As the World Comes to an End, Chapter Seven
As the World Comes to an End
Author: JALover7 (alanna_the_lionheart)
Rating: M
Spoilers: series finale, 5.13
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur
Genres: angst, hurt/comfort, romance, future-fic, reincarnation, post-apocalypse (sort of)
Summary: Sequel to “Full of Grace.” Arthur comes back from Avalon to find that he has been gone for nearly two thousand years. In a world torn apart by war, life has become simple again, yet Arthur finds himself homesick for a time that no longer exists. As Merlin and Arthur help each other cope, an ancient power rises in the Earth, threatening to destroy not only their new found happiness, but the world itself. Work in progress.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Merlin.
As the World Comes to an End
Chapter Seven: A Promise
That night, Sibyl invites them to sit down to dinner with her. Over a meal of carrots, crude yet surprisingly tasty bread, and fresh rabbit, Sibyl tells them everything she knows about Malus.
Most of what she has to say Merlin already knows from his talk with Kilgharrah. How the ancient malevolence was born from the darkness in the world, cast into a deep slumber by the dragons, and spent thousands of years feasting on the evil growing in mankind. How It is a dark magic, evil at heart: a counter to Merlin and everything he stands for.
“Kilgharrah told me to think of it as a dark to my light. That magic, like every element, is made up of a dark side and a light side, and that’s what keeps the world in balance.”
Sibyl nods. “Your dragon friend is right. Malus is a manifestation of the dark side of magic: magic used from greed, ignorance, jealousy. It’s been feeding off the growing darkness in the world for millennia, Merlin. The fourth World War gave It the last bit of strength It needed to crawl Its way back into the world.”
Arthur shudders, and Merlin places a hand gently on his knee. Arthur smiles in gratitude as he speaks. “This is why I was brought back. I know it is. I’m meant to fight this evil. To defeat It. But…how do you fight something like this?” Arthur asks hopelessly.
“Arthur.” Merlin grasps Arthur’s hand in his own and squeezes it tightly. “You won’t be fighting It alone.”
“He’s right,” Sibyl replies. A small smile lights up her face, and Arthur thinks it’s the first time he’s seen her look hopeful. “You must fight It together. That is why you’ve been brought back, Arthur. You and Merlin must fight this evil, and you must defeat It. Otherwise….”
She trails off, but Arthur doesn’t need to hear her say it. All that’s left of the good in the world will be gone, unless he and Merlin can defeat the greatest evil the world has ever known.
“No pressure,” Merlin says with a half hearted laugh, and Arthur finds himself smiling.
“Always trying to lighten the mood. That’s one of the things I’ve always loved about you, Merlin.” He leans over and kisses Merlin unexpectedly on the cheek. Arthur can just make out a telltale blush on Merlin’s face by the light of the fire, and he laughs.
After a moment’s pause to collect himself, Merlin finally asks the important question: “So…do you know how we defeat It?”
Sibyl nods. “I do, though I didn’t have the answer until the night you arrived here. That night I had a dream. I didn’t see the final outcome, but I know what you need to do.” Sibyl turns to Merlin and smiles knowingly. “You remember the griffon you helped Lancelot defeat all those years ago?”
Merlin grins. “Even after all this time, how could I forget?”
Arthur frowns. “Lancelot defeated that griffon?”
“Of course, Arthur, but that’s not important right now. I enchanted his sword. It was the combination of my magic and his strength that killed the monster.”
“Yes,” Sibyl agrees. “Your magic, his courage. Both working together. That’s what defeated it, and that’s what will work this time. Your magic…and Excalibur. The sword of the Once and Future King, forged in a dragon’s breath, combined with the power of Emrys’ magic, is the only thing that can kill Malus.”
Arthur feels his heart lift just a little bit. “That’s it? Merlin must enchant the sword and then I…stab It?”
Sibyl nods. “Essentially, yes.”
“But how do we find Malus?” Merlin asks quietly.
“That is where the trouble lies. There’s no way we can know for sure just where It will be at any given time. We need to find a way to pinpoint where It will be, or find a way to get It where we want It."
