Heart Broken, Hope Diminished
Over the weekends, I was hurted again and again.
Adrian finally came back from Redang. He finally messaged me on Saturday around evening time.
His message was simple - I am back from Redang. There was no line connection in Redang. Are you going to Orange tonight? What the fuck? Unheard of for so many days, now sent me this message just to ask me that? Going to Orange for party? Is party so important to him? I wish I know better but I don't.
Anyway, I didn't reply to his message. It's too much for me to handle. He was away for so many days, when he returned, he only had that much to say to me, how minute I am to him? How important I am in his heart? It's obvious. I need not to explain.
No phone line connection in Redang? How ridiculous! If I were born three years ago, I might think that people in Redang are still living on trees, rhinoceros and giraffes are still roaming freely. People are still dealing in barter trade, money is foreign, game is the norm.
BUT, I weren't born 3 years ago, I was born almost three decades ago!
He saw me in Orange, knew that I was mad, true enough I am, crazy madly mad at him! He told me his residence was in between two big tall mountains and even offered me the Resort's contact number to call to clarify.
Wow, he was not living on trees, but in between two big mountains, there ain't any animals roaming around but two love birds, on a vacation. Connection was down, but contact number to the resort was offered. Barter trade is not common, but making out in between two mountains is!
Well, I am once again, defeated, wounded and dumbfounded. I am lost for words for him.
I kept my cool and distance from him in Orange. I was cold towards him, he noticed it and he kept his distance too. A space just enough for another person to stand in between. There "He" came. Slotting himself just between he and I. How wonderful! How appropriate! The Hongky, out of no where, came between just in time.
Before he left the club, he muttered something to my ears, plunged a kiss on my face, followed by rushing off quickly. Unknown to what does that kiss mean?I was once again, left alone.
I later found out from Alex, a mutual friend, he was having quite a bad stomache upset that night, and wasn't feeling very well. Upon hearing the news, my heart softened, I should have been nicer to him. But, I didn't.
Feeling remorseful? NO. I should NOT.
When the party was over, and I was about to drive home, I was told there was a road block just directly outside the club. Damn, I drank and driving was not exactly very conducive, I decided to rest in the car. Seeing the crowd slowly dispersed, I felt lonely and helpless.
Asking myself in the car, who should I ask for to come for rescue, the first person I thought of was Adrain. Hesitated but still messaged him for rescue, needless to say, it was another disappointment. He was just nearby, somewhere around Pudu Raya, sleeping over at that Hongky friend's hotel, also the same guy or should I say bitch, that he went Redang with. He knew I was drinking, he knew I was incapable of driving, but did he know that on top of all that, I still miss him and want to see him - alone and not disturbed?
But he chose hotel comfort, and maybe also sex again with the Hongky guy before he returned to Hongkong over the risk of me, being caught by police for drunk drinking. He has once again proven to me the opposite of his words for me - I am serious about you.
He did not come. But called me again about 10 min later. Seeing the second call from him, I thought I saw hope coming on, shortly, the hope was bleaked and diminished eventually. The second conversation with him was short, hurtful and meaningless.
Wounded and hope diminished, I waited again in the car. Someone came to me, offered a shelter for the night in exchanged for a FUCK IN MY ASS.
Agreed and now regretted.
Came back the Sunday morning, was hurt even deeper, severely wounded.
Helpless. Exhausted. I slept immediately.
When I woke up. 1 missed call, two messages. Both were from him. Asking me how was I?
Wanting to hurt him, I told him what happened after his second call last night. Followed by telling him the moment I was entered, my heart for him shattered. His number would be erased, memory of him reset. Should he have come, thing would be different.
His number erased. Act on impluse? NO. I am serious.
He apologised for hurting me and claimed his feeling for me is true, he is serious about me. I do not believe so chose to ignore.
Stupidity. Lousier revenge tactic. I am dumb.
Still, his message kept. Reluctant to erase this time.
It was Sunday evening, I wrote him another message telling him to drive safely home. His replied was short and sweet: I am glad you still message me. I am leaving tomorrow - Monday noon.
HURT BIG TIME. He was leaving KL for Malacca only on Monday noon, that was to mean, his Hongky friend would be leaving on Monday too, then why didn't he come to rescue me on Saturday night? Was he really too sick due to the diarrhea? Which I doubt so because from the tele-conversation with him, he sounded okay. Then he must he too caught up making out again with his Hongky friend before he returned to Hongkong! If that was the reason, then why can't he take that 2 hours off, since he has the whole Sunday for it?
I am once again more determined and confirmed of his words for me: I am serious about you was a scam!
To solve my puzzle further, I therefore messaged him one more, asking him, has he ever slept with his Hongky friend be it in Redang or KL? His reply, also why I said his word for me: I am serious about you was a scam.
" Yes or No is not the issue. The issue is I am serious about you!"
