(no subject)
I am just cleaning my house doing the normal day off chore things. I feel so boring. I used to think I was such an adventurous, fun loving, out going, spontaneous person. I prided myself on that. I dont know if I have changed or if it is just becoming an "adult" or my surroundings or what? I feel like I have turned bitter. I am always tired, in pain, whinny, lazy. Okay I have always been kind of lazy but I loved fun. Now I just go about my day work, chores, stress, routine and I feel like a whole different person. I dont even rock out in my car anymore. I never smile when I drive. I am just one of those people who looks pissed off all the time. I guess it could be feeling so tied down money wise to the house. We can't really pick up and go anywhere like I used to. Trips even for the day. The beach, a mountain, a casino, a "scenic" area, Saturday market. Nothing. I feel like it is just not in the cards for us, and that I should settle and try being a better house wife. I suppose instead of pouting about not ever going anywhere, or being that fun spontaneous person I used to be I could leard to cook. Maybe try to do some of the home improvements a girly hairdresser can actually do. I dont know. I am afraid the "young" years of my life are already gone. I feel like I am 50. When I look back on my life when I am older I only have a few fun stories. I was barely even able to have fun on the honeymoon. It is like....I just lost "it" whatever "it" is and now I am this boring naggy person that I will be until I die. I am not ready for that. I keep hoping that money is the only thing holding us back. Not just being boring people in general. Please god let that not be the case.