Wake at Dawn (with a winged heart) Ch. 6/?
Title:Wake at dawn (with a winged heart)
Author: jamie2109
Pairing: Adam/Tommy
Rating: Will be NC-17
Word count:
Warnings: None. RPF if that needs warning for.
Genre: Romance with some angst. What good is a romance without the pain of getting there? Definitely HEA fic.
Summary: There is an unseen life that dreams us. It knows our true direction and destiny. We can trust ourselves more than we realize and we need have no fear of change. ~John O'Donohue
Disclaimer: Fantasy. Not real.
Notes: My first real RPF. I've succumbed to the dark side. I'm blaming the plot bunny with the machine gun threatening dire consequences if I don't give in and write it. There are some parallels with canon, not an awful lot; mostly I've just played with things. The title is a quote from Kahlil Gibran. Big huge thank you to thrace_adams and montmorency for their support and beta work. You guys are awesome. Hopefully I'll be posting chapters twice a week but that may become once a week as my job takes over my free time.
Chapter 5
Chapter 6.
Tommy wasn't sure what woke him but when he opened his eyes it was nearing morning, as the light had bathed the room in muted colours. He snuggled back against Adam's warm body and yawned contentedly. There had never been a time in his life when he'd slept so well, so regularly, and woke up so eager to start another day, as he had been over the past year. Sleeping beside Adam for most of that time obviously was healthy for him. He smiled; Adam was healthy for him in more ways than one. The sex was always incredible with Adam and he always functioned better with regular sex. Not that he was with Adam just for the sex. The man was too big for that. Big heart, big personality, big presence, big voice, big…Tommy chuckled softly and went there… big dick. Godamned fucking big dick.
He sleepily kissed the warm skin under his cheek and pulled back a little to look at it. Big freckles, he snickered to himself. One hand slid up Adam's side and over the much loved skin that had been kissed by freckles in every place imaginable. Adam hated them, tried to cover the ones on his face as much as possible, but Tommy loved them. How could he not? They were a part of this man that he loved with everything he had.
'You're just one big freckle, aren’t you?' he whispered fondly, leaning in to kiss Adam's stomach. 'My big freckle.' He smiled and chased each one with his lips all the way down Adam's stomach, over the softness that Adam also hated and tried to exercise away at every chance.
Adam mumbled something unintelligible, moving and stretching under Tommy's lips, but not waking.
'Shh,' Tommy soothed. It wasn't often that he got the chance to just spend time studying Adam while he was asleep. Their days were so busy and at night after the show, when they did have time, they either crashed into bed, or they crashed into each other, passion trumping tenderness easily. This was a rare pleasure and Tommy wanted to take advantage of it.
Moving slowly so he didn't wake Adam, Tommy shifted down the bed and rose to his knees, pushing the covers aside. In this dim light, Adam's body was dark. Tommy could still make out every single feature, but they were softened, like seeing him through a veil. Tommy's hands splayed across Adam's chest looked black, and he smiled, flicking one of Adam's nipples with his little finger, watching enraptured as it crinkled and rose in a hard nub under his nail.
Already, Tommy's body was reacting; the steady hum of pleasure mingling with a heady sense of power. Adam's skin was silky and warm to the touch, and so relaxed, not a hint of tension in muscles that during the day were active and busy. Tommy loved Adam like this; malleable and sweet. Of course he loved Adam all the time, but this tranquil space was special.
Tommy dragged his hand down and over Adam's hip, the slight dip into the crease of his leg oddly free from freckles, highlighted in the dim light. Tommy leaned forward and pressed his lips to the soft skin, holding them there, breathing the musky scent that was so very male and familiar, until he felt the steady throb of Adam's pulse push against them.
Adam shifted slightly in his sleep and Tommy's nose brushed against Adam's soft dick. Tommy held his breath, not wanting Adam to wake just yet, but Adam didn’t move again. He exhaled, allowing himself to nuzzle into Adam's pubic hair. He knew this dick better than he knew his own, really, and he knew that once he dragged his tongue along the length, it would begin to fill with blood. Once he wrapped his lips around the head, Tommy knew that Adam would groan and be hard enough to fuck him through the mattress in seconds. Even the thought made him shiver with need and he closed his eyes and nudged Adam's cock with his nose.
Sight denied, Tommy felt surrounded by Adam's smell, and the scratchy feel of hair across his cheek, and satin smooth skin under his fingertips. Along with the sensory experience came the emotional pulse of 'mine' and 'home' and 'fuck I want him right now' and his dick ached in response. He couldn't help himself, he needed to lick the length of Adam's cock, and he chased it with his tongue as it grew slowly with each pass. Christ, he'd be lucky if he lasted until Adam woke at this rate. His body was singing with need.