“So we’re back at square one,” Merlin replies dejectedly.
Sibyl smiles gently and reaches over the fire carefully, placing her hand on Merlin’s shoulder. “Don’t lose faith, Emrys. Over the years I’ve learned to trust my instincts. I have a good feeling about this. Now that Arthur is back…well, between the two of you-”
“We can do anything,” Arthur finishes, and he squeezes Merlin’s hand once more.
Merlin looks up at him with a smile. “You’re right,” he says with a laugh.
“Of course I am, Merlin,” Arthur teases. “I’m the Once and Future King. I’m always right.”
Merlin swats him playfully on the arm. “You’re letting that nickname go to your head, my lord.”
Arthur laughs. He shifts slightly in an attempt to ruffle Merlin’s hair like he knows he hates, and then he gasps in pain.
Sibyl shakes her head. “Let me worry about how we’ll find Malus. For now, you two should rest. You’ll be no use against It in your current states.”
“No, we won’t,” Merlin agrees. He stands up, and with his hand still wrapped firmly in Arthur’s, he pulls him up, too. Arthur accepts the help gratefully, sighing once he’s on his feet. He hadn’t realized just how exhausted he really is. Maybe he does need a bit of rest. “It’s late, and I’m tired. Do you have somewhere we can both sleep?” Merlin asks Sibyl.
“I think I can find something.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sibyl sets them up in the small storage shed next to the infirmary cabin. She and Merlin empty the shed, moving the supplies into Sibyl’s cabin and a corner of the infirmary. It leaves Merlin and Arthur with a small, yet decent sized cozy space.
Arthur promises they will only stay for a week at the most; just long enough for him and Merlin to regain their strength.
A week goes by, and Merlin insists that Arthur still isn’t well enough.
The energy that Merlin took from Arthur seems to have restored Merlin to good health, and he rests with Arthur for a few days before deciding that he needs to help out in the village.
“I need to earn our keep, Arthur. And you need your rest.”
Arthur doesn’t really have the energy to argue with him. More than that, Arthur has begun to accept that Merlin isn’t a complete idiot, and that he can be right about certain things. So Arthur sets aside his kingly pride and does as Merlin asks.
While Arthur rests, Merlin helps however he can. He hunts with the villagers, tends the fields, works in the gardens and the orchard.
He does everything without magic. While the people of the village have begun to accept Sibyl’s prophecy, he’s not sure how they will take to a direct use of magic.
Two weeks go by, and Merlin decides they still aren’t ready to go.
“We still have no idea how to find Malus,” Merlin argues. “Kilgharrah said that Sibyl would have the answers. We just have to hope she’ll find a way.”
Arthur begins to help in the village when Merlin finally deems him well enough. He helps with the hunting at first because that’s naturally where he excels. But then one day he decides to help Merlin in the fields. The next day they help in the garden, and the next in the orchard.
He talks to the villagers as they work; getting to know what he can about them and the home they have built for themselves. The people warm to him quickly, and it makes Merlin smile.
One day, Arthur explains why he feels the need to help out everywhere he can.
“I want to see as much of the village as possible, Merlin. I want to see how the people live, how they survive. I want to help them. I want to get to know them better. I just…I feel like it’s the right thing to do.”
Merlin surprises him with a kiss so intense Arthur’s afraid his knees will give out.
“What was that for?” he pants when they finally come up for air.
“That’s what makes you the Once and Future King, Arthur. You don’t even have a kingdom anymore, yet you’re still acting like a king.”
“I don’t understand,” Arthur replies.
“Getting to know the people, trying to help them in any way you can. That’s what made you a great king, Arthur. It’s also what makes you a great man. And it’s what I…well, it’s what I love the most about you.”
Then Arthur surprises Merlin with a kiss of his own.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day, Merlin asks if they can work at the daycare. Arthur’s never been very comfortable with children, but he can tell from the look on Merlin’s face that this means a lot to him, and he agrees with a smile.
