TOW Special Birthday Greetings, Y'all!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VERNA!
That's right! At 4:44 in the mornin' on this day, 5 November, in 1927, everyone's favourite Red Hat Society Lady was born! [That makes her 79 years young today!]
What's up with old Verna these days, some of you may be asking? Well, I'll copy and paste this email she sent me, since she and I are so close. She can explain things better than I ever could.
Morning, Dear Friend!
I'm so pleased that you've asked me 'round to tea. You know I never was much a coffee drinker, even though all the boys did it [some girls, too and it made their teeth yellow and their breath smell and they wound up old maids---let that be a lesson to you, darlin']. How's this coming Monday work for you, darlin'? Say 'round about 3:00? I know traditional tea time is 4:00, but I like to get things done so I have more time to spend with my gentleman friend in the evenings.
Have I mentioned my gentleman friend to you before? Oh, he's simply wonderful. He's coming up for a whole week to celebrate my birthday! I'm all of a dither. My ungrateful son, George, with whom I live in Wyomissing, has begrudingly agreed to put him up in the guest house, rather than force him into sleeping in a trashy motel like was his original thought. I took that son-a-bitch child aside from his hussy of a wife and explained to him that, "Although that may be what you Yankees do, we southerners pride ourselves in our hospitality!" Living up North has hardened him somewhat, not that that was too hard to do, he was always a bit sombre, morose, even. Took after Charles in that way. No love of life, the lot of them.
Now where was I? Oh yes! My gentleman friend. His name is Vernon Harvard Bailey, and I am quite scandalized to tell you that he's a younger man! Yes! The dear has only just turned 66 this last May. But isn't that somethin'? Verna and Vernon! Oh, it's too much for words! Mind you, I'm a good, classy lady and haven't let him done more than give a goodnight peck on the cheek lips. *blushes* *clears throat* He's nice and big, like all men should be with a bushy white beard and a trimmed crop of white hair. And such an aesthetic! We met at the Philadelphia Orchestra when one of my card club friends and I, Irene Rosenberger---the one who always cheats at pinochle by stashing cards from a third deck into her knitting bag when she thinks no one's looking but makes the best damn rum cake I've ever tasted and that's why I keep her around as a friend, got a little dangerous one late June afternoon as we decided to throw caution to the wind and headed out for a "Girl's Only Evening" just like they do in the movies and on that Sexy City program, or whatever it's called. I haven't had that much fun on impulse since Luli May Baker [*crosses myself* "God Rest her Soul!"] and I snuck on over to the Percy boys' house late one night to play a rather risque game of charades and nearly got caught by that "servant" her grandfather still had butlering for him---what was his name? Sage, I think it was. No! No, it was Orange. Orange Tucker. He always wore a brown fedora for no reason, even in his butler's costume, even on his days off.
What was I saying? Oh yes! The Orchestra! They were performing a Swing Era collection including some of my favorites by Cole Porter and Count Basie, and Irene and I thought we just had to go. It was divine! Not the least for which because I met Dear Vernon during intermission; we were both waiting in line at the water cooler to take our dinner pills when some kids who I'm guessing were on a field trip set off the smoke detector. He rushed me out the door to safety. He's such a gentleman, my Dear Vernon! Then he gave me his overcoat cause it was nippy outside for a June night. I was surprised a Yankee could be so genteel, but when I was talking with him waitin' for the building to be cleared, he had a good southern drawl instead of Northern-speak. It turns out he was born in Philadelphia, lived there until the age of two, and then his parents moved him and his two brothers down to Virginia. After his wife died in a brutal car crash several years ago, he moved back up North here to be with his children. We've been keeping a friendly correspondence and have gone out to socials at the local senior center a couple of times. This Halloween we dressed as salt and pepper shakers and were the hit of the party!
I feel like I can tell you anything, even though we only that one time at the Unemployment office, but I must confess that haven't felt this way about anyone since My Brent Percy. Do you remember me telling you about him? As a girl in Savnannah, he was my most favorite beau, and the one I surely would've married. He went off to the war, along with all of his four brothers, and died. Only the two of the other boys lived, serves them right, I say, the way they always mistreated poor Brent. That's why I loved him, I think. He was mistreated and helpless and so, so, so very gentle. Now both Byrd and West are dead too. Good gracious! Can we all really be as old as we are? And to think, it was while mourning My Brent Percy's untimely demise in late 1945 that I became "in the family way" because of that affair with Luli May Baker's grandpa [crosses myself "God Rest Her Soul!"], Charles Ashby Munroe, out on the porch Christmas Eve, and had to be escorted to Mississippi to live with my mother's sister, Aunt Goldie whose Christian name was Polly, but everyone called her Goldie cause she had dark tawny-colored hair, while all her sisters had brown. Just under a year later, reputation ruined, I married Charles. I never really loved him in the way I loved Brent and now Dear Vernon, but he was kind and stolid which was odd to me and his seriousness made me laugh six times a day, and he was sweet enough to take me in when no other young gentlemen in reputable society would have me. And he did provide for me and our five children, but he never saw me naked.
