makes me wonder.
grr today just sucked. i mean it flat out sucked. thats the long and short of it. school was bleh. i failed my algebra exam with a 48% and then failed the quiz i took. brilliant. another D this quarter. then i was 15 minutes late for physical therapy and that was apinful diagnostic thing they did- lots of steps and knee bending. bleh. got home then went riding. omfg..
it was one of those lessons that makes me wonder why im doing this..
he WOULD NOT loosen up and go round so we spent 30 minutes trotting around with his nose in the air, it hasnt been that bad since oh august? then things just got even worse. jenn set up some new jumping pattern and i just kept screweing it up and she was yelling at me about everything, then she put the jumps up and he started refusing cause i was so anxious and he could feel it and i would take my leg off and my god it was absolutley horrible and jenn was yelling at me. then she came over told me to get off, and she got on and did everything perfectly. and lectured me. i mean i just felt like such a beginner cause everyone in the ring was watching me screw up. maybe i should just stop eventing and not do M and S.. maybe i should sell paddy and get him someone who actually deserves him and will give him a good ride and i should just go get a horse from a rescue center and trail ride. ive got no talent for this eventing and after this lesson it makes me think im never going to get any better.
*sigh*
it was one of those lessons that makes me wonder why im doing this..
he WOULD NOT loosen up and go round so we spent 30 minutes trotting around with his nose in the air, it hasnt been that bad since oh august? then things just got even worse. jenn set up some new jumping pattern and i just kept screweing it up and she was yelling at me about everything, then she put the jumps up and he started refusing cause i was so anxious and he could feel it and i would take my leg off and my god it was absolutley horrible and jenn was yelling at me. then she came over told me to get off, and she got on and did everything perfectly. and lectured me. i mean i just felt like such a beginner cause everyone in the ring was watching me screw up. maybe i should just stop eventing and not do M and S.. maybe i should sell paddy and get him someone who actually deserves him and will give him a good ride and i should just go get a horse from a rescue center and trail ride. ive got no talent for this eventing and after this lesson it makes me think im never going to get any better.
*sigh*