(no subject)
So after a rushing psycho cleaning morning I made it to the bus, it a bad idea to have a potluck right before you have to go on a bus ride, the ride was odd, I waited in the line for a looong time talking to this guy that works at video hits plus and was going to kalkaska to spend Christmas with his family, blah blah although he was pretty fun to talk to I must say. After I finally made it on the bus, bastard late buses, I sat near the back for easy access to the toilet for I drank a quadruple espresso to mix things up a little. the bus ride is an interesting thing, I seem to go through a huge rollercoaster of emotions and thoughts every time I ride it, alot of time to think, weird people all around, music, reading henry miller, this odd couple that were acting like children, this "hot" girl that didn’t even look me or anyone else it seemed in the eyes, that slept the whole time and woke up to call her "boyfriend", sounded completely scratchy and sick, its such a shame such physical beauty without an ounce of spirituality. There was a lady that had a child right in front of me and the child kept looking at me and laughing and I would make funny faces, thus provoking it further no doubt, at the next stop (grand rapids) she moved up a bunch of seats! haa ha. This girl that sat behind me (quite breathtakingly beautiful) we never said a word to each other but did little communiqué with hand motions and eye movements, really and odd experience for I’ve never had such a relationship, albeit a short one. Sitting there thinking about the beautiful girl behind me, wanting to say something but then also not, like the gas prices that were rising the farther north we went my thoughts were rising, Venus fly traps and the instantaneous closing of the mouth, as when the unsuspecting fly triggers the sensitive hairs. looking out the window at the stores, the same everywhere, meijer, walmart, kmart, and mcdonalds, the lights and the people, all the same, yet slightly different, like legumes, lectin that from one line of legume has a special affinity for the surfaces of the particular bacteria that colonizes it. Like the eccentric movements of a particular motile microorganisms. So similar yet different in subtle ways. When looking outside you see a huge beautiful castle; a golden castle with platinum turrets, to behold such a difference is to cut your breath. Like the Venus fly trap it closes on you and you are slowly consumed. It’s as though with a sly wink the universe pulls the blankets over your eyes, and hits you in the stomach. The blood curdling scream of no food and an infinite amount of energy! Asking for a pencil, getting a dull marking pencil, not able to scribble thoughts down, held back like a captive lion. Fighting the dragon, if it wasn’t so powerful, the breath is so hot the scales so impervious. If only the restraints weren’t so seductive. Like a medusa, the eyes, I turn to stone. A broken wheel on a cart, the carts moving, stay on for the ride, it will fix itself, if not the mechanic will fix it, its so expensive. No more lazy easy rooting. Pay him and pay him well, for he will fix that wheel, but pain is the barter. Talk to the blacksmith and sharpen those teeth, iron teeth made from years of pressure, years of heat, adding and adding. Building the tower to see the turret, look through the window for if you don’t you shall perish, like most. Sound the horns! For we battle tonight, we battle every night, and for good measure we battle every day, for when we fight in day time the truth is revealed, the god is shown, not for the weak, it takes a humility, a certain indifference, yet a care so strong that you hurt and then jump with triumph! These things we live with, these thoughts we die with. Make the best of them for they will surely eat you.