Arthur, so used to seeing a Merlin who never knew when to shut up, found it strange to see him so quiet with the villagers. It’s in the daycare that Merlin finally begins to blossom. He bonds with the children in a way he can’t seem to bond with the adults.
One day, Arthur wakes to find Merlin already gone from their bed. He heads to the daycare, and his heart leaps in his chest at the sight that greets him. Merlin’s juggling three rocks in the air…without touching them.
It’s the first time Merlin’s used his magic since they arrived in the village two weeks ago, and Arthur smiles as he walks over to join him.
That morning, Merlin shows the children small bits of his magic. He makes objects float and disappear. He makes flowers grow. Then he creates small blue butterflies out of nothing, and it’s Arthur’s favorite trick, because the way Merlin’s face lights up when he does it makes Arthur’s heart flutter happily, like he’s a boy with a crush all over again.
As Merlin and Arthur head back to their small hut to eat, Merlin explains how he finally found the courage to show his magic.
“I have Sibyl to thank,” Merlin says gratefully. “I’ve found it a bit…hard to open up to the people here.”
“I noticed,” Arthur replies.
“The past 2,000 years…let’s just say I’ve…I’ve been through a lot, Arthur.” Merlin’s voice trembles at the end, and Arthur touches Merlin’s shoulder gently, forcing him to stop.
“It’s all right, Merlin. You don’t have to explain anything you don’t want to.”
Merlin nods, biting his lip. “I’ve spent so much of the last 200 years alone. Since the end of the war. It’s just…I’m finding it hard to be around people again.”
Arthur nods in understanding. He puts his other hand on Merlin’s back and leads him to the shade of a big tree. They sit at its base, Arthur with his back to the tree and Merlin curled up against his chest.
“Sibyl suggested I check out the daycare. She thought maybe it would be good for me. And you know…she was right. I found it easier to talk to the children. They don’t expect anything from me, and I never feel like…I’m sorry. It’s hard to explain,” Merlin says, a twinge of regret in his voice.
“Merlin…I can’t begin to understand what you’re going through. Living through what you have, seeing the things you’ve seen. Just…living. For so long. It would take its toll on anyone.”
“The magic helps, Arthur,” Merlin responds with a smile. “Just…being able to use it in front of people. Even if it’s just the children. Sibyl came by the daycare this morning and told them everything. About you, about me. About our mission to destroy Malus. The children look up to her, trust her, in a way that the adults never really have. Her visions seem like magic to them, and she thought that they’d like to see real magic.”
Arthur smiles at the memory of that morning. The looks of awe and wonder on the children’s faces. The flowers blooming around them and the blue butterflies flying on the breeze. The look of pure joy on Merlin’s face.
Arthur leans over and kisses Merlin gently on top of his head.
“I haven’t seen you so happy since I got back,” Arthur says fondly. “I like it.”
Merlin laughs and pulls Arthur’s arms tighter around him.
“So do I.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Merlin continues to help out in the daycare. While Arthur would like nothing more than to spend all his time with Merlin, he just can’t bond with the children the way Merlin does. He spends his days in the woods, the fields, or the gardens. As the sun sets, he heads to the daycare to find Merlin.
Another week goes by, faster than either of them would like. Every night Arthur asks Sibyl if she has seen where Malus is, and every night Sibyl shakes her head. She hasn’t had any visions about Malus since they’ve arrived.
Merlin becomes particularly attached to a young boy at the daycare. At Merlin’s insistence, Arthur gets to know the boy. He’s smart, good at talking to people and getting what he wants. He’s generous and caring, and a natural born leader. He’s also the son of the Head Elder of the village.
One night, as Merlin and Arthur lie curled around each other, Merlin tries to explain why he’s so attached to Samuel. “To be honest, he reminds me a lot of you, Arthur.”
Arthur laughs. “Actually, Merlin, I was going to say he reminds me of you.”
