The Reconciliation
‘James,’ said Sirius, quietly.
‘I know, Padfoot - I know - you didn’t mean any harm. But you don’t know what could have happened! If Remus had bitten Snape, Remus would have been executed. You would have been sent to Azkaban. Snape would have either died or remained a werewolf for the rest of his life!’ said James. ‘It was so dangerous! And here I thought you had some sense.’
‘Jamie, I only wanted to frighten him, honest! I didn’t think Remus would bite -’
‘-Snape, but you hoped he would,’ finished James, grimly. ‘So that Remus was condemned to death, you sent to Azkaban, and of course - Snape dead. Nice, Padfoot, really nice.’
‘JAMIE! I’d never hope things like that about anyone, not even Snape! I -’ Sirius broke off, sobbing. Then, without looking at James’s slightly perplexed face, he ran away.
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‘Prongs, seen Padfoot today? I can’t find him anywhere, and I’ve got to give him his Transfiguration parchment - the one where he wrote the test - he’s the only one who has got fifty out of fifty in it. I got forty-six, Pete got thirty, and you got forty-five.’
‘Wow, Moony! So you’re actually not top in a test…’
‘Oh, shut up….anyway, seen Pads?’
‘Nope, I haven’t,’ said James, slight guilt and worry coiling inside his stomach. ‘Why, isn’t he is in the Quidditch grounds?’
‘Of course he isn’t, I checked them first! Give this to him when you see him, will you?’
Remus went away, leaving James to wallow in his thoughts.
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Sirius lay on his stomach on the large four-poster bed, gazing out of the window. Jamie doesn’t love me anymore……Jamie hates me….Moony hates me…..
‘It’s my own fault,’ he thought, sadly. ‘I’ve been so stupid! Of course they hate me. Dad and Mum too…I’ve been an unworthy son to them….an unworthy friend to Jamie and Moony…how could I let Lucius get his way? Abuse me like that? Sev, why did you tell them to get the secret out of me like that? Why? What have I done?’
He walked quietly to the door, pulled it open and slowly walked away to the sapphire staircase, down thirty stairs, rounded three corners to the right, walked through seven corridors and then said, ‘Camedium’ to the Fussy Lady in the Portrait. She swung her waist-length reddish-blonde hair away from her face and narrowed her sapphire-blue eyes at him, saying, ‘Where were you, all day? Your friends were searching for you.’
‘Just loitering, Mavis,’ he answered, truthfully.
‘I might as well get it over with, once and for all,’ he thought. He popped inside the dormitory, placed his parchments and school-satchel on his bed and went out again. He went straight to the Astronomy Tower.
He leant over the banisters. There was Hagrid’s hut visible in the distance. The Forbidden Forest stood out with its truly splendorous top-view. He leant further to get a better view.
Still the Willow was not visible. Neither was Hogsmeade.
He leant as far as he could downwards. It made him lose his balance completely.
Down…down…down…people screaming….blood…
McGonagall…Dumbledore…
Then everything went black.
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‘Coulda died...really, what boys do nowadays….completely outta their minds ….’
‘Yes! And that had been, what? Some two hundred feet…’
‘Really, there’s a limit to everything! Just because he flies well and everything, doesn’t mean he can do this!’
‘Yes, Poppy - tell him! Tell the blasted boy - if he dared do anything like this ever again…’
‘Yes, yes, yes! I call this a - a deliberate suicide attempt!’
‘Suicide attempts are deliberate, Pomona.’
Sirius opened his eyes groggily. He was lying in a white bed in the Infirmary. He looked around.
Remus was sitting beside James, who was looking very white.
‘Padfoot!’ Remus said, in relief, when he saw Sirius. ‘How are you feeling, mate?’
‘Fine, Moony,’ answered Sirius, tiredly. ‘How’re you feeling?’
‘Never been better,’ said Remus, though his white face did not show it. ‘Er - perhaps it is best that I leave, Padfoot, Prongs. I’ve got to meet Emma Garnet in the Greenhouses today.’
‘Right - Moony, of course you can go,’ said Sirius.
Remus left, casting them a slightly nervous look.
‘So,’ said James.
‘Yes, mate?’ said Sirius, exhaustedly.
Suddenly it burst from within him, and he couldn’t hold it back: ‘SIRIUS! What were you thinking of, risking your life? How could you do that to me, Pads? How could you?’
Sirius was sobbing uncontrollably, gasping, ‘Jamie, didn’t think I deserved to live - not after - not after what I did to - Severus - know you and Moony hate me, Jamie -’
James was at his side in an instant, hugging him tightly. ‘Paddy, I could never hate you, never! You’re my little brother, always. And of course you deserve to live, Pads! Everyone does. I’m very sorry I hurt you so much, Siri. I was just so angry and worried! I love you very much, you know.’
Sirius lifted his head from James’s chest and whispered, eyes filled with tears, ‘I love you too, Jamie.’
The smile that lit James’s face, after that, could illuminate the world with its brightness.
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Harry Potter the End Harry Potter