Slipping Away, aren't we all?
Well, horrible end to a horrible evening. It was a great morning, what the heck made this night so terrible? Not sure what the catalyst was.. Although I have a good feeling as to what started this all. Even after a relationship is over, the ghost still remains, constantly prodding and poking you still you can't stand it. No wonder teenagers go so incredibly mental after a break up. I keep on getting these horrible feelings and dreams, about the past, present, etc. I'm still in the process of fixing my heart and/or 'trust' issues. I had thought that I was in good shape now, apparently I was terribly mistaken. Again, when was I *ever* good at assumptions?
I literally received my "wake up call." Didn't even dream of my conversation turning into the "pity fest" it became. I never *really* feel sorry for myself, until tonight. I actually had to wallow- chocolate and everything. That certainly is a new step for me. Being an overly emotional girl is difficult in this new society, you always have to have chocolate. Relationships aren't worth the wallowing, well... for me at least. I'm going to be doing quite a bit of wallowing from now till... September? Oy.. I'll have to run twice everyday. I needed to anyways..
Tomorrow's my day off, thankfully. I've worked as hard as I can at the Y, yet it just doesn't seem good enough in my opinion. I put all my energy and focus completley on work, but I'm not so sure.... 8 hours a day doesn't seem good enough for me. Maybe I'm nuts. I was hoping of doing something with the gang, but it seems as if I won't be able to anymore. I can't be with them for certain amounts of time, mostly because of the fresh wounds I've received from my recent return. I can't be that close to anyone, especially if they're associated with certain people. Boy does that sound odd... In English, being with Matt will only cause more wounds, staying with *his* friends will only make the situation worse. By hanging around them will only seem harmful to myself and myself alone. Maybe I'm over reacting? This all was bound to happen, yet perhaps all this time I was in denail? I'm thinking its just me being naieve again, I have a knack for being too "goody goody." Gotta work on that too... I've been cut off from spending time with them. Many of my doors have been closed now, because of one relationship. Oy.
So, it sounds like tomorrow I won't be doing much. Maybe that'll give me some good "meditation time"... what the hell?
I need to smash something... This part of wallowing too? Is this supposed to happen when you get smacked in the face on the exact day you return?
"Welcome back kid, let me twist this knife around in your heart and see what happens... Just for the hell of it"
Yeah, lets give this a test run shall we? Lets see how she'll react when we close all possibilities of bonding with your old friends, because its just not worth it. I'll be gone in a month anyway. Now I really am hurt, I'm really wallowing.... that's my cue then. Can't wallow too much on livejournal, people will think i'm weak. That's why I've lost the ability to trust. My heart's been smashed and crumbled. Welcome back to reality hon, suck it up and get on with your life. Have a piece of your shattered hopes as a souviner, it might be worth something someday. Thanks...
I miss you, miss you so bad
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh
Nah nah la la la nah nah
I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't
I hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
-me
I literally received my "wake up call." Didn't even dream of my conversation turning into the "pity fest" it became. I never *really* feel sorry for myself, until tonight. I actually had to wallow- chocolate and everything. That certainly is a new step for me. Being an overly emotional girl is difficult in this new society, you always have to have chocolate. Relationships aren't worth the wallowing, well... for me at least. I'm going to be doing quite a bit of wallowing from now till... September? Oy.. I'll have to run twice everyday. I needed to anyways..
Tomorrow's my day off, thankfully. I've worked as hard as I can at the Y, yet it just doesn't seem good enough in my opinion. I put all my energy and focus completley on work, but I'm not so sure.... 8 hours a day doesn't seem good enough for me. Maybe I'm nuts. I was hoping of doing something with the gang, but it seems as if I won't be able to anymore. I can't be with them for certain amounts of time, mostly because of the fresh wounds I've received from my recent return. I can't be that close to anyone, especially if they're associated with certain people. Boy does that sound odd... In English, being with Matt will only cause more wounds, staying with *his* friends will only make the situation worse. By hanging around them will only seem harmful to myself and myself alone. Maybe I'm over reacting? This all was bound to happen, yet perhaps all this time I was in denail? I'm thinking its just me being naieve again, I have a knack for being too "goody goody." Gotta work on that too... I've been cut off from spending time with them. Many of my doors have been closed now, because of one relationship. Oy.
So, it sounds like tomorrow I won't be doing much. Maybe that'll give me some good "meditation time"... what the hell?
I need to smash something... This part of wallowing too? Is this supposed to happen when you get smacked in the face on the exact day you return?
"Welcome back kid, let me twist this knife around in your heart and see what happens... Just for the hell of it"
Yeah, lets give this a test run shall we? Lets see how she'll react when we close all possibilities of bonding with your old friends, because its just not worth it. I'll be gone in a month anyway. Now I really am hurt, I'm really wallowing.... that's my cue then. Can't wallow too much on livejournal, people will think i'm weak. That's why I've lost the ability to trust. My heart's been smashed and crumbled. Welcome back to reality hon, suck it up and get on with your life. Have a piece of your shattered hopes as a souviner, it might be worth something someday. Thanks...
I miss you, miss you so bad
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh
Nah nah la la la nah nah
I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't
I hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
-me