Merlin smiles and curls in closer to Arthur. He rests his head on Arthur’s chest. As Arthur wraps his arms around him, Merlin strokes the handprint over Arthur’s heart absentmindedly. Over the past few weeks, it’s faded from bright red to a soft white. Arthur feels sure he will bear the mark for the rest of his life. No matter how many times he tries to convince Merlin that he’ll never regret what he did, the sight of it still makes Merlin frown, his eyes clouding over with guilt.
“Merlin, you know I don’t-”
“I like it here,” Merlin whispers, so quietly Arthur can barely hear him.
“I know,” Arthur responds, tracing his hand down Merlin’s arm and causing him to shiver slightly. He grips Merlin’s hand in his own and squeezes firmly. “I do, too. But, Merlin, you know we can’t-”
“Why can’t we, Arthur?” Merlin asks vehemently. He lets go of Arthur’s hand and sits up, pulling away from him. He doesn’t look angry, and Arthur finds himself wishing that he would. Anger would be easier to deal with than the look of despair and regret and the tears building in Merlin’s eyes. “Why can’t we have this life? This is all I want, Arthur. I want to settle down and live quietly. I want to grow old, Arthur. And I want to do it with you. Just you and me.” Merlin looks away, his face red, from embarrassment or anger Arthur’s not sure.
Arthur sits up with a sigh. He reaches a hand out to Merlin, but Merlin pulls away just the slightest, and Arthur stops. “Merlin…I want that, too.”
“You do?” Merlin asks in surprise, looking at Arthur hopefully.
Arthur laughs, then forces himself to stop at the look on Merlin’s face.
“Merlin, after 2,000 years, you really are still an idiot.”
Merlin smiles, and he finally looks back at him. “I couldn’t change too much, Arthur. You’d never recognize me if I wasn’t still an idiot.”
“You’re right,” Arthur chuckles. With the tension broken, he reaches out a hand again. This time, he places it gently on Merlin’s knee, and Merlin doesn’t pull away.
“Merlin, I want that life, too. More than anything.” He moves his hand up to Merlin’s cheek and cradles his face gently. Merlin leans into the touch and closes his eyes. “But we have to face this evil first. If we don’t, there won’t be a world left to live in. Malus will destroy everything, including this village, if we don’t stop It.”
But then Merlin shakes his head, pulling away from his touch, and Arthur watches helplessly as tears fall down Merlin’s face.
“But why does it have to be us, Arthur? Why can’t it be someone else? After everything you’ve done, after everything I’ve done for this world…I deserve to be selfish.”
Arthur feels tears rising in his own eyes, but he holds them back for Merlin’s sake.
“I know you do, Merlin. It’s not fair. Believe me, I know. But we have to accept it. It has to be us. You and me. We can do this, Merlin. Believe it. Believe in us.”
Arthur reaches over and grabs Merlin’s hands, holding them tightly in his own. Merlin tries to pull away again, but Arthur refuses to let go.
“We will face this evil, and we will defeat it. I know we can win. Because we have something to fight for. This village. Our future. Merlin….”
Arthur lets go of Merlin’s hands and grasps his face. He wipes away the tears he finds there, kisses the tracks they’ve left behind. When he finally kisses Merlin, he pours all the love and determination into the kiss that he can. Merlin has to know he believes in him, believes in them, or the future they both want so badly will never be theirs.
Finally, Merlin lets out a quiet sob and then kisses him back. He gasps out Arthur’s name, and Arthur kisses him harder, pushing him back against the bedding.
“Believe in this, Merlin,” Arthur gasps, kissing Merlin’s collarbone. “Believe in us.”
Merlin moans in response.
“Merlin,” Arthur whispers desperately. “I love you. I always have. Even when we were back in Camelot. I just couldn’t see it. I was scared. I was-”
“It’s all right,” Merlin whispers, nipping lightly at the spot behind Arthur’s ear that always drives him crazy. Arthur groans. “It’s all right, Arthur. I know. I never lost faith in you, Arthur. I’m not going to start now.” Then he kisses Arthur again, and for the next ten minutes the only words they exchange are each other’s names. Whispered, moaned, grunted, praised. They lose themselves in each other, and when Arthur finally comes inside Merlin, he thinks that nothing, not even Malus, could ever tear them apart.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Afterward, Arthur lies in a quiet haze, slowly drifting off to sleep. He wakes at the feel of Merlin stroking the handprint on his chest.
