The thoughts running through my head are not optional.
I havent sat at a computer to do what I want in the longest time. Being that I am tired and waiting for my room now seems like the perfect time to just sit and write...
I like this feeling inside of me that make me feel weak at times. I dont know what it is but I know it has something to do with uncertainty. To not know what is coming next is all too exciting, but when I think about the things that are certain the feeling turns from anxiety to anguish. Everywhere I go there is something that triggers the on and off of this feeling. Besides the fact that I am traveling through Europe with no agenda Im doing good. There is not a day that goes by that doesnt remind me of something from back home. The dominos in Amsterdam. The tourist from NY. The underground in London that reminds me of a shitty NY subway system that went wrong. The couples everywhere you turn holding hands and kissing. Those mother fuckers are everywhere. At first I disliked them to a degree that I couldnt comprehend, but I thought about it and found that I didnt dislike them or anything like that, Im jealous. Its all nice and everything to travel by yourself and meet people along the way, but I need a friend or someone who I will not name, because it could have been a possibility and now just slips further and further away everyday. All the places I go to are full of people in love and the romantic scenery doesnt see to be helping much. Lol. Im ready to live or die. Which ever comes for me is of little consequence. I saw all this because I know its true. I expected to die here (Europe), which as you can see hasnt happened, but if I were to expire here there would always be that one thing that I hoped had worked another way. I hope I get another chance in another life. In that life I wish I could retain my memories of this life, so as to not make the same mistakes.
I would just like to thank the people at Sears for making the all time greatest warranty ever for my cd player. Thanks you people. Yeah, I said you people. Lol. I have a cd/mp3 player to keep me company during my travels. I think Im up to 6,7, or 8. I lost track.
Why is it that we cannot move past fossil fuels? I know, but I dont know. Its hot here. Im sure part of it is natural occurences, and the other part is of course, MAN! I know the world will end or would have ended in my life time. The world doesnt have much time left and little hope.
I want to know more than I know. I want to know more than anyone should ever know.
I dont know what else I want to talk about. There is so much but my mind is being flooded by something else, as it always is. Sometimes I wish you could choose to forget things.
Im listening to Eminem and I was thinking about how I was at the train station last night just singing superman. The tourist and villagers must have looked at me and used me as a reason to justify hate for Americans. Lol. Got anymore?
Isnt it weird how a smell, a scene, colors, and music can trigger an entire memory?
Oh, yeah, and now we move to the French. Can anyone tell me what the hell is going on? I mean with the whole strike thing. Ive been delayed a couple of hours here and there but no cancellations as of yet. I hope going back to Amsterdam isnt a problem. Wait, fuck Amsterdam. What about getting back home??? Lol. Thats not funny. Okay its time to go wandering the streets of Rome. I can believe its 10:03am but I dont want to. In Venice and Amsterdam it the sun sets at 10pm.
I like this feeling inside of me that make me feel weak at times. I dont know what it is but I know it has something to do with uncertainty. To not know what is coming next is all too exciting, but when I think about the things that are certain the feeling turns from anxiety to anguish. Everywhere I go there is something that triggers the on and off of this feeling. Besides the fact that I am traveling through Europe with no agenda Im doing good. There is not a day that goes by that doesnt remind me of something from back home. The dominos in Amsterdam. The tourist from NY. The underground in London that reminds me of a shitty NY subway system that went wrong. The couples everywhere you turn holding hands and kissing. Those mother fuckers are everywhere. At first I disliked them to a degree that I couldnt comprehend, but I thought about it and found that I didnt dislike them or anything like that, Im jealous. Its all nice and everything to travel by yourself and meet people along the way, but I need a friend or someone who I will not name, because it could have been a possibility and now just slips further and further away everyday. All the places I go to are full of people in love and the romantic scenery doesnt see to be helping much. Lol. Im ready to live or die. Which ever comes for me is of little consequence. I saw all this because I know its true. I expected to die here (Europe), which as you can see hasnt happened, but if I were to expire here there would always be that one thing that I hoped had worked another way. I hope I get another chance in another life. In that life I wish I could retain my memories of this life, so as to not make the same mistakes.
I would just like to thank the people at Sears for making the all time greatest warranty ever for my cd player. Thanks you people. Yeah, I said you people. Lol. I have a cd/mp3 player to keep me company during my travels. I think Im up to 6,7, or 8. I lost track.
Why is it that we cannot move past fossil fuels? I know, but I dont know. Its hot here. Im sure part of it is natural occurences, and the other part is of course, MAN! I know the world will end or would have ended in my life time. The world doesnt have much time left and little hope.
I want to know more than I know. I want to know more than anyone should ever know.
I dont know what else I want to talk about. There is so much but my mind is being flooded by something else, as it always is. Sometimes I wish you could choose to forget things.
Im listening to Eminem and I was thinking about how I was at the train station last night just singing superman. The tourist and villagers must have looked at me and used me as a reason to justify hate for Americans. Lol. Got anymore?
Isnt it weird how a smell, a scene, colors, and music can trigger an entire memory?
Oh, yeah, and now we move to the French. Can anyone tell me what the hell is going on? I mean with the whole strike thing. Ive been delayed a couple of hours here and there but no cancellations as of yet. I hope going back to Amsterdam isnt a problem. Wait, fuck Amsterdam. What about getting back home??? Lol. Thats not funny. Okay its time to go wandering the streets of Rome. I can believe its 10:03am but I dont want to. In Venice and Amsterdam it the sun sets at 10pm.