Irrumiyawns
The Caroline Vault #2: The Yawn Destroyer
I don’t remember when it started, but a while back, I was in the midst of an extremely gratifying, 5 second + yawn when, just as it was coming to an end, I realized Jamey had put his finger in my mouth. He has since made a habit out of this. He doesn’t do it every time I yawn; maybe 1 out of every 10 when he’s nearby. It’s one of the most unnerving things a person can do to you, because the yawn is a very personal, relaxing, oxygen-acquiring experience. To have a finger in your mouth ruins the vibe of the entire thing, and the cruelest part is that you don’t even realize it’s there until you’re wrapping up the grand finale. The finger in the mouth prevents you for being about to finish the yawn, which has made me come to realize the importance of the last second of the yawn.
Jamey gets a maniacal satisfaction out of this that is comprehendible only to someone equally disturbed. The moral of the story is, if you’re trying to engage in a fulfilling yawn, be wary if Jamey is around. I’m at 23 ruined yawns and counting.
Point/Counterpoint
I don’t really have a good counterpoint to what Caroline has revealed above; it’s all true. I think it stems from a morbid curiosity of mine to see what happens when a natural motion like a yawn is disrupted by an outside force. In the same way, I’d love to find a way to keep someone’s eyes open when they sneeze.
Just this past weekend, I read a book review that discussed yawns. Apparently yawning is only contagious to about 50% of the population. Research shows that the half that yawns when they see someone else yawn or even just read the word yawn is more self-aware and empathetic. After I read this, I walked up to Caroline and yawned. I wanted to see her reaction. Unfazed, she blinked back at me. No yawn. I smuggly informed her that she has no self-awareness or empathy and went about my business.
In response, she sucker-punched me in the back of my neck.
Survivor/The Wire
With the last episode of Survivor: China airing on Sunday and the last DVD of The Wire: Season 4 in my possession, I finished both shows that day. I’ve watched most seasons of Survivor, and I think it’s pretty much the best a reality show can be. I like it when the good guys win and when people don’t stick to tribal alliances; this season didn’t meet either of those requirements, but it was still entertaining. Next season they’re pitting “super-fans” against previous Survivors, which should be interesting. With no dramas or sitcoms on the air, I bet it’ll be one of the top-rated shows on TV.
As for The Wire, you’ve already read my glowing reviews of this show. Season 4 is just as good as any of the other seasons, if not better. It’s also probably the saddest of the four seasons, mainly because some of the main characters are kids (this season delves into the inner-city school system). It’s pretty amazing to me that the show has maintained a high level of intimacy with the characters despite its ever-expanding cast. If you have some time over the winter break, watch this show. I guarantee that you’ll finally feel like you know how the ghetto works.
The Other Irruminations
As Bob pointed out on a recent post, there’s another Irruminations blog out there (http://irruminations.blogspot.com/). The similarities between our lives are remarkable: We both recently changed jobs, we both thought we were unique and special in thinking of the word “irruminations,” and we’re both retired Filipino actors and singers living in Boston and loving it. Actually, the main difference is that the other Irruminations blogger is a woman (so, “actress” would be more appropriate). In truth, it seems to be a well-written blog, much more of a journal or diary than mine. However, she managed to beat me to the punch with several excellent YouTube videos; I’m about three years behind on all popular videos and songs.
The Last Post of 2007: Operation Flaming Streets
When I moved into my condo, I was fully prepared to be a man-about-town in this rejuvenated neighborhood. I was going to go to all the meetings, be best friends with the district representative, and know the names of all of the police officers in St. Louis City (there are only three of them, so it’s not that hard to remember). Two and a half years later, I’m the least active community member here. I’m ashamed of it, but not quite ashamed enough to cancel plans to sell my condo is six months and get out of here.
However, back when I was doe-eyed and optimistic, I had an idea for improving the safety of the residents in my neighborhood. I called it Operation Flaming Streets. The idea was simple: Better sidewalk and street lighting. The streets of Pershing are dotted by these dim lights that were probably installed in the ‘70s and haven’t been cleaned since then. They give off very little light, particularly in the spring and summer when there are leaves on the trees. The streets here are very dark, and darkness gives the perception of uncertainty, which makes nighttime pedestrians feel unsafe.
My plan was to call the district representative and tell her about my idea, and a few days later the lights would be installed. Needless to say, I never made the call, so nothing ever happened.
But I have a new idea, a reigniting of Operation Flaming Streets, if you will. In Clayton, the posh, wide sidewalks are spruced up with little trees with tiny fences around them (I think they’re dog parks for teensy dogs). The trees are entwined with white Christmas lights that shine year-round. Although they don’t add much actual light to the sidewalks, the make the street look fancy, and that seems to attract fancy people to the area. So why can’t this work on Pershing? All I have to do is call the district representative after Christmas and suggest that we ask people to donate one string of white Christmas lights to the cause. Staple-gun those lights to the trees and plug them in to the numerous electrical outlets that line the sidewalks (I haven’t checked, but I can only assume they’re there), and ask for the city to foot the electric bill. It’s glitch-proof.
Seriously, I’d like for something like this to work, even though I know it won’t. Maybe Obama will do something about it in ’08.
Speaking of ’08, I’ll see you then with a bunch of lists (my favorite songs, movies, and books of 2007). Safe travels to all of you, and I wish you and your families the best.
--Jamey