“Arthur…when this is over….” Merlin pauses, then places his hand over the mark, mirroring the image that his magic has left behind. “I’m done with magic.”
Arthur frowns. That wasn’t what he was expecting to hear. He places his hand on top of Merlin’s. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m done, Arthur. I’ve had enough of magic. When we’ve destroyed Malus, I want to settle down. Just you and me. Somewhere quiet, just the two of us. Maybe start a farm, build our own place. But I want to live without magic.”
“Why are you saying this, Merlin? Is it about what you did to me? I’ve told you a million times to forget about it. I don’t regret what happened. If I hadn’t done it-”
“It’s not just about that, Arthur. I promise it’s not. I like showing the children magic, and I like using it to help people. It’s just that…I feel old, Arthur. Two thousand years is a long time, and I’m just…I’m tired. I’m tired of using magic to solve the world’s problems. I’m tired of being Emrys. After all this time, I just want to be…I just want to be Merlin.”
Arthur smiles. “I like the magic, Merlin.” Merlin frowns at him in disbelief and Arthur laughs. “It’s true. I like watching you make the flowers grow, making those little balls of light, and those blue butterflies. But it’s not just the magic I like to see. I like how it makes you smile. I like how happy it seems to make you. How you enjoy showing it off to me.”
“I don’t enjoy-”
“Yes you do, Merlin,” Arthur says with a laugh. “You like showing it to me. You like that I know about it now. That I’ve accepted it.”
Merlin grins. “You know me too well, dollophead.”
Arthur rolls his eyes. “The point is, Merlin…if magic ever stops making you happy…then I don’t want you to use it. It only makes me happy because it makes you happy. If you want to stop using magic when this is over, Merlin, I won’t argue.”
Merlin smiles warmly, and he leans down and kisses him gently. When he pulls away, he whispers, “Thank you, Arthur.”
They lie quietly for a few minutes, and just when Arthur thinks that Merlin’s finally fallen asleep, he breaks the silence.
“Arthur…I’ve been thinking.”
“That’s never good.”
“I’m serious,” Merlin responds, swatting him playfully on the chest.
“I’m sorry,” Arthur chuckles. “Go on.”
“I’ve been thinking…watching the way you interact with the villagers. Maybe fighting Malus isn’t the only reason you’re back.”
“What do you mean?” Arthur asks, but he’s pretty sure he already knows the answer. It’s something he’s wanted to discuss with Merlin, but with all the talk about settling down alone after defeating Malus, he hadn’t wanted to bring it up.
“You want to help this village, Arthur. You want to lead these people. You want to rebuild. And not just here. You want to help the country. Join the villages together. Help the world start over.”
“Merlin.” Arthur says his name in disbelief. “How do you know all of that? I haven’t-”
“You don't need to say anything, Arthur. It’s written all over your face every day. It’s obvious in everything you do. Being a king, being a leader, it’s in your blood, Arthur. It’s what makes you you. I know you better than I’ve ever known anyone, better than I know myself, and I’ve had to live with me for two thousand years.”
“Yeah, I’m not sure even I could put up with you for that long.”
“My point, Arthur, is that I know you want to help the world. And I want to help you with that. I do. But I also want….”
Arthur shifts on the bed so he’s facing Merlin. “You’re right, Merlin. I want to try and fix things. The world’s just so…broken right now. And I want to try and set it right. But I also want to be with you. Settle down somewhere. Start that farm you were talking about.”
“Well...why can’t we have both?” Merlin asks hopefully.
Arthur smiles. “My thoughts exactly. I’ll do what I can for this village, and the villages around it. And then we’ll build that farm, Merlin. We can have both. We deserve to have both. I want you to be happy.”
“And I want the same for you,” Merlin replies quietly.