Adam needed to be awake right the fuck now. Tommy groaned as he lifted Adam's cock and slid his lips over the head, pressing his tongue into the slit, mouth watering at the salty tang. No one had ever tasted quite this good. Heartbeat throbbing loudly in his ears, he was barely aware of Adam moaning and grabbing his head, tangling his fingers in Tommy's hair and holding him still while he thrust up into Tommy's mouth.
Tommy's choked gasp gave way to a strangled moan; his dick throbbed and his hands didn’t know what to do with themselves. He ended up grabbing Adam's thigh with one and his own dick with the other.
'Mine. Leave it the fuck alone,' Adam growled, making Tommy whine as he forced himself to stop stroking his cock. Tommy pulled back, despite Adam trying to keep him where he was. While he adored sucking Adam's cock until he came, that wasn't what he wanted this time. He straddled Adam's thighs and leant in, kissing him hard as he rolled his hips forward so their dicks rubbed against each other. Tommy was long past caring what sounds came out of his mouth but even his toes felt the moan when they finally made contact, all hot and sweet and tacky from the half dried saliva Tommy'd left behind.
Adam's arms came up and grabbed Tommy's ass, pulling him in and grinding against him. Predictably, Tommy's knees gave out and he dropped all his weight on Adam, their lips still joined though barely doing more than touching and breathing each other's air.
He tried bracing himself on his arms so he could get one hand in between them and around both their cocks, but they were shaky, his hips rocking hard against Adam. 'Fuck, Adam,' Tommy panted. 'Get your hand on me…fuck, please?'
'Christ…' Adam's hand felt so good on him, his fucking big hands wrapped around both of them, so tight, so fucking good, so fucking sure… Tommy groaned and his rhythm faltered, desperate for more.
'Fuck, fuck fuck…' Tommy had time to notice that there was enough light now to see Adam's striking blue eyes, before he gave a hoarse groan and came.
~~~~
Tommy gasped and sat straight up, breathing heavily, and oh so fucking hard he was aching. 'Fuck no,' he whispered roughly, eyeing the bulge between his legs that was crying out for attention. He was not, definitely not going to wank to thoughts of Adam fucking Lambert. He was not gay; he did not get turned on by men, for fuck's sake!
Except that apparently he did, was in fact hard and really needing to come. Maybe just this once… No, his head argued with his dick, not fucking happening! His head won. For now. Tommy dropped back onto his pillow, still breathing heavily, trying so hard to ignore his erection it was painful. Why was this happening to him? He should have known that sooner or later he was going to wake up in this state. His dream self had so many memories of them having sex, only it had always been in his dream self's memories. Tommy had never had to actually dream it before though, until now.
Christ, it had been good. His body cried out again with the memory of the feel of Adam under his hands, lips, and body. Tommy almost sobbed with the effort needed to stop himself from just grabbing his dick and going for it. He could wank and get it over with and NOT think about Adam, couldn’t he? Fuck…
Then that last glimpse of dream Adam's startling blue eyes in the dim light came to mind and the want hit him right in the gut. Tommy gave in and reached for himself, stroking quickly, taking barely a half dozen strokes before he cried out and came hard.
After he'd cleaned up the mess, he flopped back on his bed. What the fuck has my life come to, he asked himself. The dreams were just dreams, he knew that, but an insistent little voice in the back of his head kept telling him that he liked his dream self better. He seemed more himself in these dreams, more open, more friendly, more content, more… just more. His real life wasn't bad, boring job and family worries aside. With a guilty start he remembered he also had Beth. These dreams of a whole other life with someone else made him feel like he was cheating on her. Perhaps subconsciously he was…especially since the dream sex had overflowed into his real life and he was wanking over someone else.
And that just wasn't fair; he wanted to do the right thing by Beth. She was a nice girl and he liked her a lot. She didn't deserve a boyfriend who thought of someone else when they had sex, or rather, thought of someone else when they were wanking.
Damn it, it was just sex, right, just dreams and an accident of timing and no big deal. Tommy tried to rationalize his reaction with as little fuss as possible and vowed to stop dreaming. If he didn't sleep then he couldn't dream, right?