" So the answer is YES. Thank you. It hurts. "
" No Point Crying Over For A Man You Love, Because The Man Who Loves You, Won't Make You Cry. "
Adrian finally came back from Redang. He finally messaged me on Saturday around evening time.
His message was simple - I am back from Redang. There was no line connection in Redang. Are you going to Orange tonight? What the fuck? Unheard of for so many days, now sent me this message just to ask me that? Going to Orange for party? Is party so important to him? I wish I know better but I don't.
Anyway, I didn't reply to his message. It's too much for me to handle. He was away for so many days, when he returned, he only had that much to say to me, how minute I am to him? How important I am in his heart? It's obvious. I need not to explain.
No phone line connection in Redang? How ridiculous! If I were born three years ago, I might think that people in Redang are still living on trees, rhinoceros and giraffes are still roaming freely. People are still dealing in barter trade, money is foreign, game is the norm.
BUT, I weren't born 3 years ago, I was born almost three decades ago!
He saw me in Orange, knew that I was mad, true enough I am, crazy madly mad at him! He told me his residence was in between two big tall mountains and even offered me the Resort's contact number to call to clarify.
Wow, he was not living on trees, but in between two big mountains, there ain't any animals roaming around but two love birds, on a vacation. Connection was down, but contact number to the resort was offered. Barter trade is not common, but making out in between two mountains is!
Well, I am once again, defeated, wounded and dumbfounded. I am lost for words for him.
I kept my cool and distance from him in Orange. I was cold towards him, he noticed it and he kept his distance too. A space just enough for another person to stand in between. There "He" came. Slotting himself just between he and I. How wonderful! How appropriate! The Hongky, out of no where, came between just in time.
Before he left the club, he muttered something to my ears, plunged a kiss on my face, followed by rushing off quickly. Unknown to what does that kiss mean?I was once again, left alone.
I later found out from Alex, a mutual friend, he was having quite a bad stomache upset that night, and wasn't feeling very well. Upon hearing the news, my heart softened, I should have been nicer to him. But, I didn't.
Feeling remorseful? NO. I should NOT.
When the party was over, and I was about to drive home, I was told there was a road block just directly outside the club. Damn, I drank and driving was not exactly very conducive, I decided to rest in the car. Seeing the crowd slowly dispersed, I felt lonely and helpless.
Asking myself in the car, who should I ask for to come for rescue, the first person I thought of was Adrain. Hesitated but still messaged him for rescue, needless to say, it was another disappointment. He was just nearby, somewhere around Pudu Raya, sleeping over at that Hongky friend's hotel, also the same guy or should I say bitch, that he went Redang with. He knew I was drinking, he knew I was incapable of driving, but did he know that on top of all that, I still miss him and want to see him - alone and not disturbed?
But he chose hotel comfort, and maybe also sex again with the Hongky guy before he returned to Hongkong over the risk of me, being caught by police for drunk drinking. He has once again proven to me the opposite of his words for me - I am serious about you.
He did not come. But called me again about 10 min later. Seeing the second call from him, I thought I saw hope coming on, shortly, the hope was bleaked and diminished eventually. The second conversation with him was short, hurtful and meaningless.
Wounded and hope diminished, I waited again in the car. Someone came to me, offered a shelter for the night in exchanged for a FUCK IN MY ASS.
Agreed and now regretted.
Came back the Sunday morning, was hurt even deeper, severely wounded.
Helpless. Exhausted. I slept immediately.
When I woke up. 1 missed call, two messages. Both were from him. Asking me how was I?
Wanting to hurt him, I told him what happened after his second call last night. Followed by telling him the moment I was entered, my heart for him shattered. His number would be erased, memory of him reset. Should he have come, thing would be different.
His number erased. Act on impluse? NO. I am serious.
He apologised for hurting me and claimed his feeling for me is true, he is serious about me. I do not believe so chose to ignore.
Stupidity. Lousier revenge tactic. I am dumb.
Still, his message kept. Reluctant to erase this time.
It was Sunday evening, I wrote him another message telling him to drive safely home. His replied was short and sweet: I am glad you still message me. I am leaving tomorrow - Monday noon.
HURT BIG TIME. He was leaving KL for Malacca only on Monday noon, that was to mean, his Hongky friend would be leaving on Monday too, then why didn't he come to rescue me on Saturday night? Was he really too sick due to the diarrhea? Which I doubt so because from the tele-conversation with him, he sounded okay. Then he must he too caught up making out again with his Hongky friend before he returned to Hongkong! If that was the reason, then why can't he take that 2 hours off, since he has the whole Sunday for it?
I am once again more determined and confirmed of his words for me: I am serious about you was a scam!
To solve my puzzle further, I therefore messaged him one more, asking him, has he ever slept with his Hongky friend be it in Redang or KL? His reply, also why I said his word for me: I am serious about you was a scam.
" Yes or No is not the issue. The issue is I am serious about you!"
" So the answer is YES. Thank you. It hurts. "
" No Point Crying Over For A Man You Love, Because The Man Who Loves You, Won't Make You Cry. "