IM SWEET 16 AND NEVER BEEN KISSED!!!!
Hey guys! i hope yall are all doing well. First of all, I am soo overwhelmed, with so much. Tomorrow I will be 16 years old, it is so intense. It is scary almost. You hear things about how 16 year olds get pregnant or run away, and also things about how 16 year olds are doing amazing things, like going to the Oympics or college. I know its TV but on Everwood, Amy was 15 when she went through everything with Collin. I just find that amazing how a 15 year old could experience that much. So much love, and heartbreak, and then dealing with his death, yall probably think I am just rembling, but it really makes me think, ya know? I am 15 cant even think of a defining moment in my life, that has made me mature or learn a life lesson, dont get me wrong I have learned them, but always the easy way, and thats okay with me, but its just weird to think of how other peoples lives flow like that.
Volleyball is going well. I am doing better!! I hit a couple of 31's (a quick set) and so I was happy. Practice Friday did not go so well, we were lazy and not hustling. I hope it isnt like that again. I am enjoying it though. I think if I just eat right and dont splurge, I could really lose some weight. I really want to, I wouldnt mind weighing 125 if it was all muscle, but I dont want it to be all fat, I just want to firm up. I also really want to get better, its frustrating, not being able to hit hard or fast or get the ball to target, I practice my approach almost everynight, I just dont want to be the one holding everyone back, like the saying "you are only as strong as your weakest player" I dont want to be the weakest player, part of it is pride but I also dont want to let anyone down.
I just finished watching "Princess Diaries" (Rachel gave it to me :) ) It was sooo cute!! I want a fairy tale romance like that. Ok, so I could live with out being a princess, but the boy wouldnt be too bad. I just want that companionship. I dont feel that close to anyone at school this year, and I guess thats okay with me to an extent, but I just dont know, its something I cant put away, I dont know, this is the part where I really am rambling bc I know how to express what I want to say. I just need to give it all to God, but that is soo hard sometimes. Like I know the reason I dont have a boyfriend is bc God doesnt want me to, but its just sooo hard to accept that. And I know there is a reason for everything but I just feel soo exhausted about some things.
I am off to journal in my real journal, haha, I hope yall all have a super night.!
xoxox
meredith
Volleyball is going well. I am doing better!! I hit a couple of 31's (a quick set) and so I was happy. Practice Friday did not go so well, we were lazy and not hustling. I hope it isnt like that again. I am enjoying it though. I think if I just eat right and dont splurge, I could really lose some weight. I really want to, I wouldnt mind weighing 125 if it was all muscle, but I dont want it to be all fat, I just want to firm up. I also really want to get better, its frustrating, not being able to hit hard or fast or get the ball to target, I practice my approach almost everynight, I just dont want to be the one holding everyone back, like the saying "you are only as strong as your weakest player" I dont want to be the weakest player, part of it is pride but I also dont want to let anyone down.
I just finished watching "Princess Diaries" (Rachel gave it to me :) ) It was sooo cute!! I want a fairy tale romance like that. Ok, so I could live with out being a princess, but the boy wouldnt be too bad. I just want that companionship. I dont feel that close to anyone at school this year, and I guess thats okay with me to an extent, but I just dont know, its something I cant put away, I dont know, this is the part where I really am rambling bc I know how to express what I want to say. I just need to give it all to God, but that is soo hard sometimes. Like I know the reason I dont have a boyfriend is bc God doesnt want me to, but its just sooo hard to accept that. And I know there is a reason for everything but I just feel soo exhausted about some things.
I am off to journal in my real journal, haha, I hope yall all have a super night.!
xoxox
meredith