Damn Dirty Apes
You know what I hate? Gorillas. I know that they're admired, but what I hate is their faces. Even bovine faces aren't that ugly. There's just something about the ape face that strikes me as more horrifically ugly than anything you could have a nightmare about. The ape face is obnoxiously ugly. No wonder our ancestors evolved. Nothing wants to look like that. No wonder eye contact makes gorillas violent. They can't look at each other. It's as if, unlike any creature, cute or frightening, the gorilla in particular was designed by a retarded demon from the lower circles of Hell. I'll bet if you met a retarded demon, he'd look something like a gorilla.