I save my emo blogs for lj
Because here, at least nobody knows my name. :)
I just set myself back like 6 months. I went with Nick to his brother's house yesterday. He asked, what should I have done said no? Ok fine, I should have said no. You know, if I actually wanted to move on and join the rest of the happy, normal, living, breathing world.
(Barry's talking a lot today. Ick, shut up troll.)
Anyhow it was really nice. He's like really good with the kids, which totally makes me a cliche because I like him more for it. So when we got back in the car afterwards he's joking around like you're jealous aren't you? You're jealous cause I have awesome nieces and nephews. Oh ouch. Yeah ... THAT'S what I'm jealous of. Not the fact that your brother and sister in-law have this awesome perfect happy little family and I'm stuck in growing up urge-to-finally-settle-down hell. Ugh life. It blows a fat one. Realistically (and aside from the fact that I have no mans in my life) I couldn't do any of that if i wanted to anyway. I'm broke. I should be happy that I got to see him at all but I just feel worse today because I know it's going to be another month now. It's almost like he thinks making an appearance once a month will some how keep my mouth shut. That's not true, he probably hasn't even given it a second thought and has no idea I'm all longing and admiring from a distance. It's so awesome to revert back to my middle school days. At least then I wasn't bugged by the whole aging thing. If you think you're going to die by the time you're 50, does this count as midlife? Can I have my crisis now? Can I get me a brand new car and a young cabana boy to cart around? I didn't used to be morbid either. Growing up is a bitch, man.
I just set myself back like 6 months. I went with Nick to his brother's house yesterday. He asked, what should I have done said no? Ok fine, I should have said no. You know, if I actually wanted to move on and join the rest of the happy, normal, living, breathing world.
(Barry's talking a lot today. Ick, shut up troll.)
Anyhow it was really nice. He's like really good with the kids, which totally makes me a cliche because I like him more for it. So when we got back in the car afterwards he's joking around like you're jealous aren't you? You're jealous cause I have awesome nieces and nephews. Oh ouch. Yeah ... THAT'S what I'm jealous of. Not the fact that your brother and sister in-law have this awesome perfect happy little family and I'm stuck in growing up urge-to-finally-settle-down hell. Ugh life. It blows a fat one. Realistically (and aside from the fact that I have no mans in my life) I couldn't do any of that if i wanted to anyway. I'm broke. I should be happy that I got to see him at all but I just feel worse today because I know it's going to be another month now. It's almost like he thinks making an appearance once a month will some how keep my mouth shut. That's not true, he probably hasn't even given it a second thought and has no idea I'm all longing and admiring from a distance. It's so awesome to revert back to my middle school days. At least then I wasn't bugged by the whole aging thing. If you think you're going to die by the time you're 50, does this count as midlife? Can I have my crisis now? Can I get me a brand new car and a young cabana boy to cart around? I didn't used to be morbid either. Growing up is a bitch, man.