“So it’s a promise, then. We’ll rebuild the world…and then we’ll build our own world.”
Merlin leans over and kisses him firmly, and Arthur kisses him back.
“It’s a promise,” Merlin agrees.
…tbc…
Author: JALover7 (alanna_the_lionheart)
Rating: M
Spoilers: series finale, 5.13
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur
Genres: angst, hurt/comfort, romance, future-fic, reincarnation, post-apocalypse (sort of)
Summary: Sequel to “Full of Grace.” Arthur comes back from Avalon to find that he has been gone for nearly two thousand years. In a world torn apart by war, life has become simple again, yet Arthur finds himself homesick for a time that no longer exists. As Merlin and Arthur help each other cope, an ancient power rises in the Earth, threatening to destroy not only their new found happiness, but the world itself. Work in progress.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Merlin.
As the World Comes to an End
Chapter Seven: A Promise
That night, Sibyl invites them to sit down to dinner with her. Over a meal of carrots, crude yet surprisingly tasty bread, and fresh rabbit, Sibyl tells them everything she knows about Malus.
Most of what she has to say Merlin already knows from his talk with Kilgharrah. How the ancient malevolence was born from the darkness in the world, cast into a deep slumber by the dragons, and spent thousands of years feasting on the evil growing in mankind. How It is a dark magic, evil at heart: a counter to Merlin and everything he stands for.
“Kilgharrah told me to think of it as a dark to my light. That magic, like every element, is made up of a dark side and a light side, and that’s what keeps the world in balance.”
Sibyl nods. “Your dragon friend is right. Malus is a manifestation of the dark side of magic: magic used from greed, ignorance, jealousy. It’s been feeding off the growing darkness in the world for millennia, Merlin. The fourth World War gave It the last bit of strength It needed to crawl Its way back into the world.”
Arthur shudders, and Merlin places a hand gently on his knee. Arthur smiles in gratitude as he speaks. “This is why I was brought back. I know it is. I’m meant to fight this evil. To defeat It. But…how do you fight something like this?” Arthur asks hopelessly.
“Arthur.” Merlin grasps Arthur’s hand in his own and squeezes it tightly. “You won’t be fighting It alone.”
“He’s right,” Sibyl replies. A small smile lights up her face, and Arthur thinks it’s the first time he’s seen her look hopeful. “You must fight It together. That is why you’ve been brought back, Arthur. You and Merlin must fight this evil, and you must defeat It. Otherwise….”
She trails off, but Arthur doesn’t need to hear her say it. All that’s left of the good in the world will be gone, unless he and Merlin can defeat the greatest evil the world has ever known.
“No pressure,” Merlin says with a half hearted laugh, and Arthur finds himself smiling.
“Always trying to lighten the mood. That’s one of the things I’ve always loved about you, Merlin.” He leans over and kisses Merlin unexpectedly on the cheek. Arthur can just make out a telltale blush on Merlin’s face by the light of the fire, and he laughs.
After a moment’s pause to collect himself, Merlin finally asks the important question: “So…do you know how we defeat It?”
Sibyl nods. “I do, though I didn’t have the answer until the night you arrived here. That night I had a dream. I didn’t see the final outcome, but I know what you need to do.” Sibyl turns to Merlin and smiles knowingly. “You remember the griffon you helped Lancelot defeat all those years ago?”
Merlin grins. “Even after all this time, how could I forget?”
Arthur frowns. “Lancelot defeated that griffon?”
“Of course, Arthur, but that’s not important right now. I enchanted his sword. It was the combination of my magic and his strength that killed the monster.”
“Yes,” Sibyl agrees. “Your magic, his courage. Both working together. That’s what defeated it, and that’s what will work this time. Your magic…and Excalibur. The sword of the Once and Future King, forged in a dragon’s breath, combined with the power of Emrys’ magic, is the only thing that can kill Malus.”
Arthur feels his heart lift just a little bit. “That’s it? Merlin must enchant the sword and then I…stab It?”
Sibyl nods. “Essentially, yes.”