~~~~
Tommy's resolve lasted two days, when he dropped asleep out of exhaustion in his cubicle at the call centre. His boss sent him home telling him he looked like death warmed up, told him not to come back until he'd gotten himself clean and off whatever chemical substances he was taking. No amount of protesting that he never touched drugs made a difference, so Tommy headed home in the middle of the afternoon and fell asleep on the couch.
Funnily enough, he dreamt, but Adam wasn't in his dream.
Tommy took a few days off work, forcing himself not to sleep during the night after discovering on the second day he fell asleep in the afternoon, that Adam didn’t seem to make an appearance in his dreams when he slept during the day. He became tired and cranky around his friends due to the disturbed sleeping pattern, but at least he wasn't dreaming of Adam Lambert anymore. His life in the dreams was still awesome. The dreams jumped forward quite a lot at times - they now seemed to be traveling through Asia, New Zealand and Australia, taking the Glamnation show worldwide.
His dream self still had memories of all the shows and all the time he and Adam had spent together, and memories of how amazing Adam had been when his father finally died, but at least Adam wasn't present in his dreams. They were really like small-snap shots of things like meal times with the band while Adam was off doing an interview or something. Playing cards and drinking on the plane while flying overseas, sound check, arguing with Neil or Lane or someone about pushing Adam too hard, Sutan doing his make-up before a show. They all had one thing in common, though; in them he was the happiest he'd ever been.
Being a bit tired and cranky was a small price to pay, at least that's what he told himself. What he refused to admit was that he was missing Adam from his dreams, missing a man he didn’t know, had never met, and certainly didn't love.
Then Tommy scored a gig with one of the local bands that played at several clubs, including Iced, on a regular basis. They were looking for a guitarist to replace one that had stolen from them and disappeared. Tommy was ecstatic, as it meant he could chuck his job at the call centre and play music for a living. He kept his job at Iced, just in case, but the best part about working nights at clubs was that his sleep pattern could change permanently so that he could sleep through the day, go and see baby Evelyn in the hospital late in the afternoon, and then head out to play music at night. Beth missed out on a lot, but then he still felt guilty and like a cheat when he thought of her, so he ignored her hurt silences as best he could and tried to remember to ask her to come to the shows now and then. He wasn't always successful at that.
Even though his sleep patterns were shot to hell, he was still actually sleeping, so after a couple of weeks he felt good again, felt in control and on top of the world. His life was in a good place.
He should have known it was too good to last.
Chapter 7
Author: jamie2109
Pairing: Adam/Tommy
Rating: Will be NC-17
Word count:
Warnings: None. RPF if that needs warning for.
Genre: Romance with some angst. What good is a romance without the pain of getting there? Definitely HEA fic.
Summary: There is an unseen life that dreams us. It knows our true direction and destiny. We can trust ourselves more than we realize and we need have no fear of change. ~John O'Donohue
Disclaimer: Fantasy. Not real.
Notes: My first real RPF. I've succumbed to the dark side. I'm blaming the plot bunny with the machine gun threatening dire consequences if I don't give in and write it. There are some parallels with canon, not an awful lot; mostly I've just played with things. The title is a quote from Kahlil Gibran. Big huge thank you to thrace_adams and montmorency for their support and beta work. You guys are awesome. Hopefully I'll be posting chapters twice a week but that may become once a week as my job takes over my free time.
Chapter 5
Chapter 6.
Tommy wasn't sure what woke him but when he opened his eyes it was nearing morning, as the light had bathed the room in muted colours. He snuggled back against Adam's warm body and yawned contentedly. There had never been a time in his life when he'd slept so well, so regularly, and woke up so eager to start another day, as he had been over the past year. Sleeping beside Adam for most of that time obviously was healthy for him. He smiled; Adam was healthy for him in more ways than one. The sex was always incredible with Adam and he always functioned better with regular sex. Not that he was with Adam just for the sex. The man was too big for that. Big heart, big personality, big presence, big voice, big…Tommy chuckled softly and went there… big dick. Godamned fucking big dick.
He sleepily kissed the warm skin under his cheek and pulled back a little to look at it. Big freckles, he snickered to himself. One hand slid up Adam's side and over the much loved skin that had been kissed by freckles in every place imaginable. Adam hated them, tried to cover the ones on his face as much as possible, but Tommy loved them. How could he not? They were a part of this man that he loved with everything he had.
'You're just one big freckle, aren’t you?' he whispered fondly, leaning in to kiss Adam's stomach. 'My big freckle.' He smiled and chased each one with his lips all the way down Adam's stomach, over the softness that Adam also hated and tried to exercise away at every chance.
