Cats vs Dogs
>>>>Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:
>>>>
>>>>8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
>>>>9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
>>>>9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
>>>>10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
>>>>12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
>>>>1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
>>>>3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
>>>>5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
>>>>7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
>>>>8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My
>>>>favorite thing!
>>>>11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
>>>>
>>>>Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
>>>>
>>>>Day 683 of my captivity:
>>>>My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
>>>>objects.
>>>>They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I
>>>>are fed
>>>>hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for
>>>>the
>>>>rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in
>>>>order to
>>>>keep up my strength.
>>>>
>>>>The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
>>>>attempt
>>>>to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
>>>>
>>>>Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at
>>>>their feet.
>>>>I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
>>>>clearly
>>>>demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
>>>>condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
>>>>The
>>>>audacity!
>>>>
>>>>There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I
>>>>was
>>>>placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
>>>>However, I
>>>>could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
>>>>confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn
>>>>what
>>>>this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
>>>>
>>>>Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of
>>>>my
>>>>tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must
>>>>try
>>>>this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.
>>>>
>>>>I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
>>>>snitches.
>>>>The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -
>>>>and
>>>>seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously
>>>>retarded!
>>>>
>>>>The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating
>>>>with
>>>>the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.
>>>>My
>>>>captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated
>>>>cell, so
>>>>he is safe .... for now.
>>>>
>>>>8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
>>>>9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
>>>>9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
>>>>10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
>>>>12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
>>>>1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
>>>>3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
>>>>5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
>>>>7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
>>>>8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My
>>>>favorite thing!
>>>>11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
>>>>
>>>>Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
>>>>
>>>>Day 683 of my captivity:
>>>>My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
>>>>objects.
>>>>They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I
>>>>are fed
>>>>hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for
>>>>the
>>>>rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in
>>>>order to
>>>>keep up my strength.
>>>>
>>>>The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
>>>>attempt
>>>>to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
>>>>
>>>>Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at
>>>>their feet.
>>>>I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
>>>>clearly
>>>>demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
>>>>condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
>>>>The
>>>>audacity!
>>>>
>>>>There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I
>>>>was
>>>>placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
>>>>However, I
>>>>could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
>>>>confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn
>>>>what
>>>>this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
>>>>
>>>>Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of
>>>>my
>>>>tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must
>>>>try
>>>>this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.
>>>>
>>>>I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
>>>>snitches.
>>>>The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -
>>>>and
>>>>seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously
>>>>retarded!
>>>>
>>>>The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating
>>>>with
>>>>the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.
>>>>My
>>>>captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated
>>>>cell, so
>>>>he is safe .... for now.