what is wrong with my mind??
ok.. so i know i write a lot of morbid stuff in here.. lol... but forgive me, its just a place to let shit out..
so, i had this weird dream and it was the saddest thing i have ever dreamt in my life and it scares me to know that these things happen in my mind.
and here it is..
We are at my old house and my dad says he wants a family picture of us all outside on the stairs so we go out there and then he says wait, i want your grandparents to be in it too so somehow we end up on a school bus and its my mom, dad, sister, brother and i.. and also my grandma and grandpa.....but then, my papa was there too. But my nana wasnt.
So they all look really really realllllly sick. like deathly ill kinda sick which is weird because my papa has passed already and my grandmother isnt sick. and she's sweating in the seat. and i tell my sister to open the window beause grandma is sweating and she says no, if she wants it open she can ask me herself (which, btw, my sister would never say. so dont get the wrong idea)at this point all my frustration is let out at her and I SCREAM at her to just fucking open the window...
so then the bus stops and we are all getting off, i guess to go take a picture or soemthing and my grandmother is getting off and i look over into the seat in the front of the bus and my papa, the one who died this past august, is sitting there, lying against someone and he looks so so so sick. like he cant move, he cant stand up. and he goes to lean on my grandmother to get up and my dad tells him not to do that because she will fall.. so then I start to hysterically cry in my dream and im like NO STOP! STOP IT! and i run over to him and im like PLEASE let me help you.. please please let me help you ill help you let me help you up. and he cant do it he cant get up cuz hes so sick and im like put ur hands in mine and push ur weight up and ill help you up and he does. and then he can stand. and then i wake up.
and i cant stop thinking about it. it was so sad... and i thought that when people who passed came to your dreams it wasnt supposed to be like this. my mind just doesnt understand! and my nana wasnt even there.. im so fucked up i swear.
so, i had this weird dream and it was the saddest thing i have ever dreamt in my life and it scares me to know that these things happen in my mind.
and here it is..
We are at my old house and my dad says he wants a family picture of us all outside on the stairs so we go out there and then he says wait, i want your grandparents to be in it too so somehow we end up on a school bus and its my mom, dad, sister, brother and i.. and also my grandma and grandpa.....but then, my papa was there too. But my nana wasnt.
So they all look really really realllllly sick. like deathly ill kinda sick which is weird because my papa has passed already and my grandmother isnt sick. and she's sweating in the seat. and i tell my sister to open the window beause grandma is sweating and she says no, if she wants it open she can ask me herself (which, btw, my sister would never say. so dont get the wrong idea)at this point all my frustration is let out at her and I SCREAM at her to just fucking open the window...
so then the bus stops and we are all getting off, i guess to go take a picture or soemthing and my grandmother is getting off and i look over into the seat in the front of the bus and my papa, the one who died this past august, is sitting there, lying against someone and he looks so so so sick. like he cant move, he cant stand up. and he goes to lean on my grandmother to get up and my dad tells him not to do that because she will fall.. so then I start to hysterically cry in my dream and im like NO STOP! STOP IT! and i run over to him and im like PLEASE let me help you.. please please let me help you ill help you let me help you up. and he cant do it he cant get up cuz hes so sick and im like put ur hands in mine and push ur weight up and ill help you up and he does. and then he can stand. and then i wake up.
and i cant stop thinking about it. it was so sad... and i thought that when people who passed came to your dreams it wasnt supposed to be like this. my mind just doesnt understand! and my nana wasnt even there.. im so fucked up i swear.