heres that article if anyones interested-- (supposedly there are some pictures of me in the article)
Trapped in between worlds
Not comfortable with the sex they were assigned at birth, transgender people struggle with their identities
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
By ANDREA BOYARSKY
STATEN ISLAND ADVANCE
With his short, spiked hair, baggy jeans and collared shirt, Jamie Gagne appears to be your typical, young 21st-century guy.
But, although he dresses, acts and lives his life as a male, physically the former Greenridge resident is a female. Born "Adrianne" 20 years ago, Gagne identifies as a straight male. He is transgendered -- "trans" as he prefers to be called -- one of thousands like him across the country who were born one sex, but mentally identifies with the other.
Gagne said he realized he was different around age 5, when a boy attempted to kiss him. Until then, he said, he didn't recognize gender differences and didn't realize he was being perceived as a girl.
As he got older, his persistent boy-like feelings were "just something you knew were there, but weren't allowed to come out," he said.
He had crushes on girls that he never spoke about and wanted to dress like his brothers and play with their toys, but decided to go with the flow. Around age 13, Gagne came out as a lesbian, but soon learned that term did not describe his feelings or his desire to date women.
CROSSING THE LINE
The term "transgender" is an umbrella term for those who do not feel entirely comfortable with the gender assigned to them at birth and may cross traditional lines of gender expression, explains Dr. Sandra Samons, a transgender specialist from Ann Arbor, Mich. Many live their lives in the gender role with which they identify most closely, with or without the help of hormones. They also may or may not undergo sex reassignment surgery.
The term "transsexual" is often used to describe those transgender people who fully live as their desired gender, Dr. Samons continued. Other people, such as cross-dressers, may have strong transgender feelings that they do not express openly or every day.
Transgender people differ from gay people, who clearly identify with their given gender, but have a different sexual orientation, noted Dr. Samons, who has authored a book on transgender individuals due out next year from Haworth Press.
Gagne came out as transgender at age 16 and began living his life as a male. Around the same time, he moved to Greenridge with his father after his parents' divorce, hoping to start a new life as Jamie. But it wasn't easy. In the halls of Tottenville High School, where he was taken for a gay male, he was called a "fag." He had trouble fitting in, he said, and never had a set group of friends.
"I try to be as outgoing as I can," Gagne said. "I feel the more friendships I try to make, the more people back away. People don't respond well to me."
When it comes to dating, Gagne said he has no problems. The self-described flirt said he usually dates bisexual women. Currently, however, he is dating a straight female and said it's the first time he's worried about a relationship. She can see past the physical, Gagne said, but he doesn't want people to think she's gay. Additionally, her family will not accept the relationship.
"Lately, being trans means hardship," said Gagne, who currently lives in Nashua, N.H. "I would love to say that I'm strong and live day to day, not allowing society to pull at my strings, but that's not the case at all."
Dr. Samons observed that there's a greater risk that a transgender person won't find someone to share their life with. "When it does happen," she said, "it's because the other person was willing to accept the transgender person on their own terms. They are attracted to the type of human being they are."
Regarding transgenderism itself, Dr. Samons observed, "I think it's far more common in its various forms than people think. Most [individuals] phase into the woodwork and live a mainstream life. Some are open about their transgender status and most are not."
ARCHIE'S STORY
Archie, a former Prince's Bay resident, was "married" to a straight woman for 10 years. The former bus driver met his now-ex-wife through her mother, who was a co-worker of his. Ironically, the mother was unaware that Archie was biologically female; she tried to break up the relationship after she found out. The couple eventually did break up, in part because Archie, still physically a woman, could not give her children the way she wanted.
Archie said he usually is apprehensive with women and waits for them to approach him. Once he knows they're interested, he will tell them he is biologically female and wait for their reaction.
Archie took hormones for some time when he was younger and even sported a full goatee. Now 55, he has hair under his chin, dark masculine eyes and tattoos of scantily clad women on his arms.
Dr. Samons explained that dating usually is easier for those who have had sex-reassignment surgery. Archie hasn't had the surgery for monetary reasons -- such surgery can cost around $40,000 and take several years to complete -- and because often the finished result does not work as well as hoped.
Archie also describes himself as a "loner," which he ascribes to being transgendered.
"I always felt like a big germ that nobody would really understand," he said. "As I got older, I took off. I didn't want to stay around my family anymore."
His family always knew he was different, Archie said. When he was a child, his mother sent him to multiple family members to "straighten him out." He also tells how a cousin once told him he was a "big genetic error."
Today, Archie said he is not very close with many family members, although his mother eventually learned to accept him. Many of those in his family assumed he was a lesbian; some still do, Archie said, adding that whenever he sees family, the "whispers" begin.
Gagne said that while his mother hasn't fully accepted the change from Adrianne to Jamie, and thinks he's "going to the extreme," she still loves him. His brothers, he said, have not adjusted and still call him Adrianne and refer to him as "she."
His main source of support, he said, is his father, who accepted him quickly.
"From day one, I wasn't going to let anything be more important than loving him for who he is," said Scott Gagne, who lives in Greenridge. "I might not have liked it or gotten used to it right away, but that's my stuff.
"I did accept it in terms of who he is as a person. He's always been a great kid ... that made things a lot easier."
His father said when Jamie was growing up, he was a bit of a tomboy, but since he had two older brothers, he never thought much of it. When he came out as trans, it was a shock, but he learned to adapt his thinking. Now Jamie is able to go to him for advice on things like dating.
"It's just the right thing to do," Scott Gagne said. "Why would I want to create a barrier between my child and I, especially when he needs his parents the most?"
Andrea Boyarsky is a features reporter for the Advance. She may be reached at boyarsky@siadvance.com.
