the chair
i felt so sorry for dave and justin. Because of some conflicts i had with stan, they have to stay up all night to accompany me on the mahjong table. It seems that was the only way to take my minds off the emotions provoked.
We do have a serious gap on our values. I was very upset for his complaints but i held on to it. I knew that my rebuttal will never convince him especially when he was being mad on small issues, which he vented and cried out loud for attention, or "respect" in his claims.
Justin, gil, sam and i were sitting in cafe trying to kill time before our next appointment. Stan called and he had done with muscle expanding, aka gym, i asked him to join us. Our chat went on with loads of fun and laughter, it was pretty long before we noticed that stan had arrived and was sitting on the table next to us. Our square table located in the corner and was quite packed. Justin and i tried to make space for him and adding a chair in. With certainly no precautious warning, his temper was raising to a alarming level. Insensitive me? i was still joking around and introducing him to gil and sam. He sat down and I waved to the waiter to get us menu. This guy saw me but was interrupted by another customer. So, my hand was left in the air and stan was staring at the server for negligence of the first come first serve guidelines. Five seconds went by, the server had not finished with the customer still. Stan stood up and stormed towards the server station, grabbed two sets of menu and slammed on the neighbor's table in front of the customer and the server before he got back to his place.
I was stunned. no, all of us were. I quickly joked about it, so the dead silence wont last too long. Stan was furious. I told him to cool down a bit. But, his rage had gone beyond the level that he could control. It was like a double dosage of stimulant to his anger. Luckily, the uncomfortable moment was soon forgotten.
after the session, I tried to approach him so that he would control his emotions since i really had no idea on how to react to his sudden actions. Then he told me the real problem -- I wasnt caring enough to save a seat and grab the menu for him before his arrival. None of us actually timely acknowledged his arrival and left him sitting on the next table. He got pissed because this is not the only time, my high school friends didnt react during our last gathering. So the poor waiter was pure unlucky rabbit who got the jackpot.
He cares a lot for that issue. But honestly, to me, wth? It was just some adjustment we all need to make in everyday social life. Taking a chair and try to squeeze into the crowd isnt degrading. Why the emotions? Ok, even if it is an issue, why take it out on some unrelated person? the server's tardy response is not fatal, and if you would only put yourself into his shoe, how would you feel? he is just doing his job! for goodness sake.
Now i do have a problem with his actions. It made me uncomfortable, but honestly, embarrassed would fit better. I didnt know how to react to that awkward situation. Gosh, only if you were in the scene. Was i that uncaring? forgetting your chair and your menu? Ok, if you set everything before i arrive, you are definitely a caring sweetheart; but without it, you are far far far away from being a uncaring jerk. It's just a god damn chair.
I felt that it was his serious demand for my extra attention and i should comply to it. Fine, i will grab a seat for him, but i will never be able to agree with him on that. For one thing, he should be able to figure out a way to make himself comfortable among friends when he is 29. Sorry if i make age an issue, but it certainly has an urgency to evaluate the so called conviction and persistence.
We do have a serious gap on our values. I was very upset for his complaints but i held on to it. I knew that my rebuttal will never convince him especially when he was being mad on small issues, which he vented and cried out loud for attention, or "respect" in his claims.
Justin, gil, sam and i were sitting in cafe trying to kill time before our next appointment. Stan called and he had done with muscle expanding, aka gym, i asked him to join us. Our chat went on with loads of fun and laughter, it was pretty long before we noticed that stan had arrived and was sitting on the table next to us. Our square table located in the corner and was quite packed. Justin and i tried to make space for him and adding a chair in. With certainly no precautious warning, his temper was raising to a alarming level. Insensitive me? i was still joking around and introducing him to gil and sam. He sat down and I waved to the waiter to get us menu. This guy saw me but was interrupted by another customer. So, my hand was left in the air and stan was staring at the server for negligence of the first come first serve guidelines. Five seconds went by, the server had not finished with the customer still. Stan stood up and stormed towards the server station, grabbed two sets of menu and slammed on the neighbor's table in front of the customer and the server before he got back to his place.
I was stunned. no, all of us were. I quickly joked about it, so the dead silence wont last too long. Stan was furious. I told him to cool down a bit. But, his rage had gone beyond the level that he could control. It was like a double dosage of stimulant to his anger. Luckily, the uncomfortable moment was soon forgotten.
after the session, I tried to approach him so that he would control his emotions since i really had no idea on how to react to his sudden actions. Then he told me the real problem -- I wasnt caring enough to save a seat and grab the menu for him before his arrival. None of us actually timely acknowledged his arrival and left him sitting on the next table. He got pissed because this is not the only time, my high school friends didnt react during our last gathering. So the poor waiter was pure unlucky rabbit who got the jackpot.
He cares a lot for that issue. But honestly, to me, wth? It was just some adjustment we all need to make in everyday social life. Taking a chair and try to squeeze into the crowd isnt degrading. Why the emotions? Ok, even if it is an issue, why take it out on some unrelated person? the server's tardy response is not fatal, and if you would only put yourself into his shoe, how would you feel? he is just doing his job! for goodness sake.
Now i do have a problem with his actions. It made me uncomfortable, but honestly, embarrassed would fit better. I didnt know how to react to that awkward situation. Gosh, only if you were in the scene. Was i that uncaring? forgetting your chair and your menu? Ok, if you set everything before i arrive, you are definitely a caring sweetheart; but without it, you are far far far away from being a uncaring jerk. It's just a god damn chair.
I felt that it was his serious demand for my extra attention and i should comply to it. Fine, i will grab a seat for him, but i will never be able to agree with him on that. For one thing, he should be able to figure out a way to make himself comfortable among friends when he is 29. Sorry if i make age an issue, but it certainly has an urgency to evaluate the so called conviction and persistence.