New Song - Guard Duty
In an earlier post, I mentioned that I had a Project D otherwise called Project Dahl. There's quite a nice story behind this.
At Event 3 of Empire, there was a thunder storm and the children who were in The Academy were frightened. The Academy crew thought that some music would help (cue images of the scene "My Favourite Things" from Sound of Music) and called GOD. Leanne Hoye had answered, as an ex-Unicorn thought of me, and put a call out for me to go play The Academy. It was just as I was about to play the Tavern with greenandkeen that Garrick Maguire ran up to us with the message.
As the three of us made the quick hop over to The Academy, I realised that I was entirely unprepared for playing to children. To be honest, I have never really pitched my music at children and so have always been pleasantly surprised when children respond so well to it. However, that was in LT. In Empire, I have gone for a grittier darker set, which I describe IC as "hard songs of road". Not really the thing for frightened children in the middle of a thunderstorm. A quick set was formulated which went:
1) Slightly Spooky Song
2) Navarr running song
3) Ride On
4) The Demons who Live Underground (adapted)
When we arrived, we saw six children sitting on a rug while an academic looking chap was telling them a rather dry, bordering on dusty, story about duty or something, which he was reading from wood carvings. A couple of adults were looking on. The children's ages ranged from three to seven with five girls and, the youngest, a boy. Three looked frightened, two looked bored and one was paying attention to the story with interest. We made our hellos to the attending adults and were told we would be up when the story ended.
Gwen and I sat on a log bench and began our hastily put together set. Slightly Spooky Song immediately got their attention - what with it being weird and funny:
"Oooooooo..... Slightly spooky song! It's slightly spooky. It's sort of spooky. It's kinda spooky. It's mostly spooky. My mildly spooky, mainly spooky, slightly spooky song!"
Which is one of those silly numbers I made up in the field one time when drunk. As you do.
Gwen and I introduced ourselves IC and told them we were from Navarr and we had come here because we had heard that they were frightened of the storm. Well as Navarr when we are frightened, we overcome it by being more terrifying than anything that is out there. Then we are no longer frightened because everything is frightened of us!
The kids liked this. We proceeded to get them to join in with the Navarr running song with all its bloody and gory verses. For a change of pace we did Christy Moore's Ride On which we pitched as all about the extinction of horses. "All the horses are gone!" I cried in my exaggerated accent. The kids started welling up, so in the middle section I inserted a talking bit, "All the horses are gone, but they live on in our imaginations and as long as we remember them, they will never die!" or some other pablum.
We then moved onto The Demons Who Live Underground (with the adult parts removed) and I encouraged the kids to make monster noises. "Can we scream?", asked one girl. "Yes, Scream. Scream as loud as you want". The kids looked at the other adults. The other adults gritted their teeth and shrugged. Then all six children let out the shrillest, loudest and most ear-shattering screams that they could. Fear of the storm forgotten.
We could feel it wasn't time to finish, but I couldn't think of any more material to play, so we decided to make up a song on the spot. Of course, it had to be about the children - who at this point I was calling "My little demons". The song, and I can't remember how it went now, basically told the story that everyone should beware the woods, because if you went in them then INSERT CHILD'S IC NAME HERE would kill you... horribly. The story continued with each murderous child and how they would get you. By the end of the song, all six children had grabbed weapons and were running around eager to kill everything.
Leaving the chaos we had sown to be dealt by the adults, we finished and headed back to the tavern. Job done. It wasn't how Julie Andrews did it, but there were no more frightened children.
---
Project Dahl is my plan to put together a set of music for children. Probably about eight to ten songs, all should work in a larp setting with some tailored to Empire's Academy which I see as the prime audience. The reason I've gone with Project Dahl is as a reminder that the set should take Roald Dahl as an inspiration. The set should work for both adults and children and be melodic, mischievous and sometimes profound. It may even be moralistic, but as with Roald Dahl's work, this is best done in a gruesome and/or humorous fashion.
The current set so far is:
1) Slightly Spooky Song (to be completed)
2) Ride On
3) Navarr Running Song
4) Ship's Company (to be completed)
5) Demons who live Underground (to be adapted)
6) Guard Duty
Guard Duty is probably better described as a performance piece rather than a pure song. I think I can pull it off....
Guard Duty
Verse 1 (Twinkly - open E progression)
Guard duty.
It's two o'clock in the morning and all is well.
Guard duty.
I guess you could say my sergeant doesn't like me,
Doesn't care for me that much,
Because she's gone and put me on,
Guard duty.
Verse 2
Guard duty.
And everything is so quiet,
And peaceful.
And I'm keeping the whole camp safe.
It's my duty.
It's my responsibility,
This Guard duty.
Verse 3
I'm hungry.
You know it's hungry work being on duty.
And no-one would blame me,
If I had a little nibble of that little bit of cheese,
If I had a little nibble of that little block of cheese.
If I had a little nibble of that little wheel of cheese,
Who could blame me?
Verse 4
Guard duty.
So very lonely.
So very chilly.
Everybody's all warm and tucked up in bed, and I'm out here in the rain looking for the enemy,
Who's miles away.
Who could blame me?
If I had a little tipple of a little bit of wine,
If I had a little tipple of a little bit of wine,
If I had a little tipple of a little bit of wine,
If I had a little tipple...
Verse 5 (Punk-esque - barred E progression)
GUARD DUTY!
GUARD DUTY!
If I had a little tipple, little tipple...
The sergeant may not like me.
And everyone thinks that I'm stupid.
But I'm gonna have a party,
Because there's no-one else around.
GUARD DUTY!
I'll have a little tipple...
Yeah a little more drink.
Verse 6 (Twelve bar blues)
Guard Duty
I'm feeling kind of nauseous
*Dry heave*
Guard Duty
*Yawns something indecipherable*
Who could blame me,
If I had a little sleepy time...
*Snores*
Verse 7 (Twinkly - open E progression)
*Snores*
*Snork...awake*
Guard duty.
And everything is so quiet,
*hic*
And I'm keeping the whole camp safe.
It's my duty.
It's my responsha...
responsha...
responsha-bigatee.
Guard duty.
(spoken) Who's that? Hold on, you're not one of ours!
*gurk*
*splutter*
*dies*