“But how do we find Malus?” Merlin asks quietly.
“That is where the trouble lies. There’s no way we can know for sure just where It will be at any given time. We need to find a way to pinpoint where It will be, or find a way to get It where we want It."
“So we’re back at square one,” Merlin replies dejectedly.
Sibyl smiles gently and reaches over the fire carefully, placing her hand on Merlin’s shoulder. “Don’t lose faith, Emrys. Over the years I’ve learned to trust my instincts. I have a good feeling about this. Now that Arthur is back…well, between the two of you-”
“We can do anything,” Arthur finishes, and he squeezes Merlin’s hand once more.
Merlin looks up at him with a smile. “You’re right,” he says with a laugh.
“Of course I am, Merlin,” Arthur teases. “I’m the Once and Future King. I’m always right.”
Merlin swats him playfully on the arm. “You’re letting that nickname go to your head, my lord.”
Arthur laughs. He shifts slightly in an attempt to ruffle Merlin’s hair like he knows he hates, and then he gasps in pain.
Sibyl shakes her head. “Let me worry about how we’ll find Malus. For now, you two should rest. You’ll be no use against It in your current states.”
“No, we won’t,” Merlin agrees. He stands up, and with his hand still wrapped firmly in Arthur’s, he pulls him up, too. Arthur accepts the help gratefully, sighing once he’s on his feet. He hadn’t realized just how exhausted he really is. Maybe he does need a bit of rest. “It’s late, and I’m tired. Do you have somewhere we can both sleep?” Merlin asks Sibyl.
“I think I can find something.”
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Sibyl sets them up in the small storage shed next to the infirmary cabin. She and Merlin empty the shed, moving the supplies into Sibyl’s cabin and a corner of the infirmary. It leaves Merlin and Arthur with a small, yet decent sized cozy space.
Arthur promises they will only stay for a week at the most; just long enough for him and Merlin to regain their strength.
A week goes by, and Merlin insists that Arthur still isn’t well enough.
The energy that Merlin took from Arthur seems to have restored Merlin to good health, and he rests with Arthur for a few days before deciding that he needs to help out in the village.
“I need to earn our keep, Arthur. And you need your rest.”
Arthur doesn’t really have the energy to argue with him. More than that, Arthur has begun to accept that Merlin isn’t a complete idiot, and that he can be right about certain things. So Arthur sets aside his kingly pride and does as Merlin asks.
While Arthur rests, Merlin helps however he can. He hunts with the villagers, tends the fields, works in the gardens and the orchard.
He does everything without magic. While the people of the village have begun to accept Sibyl’s prophecy, he’s not sure how they will take to a direct use of magic.
Two weeks go by, and Merlin decides they still aren’t ready to go.
“We still have no idea how to find Malus,” Merlin argues. “Kilgharrah said that Sibyl would have the answers. We just have to hope she’ll find a way.”
Arthur begins to help in the village when Merlin finally deems him well enough. He helps with the hunting at first because that’s naturally where he excels. But then one day he decides to help Merlin in the fields. The next day they help in the garden, and the next in the orchard.
He talks to the villagers as they work; getting to know what he can about them and the home they have built for themselves. The people warm to him quickly, and it makes Merlin smile.
One day, Arthur explains why he feels the need to help out everywhere he can.
“I want to see as much of the village as possible, Merlin. I want to see how the people live, how they survive. I want to help them. I want to get to know them better. I just…I feel like it’s the right thing to do.”
Merlin surprises him with a kiss so intense Arthur’s afraid his knees will give out.
“What was that for?” he pants when they finally come up for air.
“That’s what makes you the Once and Future King, Arthur. You don’t even have a kingdom anymore, yet you’re still acting like a king.”
“I don’t understand,” Arthur replies.
“Getting to know the people, trying to help them in any way you can. That’s what made you a great king, Arthur. It’s also what makes you a great man. And it’s what I…well, it’s what I love the most about you.”
