that Polly's friend, who is well aware of the fact that her father has been married at least four times, pretty much always to younger blondes, and that this was a constant source of embarrassment, is now the latest in a long line of stepmothers. And neither she nor Polly's father seem to see a problem with this. *sigh*
Which, frankly, makes the sister appear like a complete dingbat, and seems to set things up for future familial conflict, when marriage number whatever inevitably falls apart. It isn't even entirely clear why she fell for Polly's father in the first place; Polly criticizes Damon for being overly protective of his sister, and never allowing her to make any decisions, good or bad, meaning that she grew up very sheltered and naive... which sounds perfectly plausible, but which does not make the marriage to a much older man seem more sensible (a man who is apparently one of those men who need a woman to look after them, hence the repeat marriages). It just felt like a baffling non-resolution to that particular problem, brought in because the author had ten pages to wrap everything up in, and there needed to be a final moment of conflict between Damon and Polly before the happy ending. I mean, Polly got to stand up to her father, and yell at Damon's sister for not appreciating her brother's hard work, but... yeah, the sudden May-December marriage just seemed doomed to fail in ways that would resonate badly for the hero and heroine.
Personally, I was hoping that Polly's father would come back married to somebody else altogether, and Damon's sister would have orchestrated the apparent elopement just to get her brother and Polly together. Hee.
Anyway.
I read a review of the latest by Sarah Morgan, who is a British author writing for Mills & Boon (which is Brit-speak for Harlequin, basically)-- since she writes for the "Presents" line, she's working under fairly specific page constraints. I mention this because part of what bugged the reviewer (and me) seemed like it was caused by space constraints-- if she'd had, say, another fifty pages, there would have been time to fix the problem. I've actually read one of her earlier books, and there were some things I really loved-- the fact that the heroine runs away from the hero and spends a year living comfortably and happily and gains about 15 pounds and a boatload of self-confidence, the fact that the heroine (rather than meebling and moping about her appearance and weight) has a moment of "Waaaaaait a minute-- you're not telling me to not buy this dress but to get the horrible sack-like thing over there because you think I'm ugly.... you're doing it because you think I'm sexy-- and is completely correct, because her now-voluptuous figure is pushing all the hero's buttons and he is kind of freaking out, and the fact that once the heroine has figured this out, she goes after the hero's attempt to put her into a nice, neat contained "this is my wife and wives are not supposed to be sex goddesses" box with a very large hammer (and also lingerie). So I was pretty excited about reading the new one, in spite of the very silly title (the sad thing? It's a silly title partly because the editors of M&B/Harlequin are trying so hard to get away from the standard "The Greco-Roman Tycoon's Amnesiac Pregnant Mistress's Regatta Dilemma" or whatever model). "Doukakis' Apprentice"... yeah. It main thing that makes it silly is that "Doukakis" sounds like you're either talking about the politician or the actress, and both sound weird in this context-- and "Apprentice" is just.... weird, and wrong, in the sense that there is no apprenticing to anybody at any point, and I don't think that the word even comes up ANYWHERE IN THE BOOK. Seriously; this is a book that would have been better if they'd gone for the stereotypical standard (which, frankly, at least tells you something about the book, which is important when you have three seconds to scan covers and figure out what interests you).
Have to admit, I'm a sucker for the "heroine who is misunderstood/under-appreciated," and this definitely follows that pattern. Polly Prince (*sigh* Yes, well...) has been holding her father's advertising agency together for years, largely because her father is an irresponsible idiot with a short attention span, who is sometimes interested in running the business, and sometimes interested in frolicking off to exotic destinations with women young enough to be his daughter. In the most recent case, he's (apparently) run off with an actual former schoolmate of Polly's, whose extremely over-protective older brother Damon Doukakis is the head of a super-successful media conglomerate and general corporate shark. Being a Harlequin Presents hero, his response is to buy up the company, on the grounds that it will bring Polly's father out of hiding. Except, of course, it doesn't, because then the book would end in twenty pages her father is an irresponsible idiot with a short attention span. Damon usually does research into the companies he buys, but this time he's acting purely out of anger-- he knows the company is in serious trouble (due to Polly's father having the attention span of a fruit fly, and the fact that the board of directors is straight out of the 1950s and has never met an expense they won't charge to the company), he assumes it's because they are all idiots, and Polly and her father in particular are greedy. He also comes standard with the requisite pre-judging of the heroine due to An Incident At School, back when she was 14.
Thereupon follows a quite lovely narrative where Polly proves to be very astute about business, and about Damon's motivations, and he gets to learn about her bit by bit, realize how much he's misjudged her, figure out that many things about her life have kind of sucked, and there's an excellent romantic trajectory which starts off with both of them being very cranky about finding the other person so attractive. There's also some really nice touches by the author-- you have over-protective Damon, who has dedicated his life to keeping his sister safe after their parents' death, and Polly, whose father's strategy for raising children was "Well, it's your problem; you figure it out," which means that you get things like:
Damon: Now that the fact you got hurt and had to go to the hospital is all over the news, your father is sure to call!
Polly: Huh?
Damon: *blink* You were hurt, and so when your father calls to make sure you're okay...
Polly: Why on earth would he do that?
Damon: Because.... you were in the hospital!
Polly: I'm not seeing your point.
Damon: But... you.... injured... hospital..
Polly: *eyebrow* Your logic is extremely baffling.
The fact that Polly's relentless determination to take care of everything herself, and fix all the problems, and work twenty-four/seven until everything is okay, because nobody else is going to take care of it for her, is really not healthy keeps her out of Mary Sue territory-- she's very confused by somebody wanting to help and take care of things. And there's a great scene where the reader knows that she's covering up for being terrified, but since it's told from Damon's point of view, she just comes across as serene and unruffled (which, btw, disconcerts and annoys him wonderfully).
Anyway, Right. So. Relationship development moves a bit fast, because, as mentioned, page constraints. But it works, because the characters and their interactions are done so well. And then comes the part that really annoyed... well, various people, including me. Remember how the whole plot kicked off with Polly's irresponsible father running off with Damon's younger sister? Who was at school with Polly? Yeah. The two of them come back married. Which means that Polly's friend, who is well aware of the fact that her father has been married at least four times, pretty much always to younger blondes, and that this was a constant source of embarrassment, is now the latest in a long line of stepmothers. And neither she nor Polly's father seem to see a problem with this. *sigh*
Which, frankly, makes the sister appear like a complete dingbat, and seems to set things up for future familial conflict, when marriage number whatever inevitably falls apart. It isn't even entirely clear why she fell for Polly's father in the first place; Polly criticizes Damon for being overly protective of his sister, and never allowing her to make any decisions, good or bad, meaning that she grew up very sheltered and naive... which sounds perfectly plausible, but which does not make the marriage to a much older man seem more sensible (a man who is apparently one of those men who need a woman to look after them, hence the repeat marriages). It just felt like a baffling non-resolution to that particular problem, brought in because the author had ten pages to wrap everything up in, and there needed to be a final moment of conflict between Damon and Polly before the happy ending. I mean, Polly got to stand up to her father, and yell at Damon's sister for not appreciating her brother's hard work, but... yeah, the sudden May-December marriage just seemed doomed to fail in ways that would resonate badly for the hero and heroine.
Personally, I was hoping that Polly's father would come back married to somebody else altogether, and Damon's sister would have orchestrated the apparent elopement just to get her brother and Polly together. Hee.