Adam mumbled something unintelligible, moving and stretching under Tommy's lips, but not waking.
'Shh,' Tommy soothed. It wasn't often that he got the chance to just spend time studying Adam while he was asleep. Their days were so busy and at night after the show, when they did have time, they either crashed into bed, or they crashed into each other, passion trumping tenderness easily. This was a rare pleasure and Tommy wanted to take advantage of it.
Moving slowly so he didn't wake Adam, Tommy shifted down the bed and rose to his knees, pushing the covers aside. In this dim light, Adam's body was dark. Tommy could still make out every single feature, but they were softened, like seeing him through a veil. Tommy's hands splayed across Adam's chest looked black, and he smiled, flicking one of Adam's nipples with his little finger, watching enraptured as it crinkled and rose in a hard nub under his nail.
Already, Tommy's body was reacting; the steady hum of pleasure mingling with a heady sense of power. Adam's skin was silky and warm to the touch, and so relaxed, not a hint of tension in muscles that during the day were active and busy. Tommy loved Adam like this; malleable and sweet. Of course he loved Adam all the time, but this tranquil space was special.
Tommy dragged his hand down and over Adam's hip, the slight dip into the crease of his leg oddly free from freckles, highlighted in the dim light. Tommy leaned forward and pressed his lips to the soft skin, holding them there, breathing the musky scent that was so very male and familiar, until he felt the steady throb of Adam's pulse push against them.
Adam shifted slightly in his sleep and Tommy's nose brushed against Adam's soft dick. Tommy held his breath, not wanting Adam to wake just yet, but Adam didn’t move again. He exhaled, allowing himself to nuzzle into Adam's pubic hair. He knew this dick better than he knew his own, really, and he knew that once he dragged his tongue along the length, it would begin to fill with blood. Once he wrapped his lips around the head, Tommy knew that Adam would groan and be hard enough to fuck him through the mattress in seconds. Even the thought made him shiver with need and he closed his eyes and nudged Adam's cock with his nose.
Sight denied, Tommy felt surrounded by Adam's smell, and the scratchy feel of hair across his cheek, and satin smooth skin under his fingertips. Along with the sensory experience came the emotional pulse of 'mine' and 'home' and 'fuck I want him right now' and his dick ached in response. He couldn't help himself, he needed to lick the length of Adam's cock, and he chased it with his tongue as it grew slowly with each pass. Christ, he'd be lucky if he lasted until Adam woke at this rate. His body was singing with need.
Adam needed to be awake right the fuck now. Tommy groaned as he lifted Adam's cock and slid his lips over the head, pressing his tongue into the slit, mouth watering at the salty tang. No one had ever tasted quite this good. Heartbeat throbbing loudly in his ears, he was barely aware of Adam moaning and grabbing his head, tangling his fingers in Tommy's hair and holding him still while he thrust up into Tommy's mouth.
Tommy's choked gasp gave way to a strangled moan; his dick throbbed and his hands didn’t know what to do with themselves. He ended up grabbing Adam's thigh with one and his own dick with the other.
'Mine. Leave it the fuck alone,' Adam growled, making Tommy whine as he forced himself to stop stroking his cock. Tommy pulled back, despite Adam trying to keep him where he was. While he adored sucking Adam's cock until he came, that wasn't what he wanted this time. He straddled Adam's thighs and leant in, kissing him hard as he rolled his hips forward so their dicks rubbed against each other. Tommy was long past caring what sounds came out of his mouth but even his toes felt the moan when they finally made contact, all hot and sweet and tacky from the half dried saliva Tommy'd left behind.
Adam's arms came up and grabbed Tommy's ass, pulling him in and grinding against him. Predictably, Tommy's knees gave out and he dropped all his weight on Adam, their lips still joined though barely doing more than touching and breathing each other's air.
He tried bracing himself on his arms so he could get one hand in between them and around both their cocks, but they were shaky, his hips rocking hard against Adam. 'Fuck, Adam,' Tommy panted. 'Get your hand on me…fuck, please?'
'Christ…' Adam's hand felt so good on him, his fucking big hands wrapped around both of them, so tight, so fucking good, so fucking sure… Tommy groaned and his rhythm faltered, desperate for more.
'Fuck, fuck fuck…' Tommy had time to notice that there was enough light now to see Adam's striking blue eyes, before he gave a hoarse groan and came.
~~~~
Tommy gasped and sat straight up, breathing heavily, and oh so fucking hard he was aching. 'Fuck no,' he whispered roughly, eyeing the bulge between his legs that was crying out for attention. He was not, definitely not going to wank to thoughts of Adam fucking Lambert. He was not gay; he did not get turned on by men, for fuck's sake!