Oh! It's been so long, Rachel, since you and I met at the Unemployment office, and I want to tell you that I'm gonna be a great-grandmother for the fourth time this coming February. George's son and daughter in-law Jamie---the male nurse [I tell ya, he's a soft as his father is hard] and Kelly Ann, who works with the retarded children, are expecting, FINALLY; they've been married almost two years. They're having a boy, they found out on Thursday. So that's two and two for the sexes of my great-grandchildren! I'm sending pictures of the other three darlings enclosed in this email. Joshie is walking now, and the girls aren't really doing anything very interesting as they're still young yet, but they're beautiful anyhow. And speaking of marriages, I have another busy social calendar for 2007. Although it was nothing compared to the crap I had to sit through this year. Charlie, Charles Jamie's son got married in January. Sophie and Charlotte were born. There were graduations and all sorts of other social events. I'd have been broke long already if I had bought a new frock for each one, so I just bought one gorgeous organza and crepe dress, in baby blue of course---brings out my eyes...and my hair, which I dyed to match my eyes,---and I wear it to most everything. Even the picnics. Oh, I'll dress it down a bit for those occasions with a nice pair of flat shoes and I won't wear that hat with it, neither. But I do keep the pearls on. You know, Verna likes to layer her pearls. And for my birthday, Dear Vernon bought me a new, longer strand of peach-colored pearls. I can't wait to wear them!
But yessir, 2007 is gonna be busy. I've got three weddings that I'm aware of: both the younger of Margaret's daughters, Jessica and Lucy Ann, are planning nuptuals, as is my gorgeous Elizabeth Ann, Savannah's eldest. So there will also be the showers and parties to go to, on top of that! And that's just my family! I have no idea what Vernon's children's children have going on this year. I expect between the two of us, we're gonna be quite busy!
Oh, goodness! Look at the length of this email. [I'm having my granddaughter, Jackie type it for me, she's Savannah's youngest daughter and sister to Elizabeth Ann.] If I keep this up, I'll be having nothing to talk about at tea.
Love and Lollies,
Verna J. Mulrooney
[I've stopped using Poons as my last name, now that I'm in the prime of my life, I don't want to feel tied down to Old Charles anymore.]
Charlotte Elizabeth Loughlin
Sophie Emma Dowdy-Grogg
In my opinion, that's a stupid name for child. It should've been something regal, like Clara Leona. If I'd had a third daughter, that would've been her name. And Dowdy-Grogg, HONESTLY!
Joshua Wyatt Poons
That's right! At 4:44 in the mornin' on this day, 5 November, in 1927, everyone's favourite Red Hat Society Lady was born! [That makes her 79 years young today!]
What's up with old Verna these days, some of you may be asking? Well, I'll copy and paste this email she sent me, since she and I are so close. She can explain things better than I ever could.
Morning, Dear Friend!
I'm so pleased that you've asked me 'round to tea. You know I never was much a coffee drinker, even though all the boys did it [some girls, too and it made their teeth yellow and their breath smell and they wound up old maids---let that be a lesson to you, darlin']. How's this coming Monday work for you, darlin'? Say 'round about 3:00? I know traditional tea time is 4:00, but I like to get things done so I have more time to spend with my gentleman friend in the evenings.
Have I mentioned my gentleman friend to you before? Oh, he's simply wonderful. He's coming up for a whole week to celebrate my birthday! I'm all of a dither. My ungrateful son, George, with whom I live in Wyomissing, has begrudingly agreed to put him up in the guest house, rather than force him into sleeping in a trashy motel like was his original thought. I took that son-a-bitch child aside from his hussy of a wife and explained to him that, "Although that may be what you Yankees do, we southerners pride ourselves in our hospitality!" Living up North has hardened him somewhat, not that that was too hard to do, he was always a bit sombre, morose, even. Took after Charles in that way. No love of life, the lot of them.
Now where was I? Oh yes! My gentleman friend. His name is Vernon Harvard Bailey, and I am quite scandalized to tell you that he's a younger man! Yes! The dear has only just turned 66 this last May. But isn't that somethin'? Verna and Vernon! Oh, it's too much for words! Mind you, I'm a good, classy lady and haven't let him done more than give a goodnight peck on the cheek lips. *blushes* *clears throat* He's nice and big, like all men should be with a bushy white beard and a trimmed crop of white hair. And such an aesthetic! We met at the Philadelphia Orchestra when one of my card club friends and I, Irene Rosenberger---the one who always cheats at pinochle by stashing cards from a third deck into her knitting bag when she thinks no one's looking but makes the best damn rum cake I've ever tasted and that's why I keep her around as a friend, got a little dangerous one late June afternoon as we decided to throw caution to the wind and headed out for a "Girl's Only Evening" just like they do in the movies and on that Sexy City program, or whatever it's called. I haven't had that much fun on impulse since Luli May Baker [*crosses myself* "God Rest her Soul!"] and I snuck on over to the Percy boys' house late one night to play a rather risque game of charades and nearly got caught by that "servant" her grandfather still had butlering for him---what was his name? Sage, I think it was. No! No, it was Orange. Orange Tucker. He always wore a brown fedora for no reason, even in his butler's costume, even on his days off.
