(no subject)

[jamis07]

Is it possible that my timing can never be right? It's kinda fucked up. I've been really depressed lately. Angie called me and it was kinda wierd. Last time we actually had a conversation I was up north at Steve Bakers cabin....ohh the memories. Ashli called today and woke me up from my "power nap". Last time I talked/saw her i was holding her and in the process of going to kiss her and she tilt her head to not kiss me?! She didnt just shut me down but it was kind of like a knockout punch in the 5th round of a heavy weight title bout. She proceeded to try and say sorry and when she is in the middle of telling me that she is sorry she begins to laugh. seriously...who the hell do you think you are? i'm not like your ex boyfriends who leach on and try and try to get back with you. i'm not in love with you and your not in love with me. i've tried to get back with you many times, a long time ago so once again, this is all on you and I hope your happy. I'm nervous as all hell, tomorrow my mom goes to find out if the masses she has in her lungs are cancer or not. I cant go with my family because I have finals. It sucks a lot. The whole situation makes me think...I cant even explain. What if I were to die tomorrow? I dont even want to think of this whole situation with my mom. I hate it but i'm going to have to face it. What is up with all the drama lately? Not just at the shire but online, at school, at work. What happend to the days where it was ALL of us. There wasnt all that he said/she said bullshit. The drinks were flowing, the bud was smoking, cash was flowing, guys were pimping, girls were loving and we were all chilling. Now shits fucked up. all fucked up. Most of us wont be around in a year. This is when we start to go our won seperate ways. So lets regroup and get it going and enjoy the time we have as long as its lasts because before we know it....it'll be gone.

This is the Sniawka Niawka 248 districht out. Peace.