Return ....
I have not posted in a while. Those of you on my friends list (i.e. the only people who will actually see this) know this by now.
Why ?
I'm not sure. Chalk it up to laziness, introvert, anything, I can't solve it for you. After all I'm not really sure why myself.
In less than 20 days I turn 27.
It seems almost mind boggling to me that I'm rapidly approaching my 30s, and I still feel like a gawky overgrown teenager.
So I turn inwards (which is ever so easy to do), and reflect on my life.
I have no degree beyond a Associate of the Arts.
I have no career, and a rapidly disintergrating car.
I'm constantly broke, and have lived with the same 2-3 people for .... 3 or is it 4 years now ?
Whom I off and on both Love, Hate, and Despair at.
I have not written anything creative in years. Not poetry, not short stories, not even plots for any of the many games I've been running since I was like 12. (SOooooo burnt out on being the ST/DM/GM)
Well that parts depressing, so I'll move on past it.
So I reflect on this journal. Which I've also had for several years.
And I made 2 promises when I created it so long ago, in fact they are still there in my user info.
I will censor nothing. No locked posts, nothing left out.
I mostly fufilled this one. Not a single locked post.
But I left a lot out. I could have poored my heart out some nights, and on a few of them I did. But inevitably, I did not trust my friends to hear about themselves or other people that they knew.
If it was about someone besides just me, ... I kept silent.
And I'm not sure if that worked out for the best or not.
The other promise, btw was that I would try to keep updating, since I'm terrible at journals and tend to quit writting in them (which I did. Several times.)
Should I try to continue this work ? My friend bladededge has a much more popular LJ compared to me. But then she's more socially adept ... prettier too :P
You guys tell me what you think, does anyone even read me anymore ?
Why ?
I'm not sure. Chalk it up to laziness, introvert, anything, I can't solve it for you. After all I'm not really sure why myself.
In less than 20 days I turn 27.
It seems almost mind boggling to me that I'm rapidly approaching my 30s, and I still feel like a gawky overgrown teenager.
So I turn inwards (which is ever so easy to do), and reflect on my life.
I have no degree beyond a Associate of the Arts.
I have no career, and a rapidly disintergrating car.
I'm constantly broke, and have lived with the same 2-3 people for .... 3 or is it 4 years now ?
Whom I off and on both Love, Hate, and Despair at.
I have not written anything creative in years. Not poetry, not short stories, not even plots for any of the many games I've been running since I was like 12. (SOooooo burnt out on being the ST/DM/GM)
Well that parts depressing, so I'll move on past it.
So I reflect on this journal. Which I've also had for several years.
And I made 2 promises when I created it so long ago, in fact they are still there in my user info.
I will censor nothing. No locked posts, nothing left out.
I mostly fufilled this one. Not a single locked post.
But I left a lot out. I could have poored my heart out some nights, and on a few of them I did. But inevitably, I did not trust my friends to hear about themselves or other people that they knew.
If it was about someone besides just me, ... I kept silent.
And I'm not sure if that worked out for the best or not.
The other promise, btw was that I would try to keep updating, since I'm terrible at journals and tend to quit writting in them (which I did. Several times.)
Should I try to continue this work ? My friend bladededge has a much more popular LJ compared to me. But then she's more socially adept ... prettier too :P
You guys tell me what you think, does anyone even read me anymore ?