Pondering
I've been in an extremely contemplative state since Monday. Thinking about things, but not worrying or being insecure. There is none of that. There's contentment with my situation, with my friends, and my school efforts. I feel like I'm finally back on track in many ways of my life. I can finally focus again, which is the most wonderful feeling in the world. Allen told me that my problems lie not with the people around me, but within myself. I knew this all along, and though I hate him for saying it, it makes perfect sense. I can't realize for the life of me how this all started. I can't pinpoint a date, a moment, a thought, an act, that set me off. And I guess that's what is scary...the fact that I don't know if I can control it or if my head really just does off the deep end sometimes. Seth said that it sounded like I was manic-depressive, so I researched the symptoms and realized that I've had them all in the past week and a half. Luckily, they are gone now but what if they return? I can only focus on what I can control and hope that I figure things out for myself. My friends help though :)