Except that apparently he did, was in fact hard and really needing to come. Maybe just this once… No, his head argued with his dick, not fucking happening! His head won. For now. Tommy dropped back onto his pillow, still breathing heavily, trying so hard to ignore his erection it was painful. Why was this happening to him? He should have known that sooner or later he was going to wake up in this state. His dream self had so many memories of them having sex, only it had always been in his dream self's memories. Tommy had never had to actually dream it before though, until now.
Christ, it had been good. His body cried out again with the memory of the feel of Adam under his hands, lips, and body. Tommy almost sobbed with the effort needed to stop himself from just grabbing his dick and going for it. He could wank and get it over with and NOT think about Adam, couldn’t he? Fuck…
Then that last glimpse of dream Adam's startling blue eyes in the dim light came to mind and the want hit him right in the gut. Tommy gave in and reached for himself, stroking quickly, taking barely a half dozen strokes before he cried out and came hard.
After he'd cleaned up the mess, he flopped back on his bed. What the fuck has my life come to, he asked himself. The dreams were just dreams, he knew that, but an insistent little voice in the back of his head kept telling him that he liked his dream self better. He seemed more himself in these dreams, more open, more friendly, more content, more… just more. His real life wasn't bad, boring job and family worries aside. With a guilty start he remembered he also had Beth. These dreams of a whole other life with someone else made him feel like he was cheating on her. Perhaps subconsciously he was…especially since the dream sex had overflowed into his real life and he was wanking over someone else.
And that just wasn't fair; he wanted to do the right thing by Beth. She was a nice girl and he liked her a lot. She didn't deserve a boyfriend who thought of someone else when they had sex, or rather, thought of someone else when they were wanking.
Damn it, it was just sex, right, just dreams and an accident of timing and no big deal. Tommy tried to rationalize his reaction with as little fuss as possible and vowed to stop dreaming. If he didn't sleep then he couldn't dream, right?
~~~~
Tommy's resolve lasted two days, when he dropped asleep out of exhaustion in his cubicle at the call centre. His boss sent him home telling him he looked like death warmed up, told him not to come back until he'd gotten himself clean and off whatever chemical substances he was taking. No amount of protesting that he never touched drugs made a difference, so Tommy headed home in the middle of the afternoon and fell asleep on the couch.
Funnily enough, he dreamt, but Adam wasn't in his dream.
Tommy took a few days off work, forcing himself not to sleep during the night after discovering on the second day he fell asleep in the afternoon, that Adam didn’t seem to make an appearance in his dreams when he slept during the day. He became tired and cranky around his friends due to the disturbed sleeping pattern, but at least he wasn't dreaming of Adam Lambert anymore. His life in the dreams was still awesome. The dreams jumped forward quite a lot at times - they now seemed to be traveling through Asia, New Zealand and Australia, taking the Glamnation show worldwide.
His dream self still had memories of all the shows and all the time he and Adam had spent together, and memories of how amazing Adam had been when his father finally died, but at least Adam wasn't present in his dreams. They were really like small-snap shots of things like meal times with the band while Adam was off doing an interview or something. Playing cards and drinking on the plane while flying overseas, sound check, arguing with Neil or Lane or someone about pushing Adam too hard, Sutan doing his make-up before a show. They all had one thing in common, though; in them he was the happiest he'd ever been.
Being a bit tired and cranky was a small price to pay, at least that's what he told himself. What he refused to admit was that he was missing Adam from his dreams, missing a man he didn’t know, had never met, and certainly didn't love.
Then Tommy scored a gig with one of the local bands that played at several clubs, including Iced, on a regular basis. They were looking for a guitarist to replace one that had stolen from them and disappeared. Tommy was ecstatic, as it meant he could chuck his job at the call centre and play music for a living. He kept his job at Iced, just in case, but the best part about working nights at clubs was that his sleep pattern could change permanently so that he could sleep through the day, go and see baby Evelyn in the hospital late in the afternoon, and then head out to play music at night. Beth missed out on a lot, but then he still felt guilty and like a cheat when he thought of her, so he ignored her hurt silences as best he could and tried to remember to ask her to come to the shows now and then. He wasn't always successful at that.
Even though his sleep patterns were shot to hell, he was still actually sleeping, so after a couple of weeks he felt good again, felt in control and on top of the world. His life was in a good place.
He should have known it was too good to last.
Chapter 7