IDK
Wow, The last Week has SUCKED. REALLY BAD. 1st i buy a Truck... It breaks down... I got this chick from works house.... She gets me "ready" then tells me she's on her period, yeah that leads to Blue Balls sorry to be graphic but it does. Then at Work today everybody starts rumors about me and that girl at work "we work together" so she's gets pissed...Then i miss the last Bus of the day and i have to walk from Mcdonalds to My house....Long ass walk.
Man i'm just so stressed at the moment it's crazy. I just wanna get on a Plane fly to somewhere random and STARTOVER i'm done with drama,The People, the Places and everything about this place. I just wanna go. Leave get out stay out. Theres no Future here no purpose here yall dont understand how much i really hate this place. It feels like i'm running in circles here.
Next Topic i need some new friends... I mean i'm still cool wit all the old ones but we dont hang out anymore just kinda drifted apart... I mean Friday i was with that girl and yesterday i stayed home like everyweekend before that... But i'm going to Spring Break with The gang but once we get back it'll proable be back to normal, them back with there G/f's all the time and be stuck at home by myself... And know i'm not wanting eveyone to fell sorry for me i'm just letting off steam....
Well My dads out of prison... Which probaly means he's gonna try and come back here and i'm still so mad at him if i see him i may do something stupid.... I've put him in the hospital once and i'm alot bigger and Madder now... Eveyones keeps telling me to let the past go and forgive him. But what he did is fucked up it fucked me up and my life so far... My credit is Screwed b/c him and thats why i have no bank account, no Cell, no nice car/or car that runs, and all that, and when he told me i was a mistake and he wished he used a condom when he fucked my mom it was done right there... that felt like my heart was ripped out and stepped on over and over. I still here that in my head
My Life is seriously going nowhere but DOWN idk my head is spinning... I wake up pissed off b/c i know that the day is gonna suck... the only thing i do anymore, i mean out of everywaking min of the day the only thing i can do to get my mind off of eveything is to play basketball... For somereason when i'm on the court or at the gym i forget about everything thats borthering me... but i cant be there 24 hours a day. I feel like my heads gonna explode... I hope to god that after spring break things start to look up for me... I thought there were the truck, the girl, Just everything i was in a good mood every day, but everything just went str8 to hell in a matter of a week and is worse than before...
Man i'm running out of stuff to type but i still feel like shit and i'm just,it's insane right now how stressed i'm am... I'm so ready to leave i cant stress it enuff... it feels like my life is just flying by and i'm missing it. Next thing i know i'm be 30 or 40 and proable some kinda loser or something... It feels like the world is agiasnt me, i know it's not but it feel like it's all odds on my to lose... like if this was vegas there'd be a 0 to 100 chance on me being something... Like God has his foot on me and i cant advance. I'm almost at a nervious break down or about to just go crazy... I cant take this anymore.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
THATS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DAMNIT havent got anything to type but i just wont to type away about every second of my life but no one would read it no one would have time... I just need to start over. Wipe everyones memory of me and reintroduce myself to everyone... Myabe i wont be the "FREIND" guy to everygirl... Maybe i wouldnt be a Nobody that knows people but know one knows me... Maybe i wouldnt be James the 19 yo guy that lives with his rent dosent have a phone or a reliable car... Damn i wish i could just wake up and be a completely different person and every memmory that i have form the 1st one to the last one would all be a dream... damnit i cant explain this, I'm at the edge of sanity i'm so confused, mad, sad, stressed, and alot of other shit i cant even explain...
I'm going to get into my bed and stare at the wall or draw or write or something and try to get this off my mind my brain is racked and it's not one or two things it's so many things all combined your mind can only take so much and i'm at the limit... i need help...
Man i'm just so stressed at the moment it's crazy. I just wanna get on a Plane fly to somewhere random and STARTOVER i'm done with drama,The People, the Places and everything about this place. I just wanna go. Leave get out stay out. Theres no Future here no purpose here yall dont understand how much i really hate this place. It feels like i'm running in circles here.
Next Topic i need some new friends... I mean i'm still cool wit all the old ones but we dont hang out anymore just kinda drifted apart... I mean Friday i was with that girl and yesterday i stayed home like everyweekend before that... But i'm going to Spring Break with The gang but once we get back it'll proable be back to normal, them back with there G/f's all the time and be stuck at home by myself... And know i'm not wanting eveyone to fell sorry for me i'm just letting off steam....
Well My dads out of prison... Which probaly means he's gonna try and come back here and i'm still so mad at him if i see him i may do something stupid.... I've put him in the hospital once and i'm alot bigger and Madder now... Eveyones keeps telling me to let the past go and forgive him. But what he did is fucked up it fucked me up and my life so far... My credit is Screwed b/c him and thats why i have no bank account, no Cell, no nice car/or car that runs, and all that, and when he told me i was a mistake and he wished he used a condom when he fucked my mom it was done right there... that felt like my heart was ripped out and stepped on over and over. I still here that in my head
My Life is seriously going nowhere but DOWN idk my head is spinning... I wake up pissed off b/c i know that the day is gonna suck... the only thing i do anymore, i mean out of everywaking min of the day the only thing i can do to get my mind off of eveything is to play basketball... For somereason when i'm on the court or at the gym i forget about everything thats borthering me... but i cant be there 24 hours a day. I feel like my heads gonna explode... I hope to god that after spring break things start to look up for me... I thought there were the truck, the girl, Just everything i was in a good mood every day, but everything just went str8 to hell in a matter of a week and is worse than before...
Man i'm running out of stuff to type but i still feel like shit and i'm just,it's insane right now how stressed i'm am... I'm so ready to leave i cant stress it enuff... it feels like my life is just flying by and i'm missing it. Next thing i know i'm be 30 or 40 and proable some kinda loser or something... It feels like the world is agiasnt me, i know it's not but it feel like it's all odds on my to lose... like if this was vegas there'd be a 0 to 100 chance on me being something... Like God has his foot on me and i cant advance. I'm almost at a nervious break down or about to just go crazy... I cant take this anymore.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
THATS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DAMNIT havent got anything to type but i just wont to type away about every second of my life but no one would read it no one would have time... I just need to start over. Wipe everyones memory of me and reintroduce myself to everyone... Myabe i wont be the "FREIND" guy to everygirl... Maybe i wouldnt be a Nobody that knows people but know one knows me... Maybe i wouldnt be James the 19 yo guy that lives with his rent dosent have a phone or a reliable car... Damn i wish i could just wake up and be a completely different person and every memmory that i have form the 1st one to the last one would all be a dream... damnit i cant explain this, I'm at the edge of sanity i'm so confused, mad, sad, stressed, and alot of other shit i cant even explain...
I'm going to get into my bed and stare at the wall or draw or write or something and try to get this off my mind my brain is racked and it's not one or two things it's so many things all combined your mind can only take so much and i'm at the limit... i need help...