To Do List
I am leaving tomorrow. My flight leaves at six twenty in the morning, meaning I have to be at the airport at four thirty. I know I don’t really need two hours, but I’m not leaving anything to chance. I honestly don’t think I’ve taken a vacation since before I started law school. How can that be? Even now, as I organize my notes, getting ready to give my last outstanding case to Jimmy, I’m thinking that I should really just stay until it’s over. How can I leave not knowing if Millie will be compensated for her charred scalp? It’s really an image I can’t wash off. I grab my sweater and my favorite coffee cup and make sure everything is arranged nicely for myself when I get back.
“Suzy?” I don’t wait for her to acknowledge me because I know she won’t. “We still haven’t received payment from the Pellizari case, and you need to call her and stay on top of that. Oh, and remember to send that letter we talked about. Oh, and if I get any phone calls from uh . . this number” - hands Suzy a slip of paper - “don’t take a message, just let it go to my machine.”
She nods absently.
“Are you all set?” Jimmy comes in, smiling. “You better come back with a tan.”
“I will, Jimmy. Just for you. Did my notes make sense? Millie’s expecting you to meet with her tomorrow.”
“Yes Jamie. And yes. The meeting is on my schedule. Don’t worry.”
“I wish I was going,” Suzy grumbles.
Jimmy gives me a quick kiss on the cheek and wishes me well, and I start to leave, but then rush back into my office just to really make sure I haven’t forgotten anything.
“Okay, I’m going, “ I say as Jimmy and Suzy smile patiently at me.
Once outside the building, I do relax. The bus should be arriving in 4 minutes, which gives me a moment to clear my brain of everything. Instinctively, I turn and look back through the windows. It is dark outside, so I can see in, but they can’t see me. I watch Suzy and Jimmy talk for a while. Jimmy does all the talking and Suzy rests her chin in both of her hands and listens to him. She looks so interested. She never looks at me that way. But then Jimmy goes away into his office, yet she continues to rest her elbows on the desk and her chin in her hands. She stares across the office at nothing. For some reason her last words to me start to reverberate in my head. “I wish I could go.” Watching her now, I suddenly become extraordinarily aware of the childlike sweetness of her large eyes. And I notice how sad she looks. And I realize she has probably never left the city. Probably never left this neighborhood.
“I wish you could go too, Suzy.” I whisper, but then my bus has arrived. I get on and pay and find my usual seat three rows from the front. As the bus pulls away I look back at her again through the window. She still hasn’t moved.
“Suzy?” I don’t wait for her to acknowledge me because I know she won’t. “We still haven’t received payment from the Pellizari case, and you need to call her and stay on top of that. Oh, and remember to send that letter we talked about. Oh, and if I get any phone calls from uh . . this number” - hands Suzy a slip of paper - “don’t take a message, just let it go to my machine.”
She nods absently.
“Are you all set?” Jimmy comes in, smiling. “You better come back with a tan.”
“I will, Jimmy. Just for you. Did my notes make sense? Millie’s expecting you to meet with her tomorrow.”
“Yes Jamie. And yes. The meeting is on my schedule. Don’t worry.”
“I wish I was going,” Suzy grumbles.
Jimmy gives me a quick kiss on the cheek and wishes me well, and I start to leave, but then rush back into my office just to really make sure I haven’t forgotten anything.
“Okay, I’m going, “ I say as Jimmy and Suzy smile patiently at me.
Once outside the building, I do relax. The bus should be arriving in 4 minutes, which gives me a moment to clear my brain of everything. Instinctively, I turn and look back through the windows. It is dark outside, so I can see in, but they can’t see me. I watch Suzy and Jimmy talk for a while. Jimmy does all the talking and Suzy rests her chin in both of her hands and listens to him. She looks so interested. She never looks at me that way. But then Jimmy goes away into his office, yet she continues to rest her elbows on the desk and her chin in her hands. She stares across the office at nothing. For some reason her last words to me start to reverberate in my head. “I wish I could go.” Watching her now, I suddenly become extraordinarily aware of the childlike sweetness of her large eyes. And I notice how sad she looks. And I realize she has probably never left the city. Probably never left this neighborhood.
“I wish you could go too, Suzy.” I whisper, but then my bus has arrived. I get on and pay and find my usual seat three rows from the front. As the bus pulls away I look back at her again through the window. She still hasn’t moved.