(no subject)
I havent updated in awhile... I dont know what there is to say. It seems as if a lot of people are quitting smoking and drinking with everything that comes with it. I'm glad that everyone is moving on with their lives and eliminating their demons and vices. But not once has a drug or drinking stopped me from getting to something, someone or a goal that I have wanted. I'm not knocking on anyone, but it is just a lifestyle change. Wierd how henry was the first one to say he was done with shit but we all looked at him as if he were crazy? All of our negative views, hardships, jokes, pranks and just flat out bullshit drove the kid to go physcho, what if we actually did support a guy we called our friend? Maybe he would have learned earlier and gotten alittle smarter and not gone off into some physcho rampage. Henry had a dream before he went crazy and everyone knew it. Instead of us trying to help him and make him better like good friends would do, we all went against him and told him that he sucked or he was annoying. Henry tried to fight to be our friends but all we did was make him feel like shit. Have you ever been told you werent allowed somewhere? Try not being alowed to the place where all your "friends" hang out. I'm glad everyone is facing their demons but why do people feel the need to tell me that they have been sober for god who knows how long? I'm glad your sober and not smoking, but I honestly dont give a fuck because we're entering probaly one of the most fun times in our lives and people are going to tell me they are done with shit forever? If you can do it than more power to you and you must have found faith or something. But we are all only starting to shape our lives and what we may be in the future. I give you all good luck and praise, but please dont be that person when I see you smoking or drinking a year from now expect me to believe a word you say. We all have goals, some more than others but if a drug or drinking is getting in the way from you getting those goals...than honestly...get some help. A substance should never control you, ever. This was not directed to anyone specifically.
It's been three months since my mom passed...I have never felt so differnt, so grown, alone in my life. I was fine the first couple days and months, time just went by. But now it seems as if time has stopped and you look around wishing you just had what you used to have back. You look at other peoples lives and how they are getting down about the smallest things, angry over the dumbest things and its like they dont realize that life is short, if you blink you will miss it. Ask yourself what the craziest thing you have done lately? whens the last time you actually looked at the stars,danced in the street,kissed in the rain, been to the beach. Have you been honest to everyone? ask yourself if you have ever buried someone you loved and cared about so much you couldnt picture life without them and than had to live that life, how you would do that?
I havent chilled at the shire much lately. It's the same thing everyday. There hasnt bveen one day when i went over there and something differnt was going on. Everyone seems to be having come-to-jesus talks, smoking, playing baseball or giving each other shit. There are a couple more reasons I dont chill there much anymore. Those dont need to be said over a livejournal.
It's been three months since my mom passed...I have never felt so differnt, so grown, alone in my life. I was fine the first couple days and months, time just went by. But now it seems as if time has stopped and you look around wishing you just had what you used to have back. You look at other peoples lives and how they are getting down about the smallest things, angry over the dumbest things and its like they dont realize that life is short, if you blink you will miss it. Ask yourself what the craziest thing you have done lately? whens the last time you actually looked at the stars,danced in the street,kissed in the rain, been to the beach. Have you been honest to everyone? ask yourself if you have ever buried someone you loved and cared about so much you couldnt picture life without them and than had to live that life, how you would do that?
I havent chilled at the shire much lately. It's the same thing everyday. There hasnt bveen one day when i went over there and something differnt was going on. Everyone seems to be having come-to-jesus talks, smoking, playing baseball or giving each other shit. There are a couple more reasons I dont chill there much anymore. Those dont need to be said over a livejournal.