Shit hit the fan...... oh boy
"beauty queen of only eighteen she had some trouble with herself, he
was always there to help her she always belonged to someone else, I
drove for miles and miles and miles and wound up at your door, I've
had you so many times but somehow I want more, I don't mind spending
everyday out on the corner in the pouring rain, look for the girl
with the broken smile ask her if she wants to stay awile... and she
will be loved .... she will be loved......"
its like the time I was completly happy and then this song came on
and it was like a shot of instantaneous unhappiness that was taken.
so weird how certain songs can trigger such feelings of hopelessness
that you want to have someone near you in a new york minute so bad that
it hurts your insides because you're trying so hard not to cry.
sometimes I don't even know if I can relate to myself given the things
that have transpired. joy is infatuated with someone, sara is "dating"
someone, jennifer is still with DJ (who I might add still scares me and
no it's most definitly not a racial thing).
everywhere I look there is something to mock me. my question is
when am i going to get to join in on the mocking if that makes any
sense whatsoever. i know i have had many chances to be with someone and
per se be happy but it just never seemed to be the right time or the
right person. one would be a freak, one would be overly dedicated to
something (not that it is a bad thing you can never be too dedicated to
something) and one who seemingly cared enough to never call?!?
several things are obvious at this particular point in time. one i need a
vehicle badly, two i need to get a new job after what happened today I'm
not too sure that I'll have one tomorrow. that in itself ha ha ha was a
joke to say the least.
The place I work for as they so eloquently put it is a "distributor of
information" well we get monitored 10 calls every week. It just so happened
that after one of my last calls today i muttered into my mic "you fucking bitch."
Now I knew this lady was not on the line anymore it had gone dead plus the line
indicator had let signaling that i was available for a call. well QA was
listening and heard what I said needless to say it sparked some not so
friendly or "cutomer oriented" thoughts in regards to me personally so I got
sent home.... whooop de fricking do...
I like working there I really do but what I am itching to do is go back to
school and get a "Real" job. One where I won't be just some little peon that
someone else will step on to get to the top. And after last week I am actually
very tempted to quit working and go to school to become and EMT.
I don't know so many choices so little resources.. ah the story of the human
race.
By the way recommended reading in case you haven't already
"Ishmael" by Daniel Quinn A++++++++++ book in my opinion.
was always there to help her she always belonged to someone else, I
drove for miles and miles and miles and wound up at your door, I've
had you so many times but somehow I want more, I don't mind spending
everyday out on the corner in the pouring rain, look for the girl
with the broken smile ask her if she wants to stay awile... and she
will be loved .... she will be loved......"
its like the time I was completly happy and then this song came on
and it was like a shot of instantaneous unhappiness that was taken.
so weird how certain songs can trigger such feelings of hopelessness
that you want to have someone near you in a new york minute so bad that
it hurts your insides because you're trying so hard not to cry.
sometimes I don't even know if I can relate to myself given the things
that have transpired. joy is infatuated with someone, sara is "dating"
someone, jennifer is still with DJ (who I might add still scares me and
no it's most definitly not a racial thing).
everywhere I look there is something to mock me. my question is
when am i going to get to join in on the mocking if that makes any
sense whatsoever. i know i have had many chances to be with someone and
per se be happy but it just never seemed to be the right time or the
right person. one would be a freak, one would be overly dedicated to
something (not that it is a bad thing you can never be too dedicated to
something) and one who seemingly cared enough to never call?!?
several things are obvious at this particular point in time. one i need a
vehicle badly, two i need to get a new job after what happened today I'm
not too sure that I'll have one tomorrow. that in itself ha ha ha was a
joke to say the least.
The place I work for as they so eloquently put it is a "distributor of
information" well we get monitored 10 calls every week. It just so happened
that after one of my last calls today i muttered into my mic "you fucking bitch."
Now I knew this lady was not on the line anymore it had gone dead plus the line
indicator had let signaling that i was available for a call. well QA was
listening and heard what I said needless to say it sparked some not so
friendly or "cutomer oriented" thoughts in regards to me personally so I got
sent home.... whooop de fricking do...
I like working there I really do but what I am itching to do is go back to
school and get a "Real" job. One where I won't be just some little peon that
someone else will step on to get to the top. And after last week I am actually
very tempted to quit working and go to school to become and EMT.
I don't know so many choices so little resources.. ah the story of the human
race.
By the way recommended reading in case you haven't already
"Ishmael" by Daniel Quinn A++++++++++ book in my opinion.