Cooking up Conspiracies
A/N: Is there such a thing as RPF crack? What with all the crazy theories out there, this story wouldn’t be anything but. Let me state here that I don’t intend to offend anyone, and that the opinions expressed aren’t my own; they’re made of generalization and speculation. ;D
Disclaimer: I don't own them. And that sounds wrong for several reasons.
Summary: So obviously, Bradley is a self-centered beast, Colin has turned emo, Angel is nowhere to be found (trailer? anyone?) and the other Knights decided to get a talk-show of their own. Oh noes, now who are going to appear on "Something for the Weekend"? Yes, that's right. It falls to Adetomiwa and Richard to save the day.
Written in response to this brilliant prompt at KMM25.
* * * Cooking up Conspiracies * * *
“What? Me? You? I thought Bradley was going?”
“Ah, you silly boy. Of course he’s not going. He’s far too busy fighting with Colin, not to mention spending time with his girlfriend, to bother himself with such things.”
“Oh?”
“I’ve also heard he’s quite ill at the moment. Has been for some time, apparently. Have you seen him smile in public lately? No? Well, you try and smile at the shrieking crowds when your head and tummy ache."
“That’s… unfortunate.”
“Quite. I don’t think Johnny and the Julians will mind, though. Have you heard what he’s been saying about Arthur and Gwen? They’ll probably never let him speak in public again.”
“What? That’s just…”
“Oh, certainly.”
“Well, what about Colin?”
“Colin is understandably upset about Bradley’s beastly, self-centered and egoistical behavior, and has decided to lock himself in a cupboard.”
“He wouldn’t-”
“Not normally, no. But he’s been feeling so lonely this year, with you and the other blokes around to distract Bradley. No offence. I reckon he’s gotten so used to being alone that sitting in a cupboard hardly makes a difference now.”
“But Angel-”
“Please. She isn’t even in the trailer. Why would they allow her to talk about the show on TV? She likely doesn’t even know what is going to happen this year.”
“So they decided on you and me? Aren’t there more suitable people for the job? What about the other guys?”
“Where have you been these past couple of weeks? It was quite surprising to us all, I admit, but Rupert, Eoin and Tom have made several public appearances together. They were such a hit they decided to leave the show and get one of their own.”
“What?”
“They’re immensely popular. Tom’s arms even have their own talk show now.”
“But… and… what… how… and… with the…”
“I see it is a lot for you to take in. Do sit down, dear boy. Care for some water?”
“…”
“Would you like to cook this evening?”
“…”
“Would you rather I do it?”
“…”
“That’s settled then. Here, have a biscuit. Oh, silly me. You’d better put it back in the jar, Ade. Some people say it’s fan-made cookies like these that made Bradley so dangerously ill in the first place.”
“…”
“Oh, marvelous, do keep silent tonight, then I’ll do the babbling. We’ll be just like Bradley and Colin. Ah, it’s going to be just fine.”
* * *
FIN