How did I get here?
I swear sometimes, more often than not, I sit and rethink how I got here. How does this take a once "sane" person to where people think YOU'RE crazy? That is something i hope one day i can grasp.
I am going for my Masters in Social Work and I want to specialize in EDs. Part of it is learning how this could happen to me, other part helping those that can't see that they need any. Thing is i have to be RECOVERED first.. I wish i was. Some days i think i am. Then there are days i continue my disordered eating, sceduling days to eat like its an appointment to the dentist. I hate that sometimes i won't eat what my son will "share" with me. I should be so happy that he even shares a cookie and I am. I will let him put it in my mouth but i spit it out afterwards. That saddens me to noo end.
Funny: my face gets swollen from chew & spit. i should just swallow!