What was I saying? Oh yes! The Orchestra! They were performing a Swing Era collection including some of my favorites by Cole Porter and Count Basie, and Irene and I thought we just had to go. It was divine! Not the least for which because I met Dear Vernon during intermission; we were both waiting in line at the water cooler to take our dinner pills when some kids who I'm guessing were on a field trip set off the smoke detector. He rushed me out the door to safety. He's such a gentleman, my Dear Vernon! Then he gave me his overcoat cause it was nippy outside for a June night. I was surprised a Yankee could be so genteel, but when I was talking with him waitin' for the building to be cleared, he had a good southern drawl instead of Northern-speak. It turns out he was born in Philadelphia, lived there until the age of two, and then his parents moved him and his two brothers down to Virginia. After his wife died in a brutal car crash several years ago, he moved back up North here to be with his children. We've been keeping a friendly correspondence and have gone out to socials at the local senior center a couple of times. This Halloween we dressed as salt and pepper shakers and were the hit of the party!
I feel like I can tell you anything, even though we only that one time at the Unemployment office, but I must confess that haven't felt this way about anyone since My Brent Percy. Do you remember me telling you about him? As a girl in Savnannah, he was my most favorite beau, and the one I surely would've married. He went off to the war, along with all of his four brothers, and died. Only the two of the other boys lived, serves them right, I say, the way they always mistreated poor Brent. That's why I loved him, I think. He was mistreated and helpless and so, so, so very gentle. Now both Byrd and West are dead too. Good gracious! Can we all really be as old as we are? And to think, it was while mourning My Brent Percy's untimely demise in late 1945 that I became "in the family way" because of that affair with Luli May Baker's grandpa [crosses myself "God Rest Her Soul!"], Charles Ashby Munroe, out on the porch Christmas Eve, and had to be escorted to Mississippi to live with my mother's sister, Aunt Goldie whose Christian name was Polly, but everyone called her Goldie cause she had dark tawny-colored hair, while all her sisters had brown. Just under a year later, reputation ruined, I married Charles. I never really loved him in the way I loved Brent and now Dear Vernon, but he was kind and stolid which was odd to me and his seriousness made me laugh six times a day, and he was sweet enough to take me in when no other young gentlemen in reputable society would have me. And he did provide for me and our five children, but he never saw me naked.
Oh! It's been so long, Rachel, since you and I met at the Unemployment office, and I want to tell you that I'm gonna be a great-grandmother for the fourth time this coming February. George's son and daughter in-law Jamie---the male nurse [I tell ya, he's a soft as his father is hard] and Kelly Ann, who works with the retarded children, are expecting, FINALLY; they've been married almost two years. They're having a boy, they found out on Thursday. So that's two and two for the sexes of my great-grandchildren! I'm sending pictures of the other three darlings enclosed in this email. Joshie is walking now, and the girls aren't really doing anything very interesting as they're still young yet, but they're beautiful anyhow. And speaking of marriages, I have another busy social calendar for 2007. Although it was nothing compared to the crap I had to sit through this year. Charlie, Charles Jamie's son got married in January. Sophie and Charlotte were born. There were graduations and all sorts of other social events. I'd have been broke long already if I had bought a new frock for each one, so I just bought one gorgeous organza and crepe dress, in baby blue of course---brings out my eyes...and my hair, which I dyed to match my eyes,---and I wear it to most everything. Even the picnics. Oh, I'll dress it down a bit for those occasions with a nice pair of flat shoes and I won't wear that hat with it, neither. But I do keep the pearls on. You know, Verna likes to layer her pearls. And for my birthday, Dear Vernon bought me a new, longer strand of peach-colored pearls. I can't wait to wear them!
But yessir, 2007 is gonna be busy. I've got three weddings that I'm aware of: both the younger of Margaret's daughters, Jessica and Lucy Ann, are planning nuptuals, as is my gorgeous Elizabeth Ann, Savannah's eldest. So there will also be the showers and parties to go to, on top of that! And that's just my family! I have no idea what Vernon's children's children have going on this year. I expect between the two of us, we're gonna be quite busy!
Oh, goodness! Look at the length of this email. [I'm having my granddaughter, Jackie type it for me, she's Savannah's youngest daughter and sister to Elizabeth Ann.] If I keep this up, I'll be having nothing to talk about at tea.
Love and Lollies,
Verna J. Mulrooney
[I've stopped using Poons as my last name, now that I'm in the prime of my life, I don't want to feel tied down to Old Charles anymore.]
Charlotte Elizabeth Loughlin
Sophie Emma Dowdy-Grogg
In my opinion, that's a stupid name for child. It should've been something regal, like Clara Leona. If I'd had a third daughter, that would've been her name. And Dowdy-Grogg, HONESTLY!
Joshua Wyatt Poons