(no subject)

[jammypac]

I think about Kalamazoo, Its river flowing through it with the light reflecting off the surface by street lamps and car lights. Its got a mottled appearance, the surface is spotted with different liquids all reflecting light a little differently. I walk in the cold with thoughts of henry miller talking about being full inside with a book waiting to flow out, about how he is pregnant with this egg to be hatched in written form. I think to myself "how could he do this? how could he have a whole book in his brain. How can he remember everything word for word, is this guy a god?" It comes to me, of course he is full! He is talking about concepts, to explain them you live in the moment, as though this psychic world of concepts controls the moments, this untime controls being in time. He has a goal and to express that is written at the moment and every word is pertainent to expressing it, but it could be expressed differently maybe at a different time. In fact I would dare to say it always would be different. So as I walk by this river I think about Kalamazoo. I think about how it must have started as a logging town like most, (I havnt read anything about it) and with this innocence it was hoping to become somthing "better" somthing more "aware", I think this was only in the background, of course there family's in the foreground, but this "hope" for the future that made life more exciting. Who knows what kind of technology the future could hold, with industry starting. As we reach farther and pull that future closer to us we understand more and more. Plauged with this understanding comes this "oil" or whatever else is making that mottled effect in the surface of the river. This jaded feeling comes with the knowlege and you are left thinking, "what have we done? what went wrong?". But as the earth is indifferent and accepting as is my soul. Conflict creates counterproduction. Yet most involve it into there everyday exsistance? They war back and forth mentally and physically with this denying of themselves and growth in a way that is "right", yet this is my opinion. I feel health is a calm pool clear and warm. Accepting of anything that lands in it. My mind accepts the plution as a byproduct of realizations and awareness. So then is this soul yet meloncholy when looking at the river for it reminds him of the past when the hope and dreams were all imagination, not yet formed into ways to be interperated for when articulation comes, so does this polution and the different ways are limited more and more. But then after this comes a awarness of a better way, It goes higher so my initial thought about life being expressed differently is possible. Life is then past the point of polution and awarness is clear and unmottled. With acceptance. And with wisdom comes understanding of life without byproducts. Will this civilization person become realized? for it is an entity as a individual.

I dont pretend this will make alot of sense and dont expect anyone to get some kind of meaning from this. Its just some kind of vent. I am aware of the foggy notions portrayed.... I love everything.