so lately...
i dont know why
but soem people have really been bothering me. i dont knwo why, and i wish i wasnt so bothered
but i really really am
i jsut havent been in the mood for anything lately. and i feel like there is one person who is really bothering me lately. i feel liek im being used to make them look like a better person to others, like they want to look good to other people, and they use me to do it.
kinds confusing... i guess, but i dotn rly want to be any more specific in case they read this.
but a good thing that i have realized, that soem of my friends are much more loyal to me than i once believed. it just amazez me sometimes how good of people i know.
school is rough though. i got a 56% on my test. so i switched seats. i blame it on the kid who sits behind me and constantly taps on the back of my test and whistles and mumbles and sings to himself EVERY DAY. so i switched seats. haha. i hope i do better! i really really need the good grade.
and somethign else i realized
there are some people that i will never get over
i really thought i could do it
but i ws just kidding myself
i took so many stupid actions jsut to prove to myself that i was over him, but when it comes down to it, im just kidding myself.
i hate that
i hate how things have become
i hate myself for the stupid things i have done
and i hate that i cant take back the actions that i have taken
i hate that people look at me in a diffrent way now
i hate that i said rediculous things out of angst that really werent true
and i hate that upon walking into a room of old friends, i get the feeling that they are judging me
i wish i could take it back
all of it
as much as i have grown up from it (although looking back i think i got even more childish for a while there) there are so many things i wish i could fix
im sorry
you have no idea...
and i hate that i have been going on abotu this forever
ANYWAYS
other things are ok
i sometimes just feel like i have no control over my life anymore. i feel that everything is so set in its place at school and then i come home and i feel like the rules are just getting more strict by the day. and i hate that i lose my cool so much lately.
i miss gymnastics. it made me such a happier person.
i feel like i look at things so pessimistically lately without even thinking.
ew
but soem people have really been bothering me. i dont knwo why, and i wish i wasnt so bothered
but i really really am
i jsut havent been in the mood for anything lately. and i feel like there is one person who is really bothering me lately. i feel liek im being used to make them look like a better person to others, like they want to look good to other people, and they use me to do it.
kinds confusing... i guess, but i dotn rly want to be any more specific in case they read this.
but a good thing that i have realized, that soem of my friends are much more loyal to me than i once believed. it just amazez me sometimes how good of people i know.
school is rough though. i got a 56% on my test. so i switched seats. i blame it on the kid who sits behind me and constantly taps on the back of my test and whistles and mumbles and sings to himself EVERY DAY. so i switched seats. haha. i hope i do better! i really really need the good grade.
and somethign else i realized
there are some people that i will never get over
i really thought i could do it
but i ws just kidding myself
i took so many stupid actions jsut to prove to myself that i was over him, but when it comes down to it, im just kidding myself.
i hate that
i hate how things have become
i hate myself for the stupid things i have done
and i hate that i cant take back the actions that i have taken
i hate that people look at me in a diffrent way now
i hate that i said rediculous things out of angst that really werent true
and i hate that upon walking into a room of old friends, i get the feeling that they are judging me
i wish i could take it back
all of it
as much as i have grown up from it (although looking back i think i got even more childish for a while there) there are so many things i wish i could fix
im sorry
you have no idea...
and i hate that i have been going on abotu this forever
ANYWAYS
other things are ok
i sometimes just feel like i have no control over my life anymore. i feel that everything is so set in its place at school and then i come home and i feel like the rules are just getting more strict by the day. and i hate that i lose my cool so much lately.
i miss gymnastics. it made me such a happier person.
i feel like i look at things so pessimistically lately without even thinking.
ew