Not comfortable with the sex they were assigned at birth, transgender people struggle with their identities
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
By ANDREA BOYARSKY
STATEN ISLAND ADVANCE
With his short, spiked hair, baggy jeans and collared shirt, Jamie Gagne appears to be your typical, young 21st-century guy.
But, although he dresses, acts and lives his life as a male, physically the former Greenridge resident is a female. Born "Adrianne" 20 years ago, Gagne identifies as a straight male. He is transgendered -- "trans" as he prefers to be called -- one of thousands like him across the country who were born one sex, but mentally identifies with the other.
Gagne said he realized he was different around age 5, when a boy attempted to kiss him. Until then, he said, he didn't recognize gender differences and didn't realize he was being perceived as a girl.
As he got older, his persistent boy-like feelings were "just something you knew were there, but weren't allowed to come out," he said.
He had crushes on girls that he never spoke about and wanted to dress like his brothers and play with their toys, but decided to go with the flow. Around age 13, Gagne came out as a lesbian, but soon learned that term did not describe his feelings or his desire to date women.
CROSSING THE LINE
The term "transgender" is an umbrella term for those who do not feel entirely comfortable with the gender assigned to them at birth and may cross traditional lines of gender expression, explains Dr. Sandra Samons, a transgender specialist from Ann Arbor, Mich. Many live their lives in the gender role with which they identify most closely, with or without the help of hormones. They also may or may not undergo sex reassignment surgery.
The term "transsexual" is often used to describe those transgender people who fully live as their desired gender, Dr. Samons continued. Other people, such as cross-dressers, may have strong transgender feelings that they do not express openly or every day.
Transgender people differ from gay people, who clearly identify with their given gender, but have a different sexual orientation, noted Dr. Samons, who has authored a book on transgender individuals due out next year from Haworth Press.
Gagne came out as transgender at age 16 and began living his life as a male. Around the same time, he moved to Greenridge with his father after his parents' divorce, hoping to start a new life as Jamie. But it wasn't easy. In the halls of Tottenville High School, where he was taken for a gay male, he was called a "fag." He had trouble fitting in, he said, and never had a set group of friends.
"I try to be as outgoing as I can," Gagne said. "I feel the more friendships I try to make, the more people back away. People don't respond well to me."
When it comes to dating, Gagne said he has no problems. The self-described flirt said he usually dates bisexual women. Currently, however, he is dating a straight female and said it's the first time he's worried about a relationship. She can see past the physical, Gagne said, but he doesn't want people to think she's gay. Additionally, her family will not accept the relationship.
"Lately, being trans means hardship," said Gagne, who currently lives in Nashua, N.H. "I would love to say that I'm strong and live day to day, not allowing society to pull at my strings, but that's not the case at all."
Dr. Samons observed that there's a greater risk that a transgender person won't find someone to share their life with. "When it does happen," she said, "it's because the other person was willing to accept the transgender person on their own terms. They are attracted to the type of human being they are."
Regarding transgenderism itself, Dr. Samons observed, "I think it's far more common in its various forms than people think. Most [individuals] phase into the woodwork and live a mainstream life. Some are open about their transgender status and most are not."
ARCHIE'S STORY
Archie, a former Prince's Bay resident, was "married" to a straight woman for 10 years. The former bus driver met his now-ex-wife through her mother, who was a co-worker of his. Ironically, the mother was unaware that Archie was biologically female; she tried to break up the relationship after she found out. The couple eventually did break up, in part because Archie, still physically a woman, could not give her children the way she wanted.
Archie said he usually is apprehensive with women and waits for them to approach him. Once he knows they're interested, he will tell them he is biologically female and wait for their reaction.
Archie took hormones for some time when he was younger and even sported a full goatee. Now 55, he has hair under his chin, dark masculine eyes and tattoos of scantily clad women on his arms.
Dr. Samons explained that dating usually is easier for those who have had sex-reassignment surgery. Archie hasn't had the surgery for monetary reasons -- such surgery can cost around $40,000 and take several years to complete -- and because often the finished result does not work as well as hoped.
Archie also describes himself as a "loner," which he ascribes to being transgendered.
"I always felt like a big germ that nobody would really understand," he said. "As I got older, I took off. I didn't want to stay around my family anymore."
His family always knew he was different, Archie said. When he was a child, his mother sent him to multiple family members to "straighten him out." He also tells how a cousin once told him he was a "big genetic error."
Today, Archie said he is not very close with many family members, although his mother eventually learned to accept him. Many of those in his family assumed he was a lesbian; some still do, Archie said, adding that whenever he sees family, the "whispers" begin.
Gagne said that while his mother hasn't fully accepted the change from Adrianne to Jamie, and thinks he's "going to the extreme," she still loves him. His brothers, he said, have not adjusted and still call him Adrianne and refer to him as "she."
His main source of support, he said, is his father, who accepted him quickly.
"From day one, I wasn't going to let anything be more important than loving him for who he is," said Scott Gagne, who lives in Greenridge. "I might not have liked it or gotten used to it right away, but that's my stuff.
"I did accept it in terms of who he is as a person. He's always been a great kid ... that made things a lot easier."
His father said when Jamie was growing up, he was a bit of a tomboy, but since he had two older brothers, he never thought much of it. When he came out as trans, it was a shock, but he learned to adapt his thinking. Now Jamie is able to go to him for advice on things like dating.
"It's just the right thing to do," Scott Gagne said. "Why would I want to create a barrier between my child and I, especially when he needs his parents the most?"
Andrea Boyarsky is a features reporter for the Advance. She may be reached at boyarsky@siadvance.com.