One step forward ...
I recently got promoted at work, I'm now assistant manager of my very own tea room. I'll have regular working hours, a salary, bonuses etc. Couple this with the work I'm doing at the Orange Tree Theatre (just bar stuff, but keeps me in a theatre in some fashion) and I'm in a relatively stable place in career and financial terms.
I also have two wonderful girlfriends, who are both incredibly supportive of and patient with me. I see them both on a regular basis and they've met and get on. And I've started seeing friends again whom I haven't seen in ages, building up some of the friendships I've let slide in the past few years and building one or two new ones too.
And every day I wake up in my family home, the same house I grew up in.
Every day I walk to work and go past my primary school.
Every time I visit my girlfriend in London I get the bus past my secondary school.
And it doesn't feel like I've moved on at all and I'm filled with a mind-numbing fear that this is what it's always going to feel like: that I'm still a kid adrift in an adult's life, never really moving on or away or past anything.
And I'm not sure if this feeling's going to go away ever.
I also have two wonderful girlfriends, who are both incredibly supportive of and patient with me. I see them both on a regular basis and they've met and get on. And I've started seeing friends again whom I haven't seen in ages, building up some of the friendships I've let slide in the past few years and building one or two new ones too.
And every day I wake up in my family home, the same house I grew up in.
Every day I walk to work and go past my primary school.
Every time I visit my girlfriend in London I get the bus past my secondary school.
And it doesn't feel like I've moved on at all and I'm filled with a mind-numbing fear that this is what it's always going to feel like: that I'm still a kid adrift in an adult's life, never really moving on or away or past anything.
And I'm not sure if this feeling's going to go away ever.