(no subject)
Sometimes I feel as if I'm anti-social. I'm one of those people who would rather keep my headphones on and vibe to music than talk to the strangers in a classroom. I always sit in the desk in the far right back corner of the room, where I can see everyone, but I talk to no one. Why is that? Am I just one of those people who have an innate need to observe and analyze others--as well as myself? And is it because I distance myself from others that I feel as if I dont belong in college? Is it just me? Is it? Maybe. Probably. Almost definately. There it is again, the common theme as of late, me just getting in my own way. But how can I change to become a person I might never be comfortable with? Even if it were better... I just...I remain at a loss, here. Someday, I will have found myself, and I'll be able to answer all of these questions, hopefully. I will be wiser and I will feel better about being me. That will be a great day.
I think way too much.
Dear God,
I miss you. I kno I did this, I kno I walked away hurt and angry. But I miss you.
Scooter came over yesterday...And I swear, she is my angel. She's only 4 years old, but she is my angel. Its so hard to believe she's 4 now...I remember seeing her in the delivery room and holding her and watching her grow up (as much as you can before you turn 4, that is Lol) and its amazing how time has just...left us. No matter how bad things have gotten, she has always been able to make me smile. I remember her coming over and staying at our house the night Grant died...she was the only one in my life who got me to smile that night... She's only a little kid and she's still so innocent... That makes me so happy, yet so sad at the same time. It makes me want to protect her from all the bad things in the world. But I kno that I cant do that. I love her so damn much, it doesnt even matter that she's not my sister by blood...she is my family. And I will do everything I can to always be a part of her life. And to set a good example for her. Because she deserves the best out there... <3<3<3
I think way too much.
Dear God,
I miss you. I kno I did this, I kno I walked away hurt and angry. But I miss you.
Scooter came over yesterday...And I swear, she is my angel. She's only 4 years old, but she is my angel. Its so hard to believe she's 4 now...I remember seeing her in the delivery room and holding her and watching her grow up (as much as you can before you turn 4, that is Lol) and its amazing how time has just...left us. No matter how bad things have gotten, she has always been able to make me smile. I remember her coming over and staying at our house the night Grant died...she was the only one in my life who got me to smile that night... She's only a little kid and she's still so innocent... That makes me so happy, yet so sad at the same time. It makes me want to protect her from all the bad things in the world. But I kno that I cant do that. I love her so damn much, it doesnt even matter that she's not my sister by blood...she is my family. And I will do everything I can to always be a part of her life. And to set a good example for her. Because she deserves the best out there... <3<3<3