Then Arthur surprises Merlin with a kiss of his own.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day, Merlin asks if they can work at the daycare. Arthur’s never been very comfortable with children, but he can tell from the look on Merlin’s face that this means a lot to him, and he agrees with a smile.
Arthur, so used to seeing a Merlin who never knew when to shut up, found it strange to see him so quiet with the villagers. It’s in the daycare that Merlin finally begins to blossom. He bonds with the children in a way he can’t seem to bond with the adults.
One day, Arthur wakes to find Merlin already gone from their bed. He heads to the daycare, and his heart leaps in his chest at the sight that greets him. Merlin’s juggling three rocks in the air…without touching them.
It’s the first time Merlin’s used his magic since they arrived in the village two weeks ago, and Arthur smiles as he walks over to join him.
That morning, Merlin shows the children small bits of his magic. He makes objects float and disappear. He makes flowers grow. Then he creates small blue butterflies out of nothing, and it’s Arthur’s favorite trick, because the way Merlin’s face lights up when he does it makes Arthur’s heart flutter happily, like he’s a boy with a crush all over again.
As Merlin and Arthur head back to their small hut to eat, Merlin explains how he finally found the courage to show his magic.
“I have Sibyl to thank,” Merlin says gratefully. “I’ve found it a bit…hard to open up to the people here.”
“I noticed,” Arthur replies.
“The past 2,000 years…let’s just say I’ve…I’ve been through a lot, Arthur.” Merlin’s voice trembles at the end, and Arthur touches Merlin’s shoulder gently, forcing him to stop.
“It’s all right, Merlin. You don’t have to explain anything you don’t want to.”
Merlin nods, biting his lip. “I’ve spent so much of the last 200 years alone. Since the end of the war. It’s just…I’m finding it hard to be around people again.”
Arthur nods in understanding. He puts his other hand on Merlin’s back and leads him to the shade of a big tree. They sit at its base, Arthur with his back to the tree and Merlin curled up against his chest.
“Sibyl suggested I check out the daycare. She thought maybe it would be good for me. And you know…she was right. I found it easier to talk to the children. They don’t expect anything from me, and I never feel like…I’m sorry. It’s hard to explain,” Merlin says, a twinge of regret in his voice.
“Merlin…I can’t begin to understand what you’re going through. Living through what you have, seeing the things you’ve seen. Just…living. For so long. It would take its toll on anyone.”
“The magic helps, Arthur,” Merlin responds with a smile. “Just…being able to use it in front of people. Even if it’s just the children. Sibyl came by the daycare this morning and told them everything. About you, about me. About our mission to destroy Malus. The children look up to her, trust her, in a way that the adults never really have. Her visions seem like magic to them, and she thought that they’d like to see real magic.”
Arthur smiles at the memory of that morning. The looks of awe and wonder on the children’s faces. The flowers blooming around them and the blue butterflies flying on the breeze. The look of pure joy on Merlin’s face.
Arthur leans over and kisses Merlin gently on top of his head.
“I haven’t seen you so happy since I got back,” Arthur says fondly. “I like it.”
Merlin laughs and pulls Arthur’s arms tighter around him.
“So do I.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Merlin continues to help out in the daycare. While Arthur would like nothing more than to spend all his time with Merlin, he just can’t bond with the children the way Merlin does. He spends his days in the woods, the fields, or the gardens. As the sun sets, he heads to the daycare to find Merlin.
Another week goes by, faster than either of them would like. Every night Arthur asks Sibyl if she has seen where Malus is, and every night Sibyl shakes her head. She hasn’t had any visions about Malus since they’ve arrived.
Merlin becomes particularly attached to a young boy at the daycare. At Merlin’s insistence, Arthur gets to know the boy. He’s smart, good at talking to people and getting what he wants. He’s generous and caring, and a natural born leader. He’s also the son of the Head Elder of the village.
One night, as Merlin and Arthur lie curled around each other, Merlin tries to explain why he’s so attached to Samuel. “To be honest, he reminds me a lot of you, Arthur.”
Arthur laughs. “Actually, Merlin, I was going to say he reminds me of you.”
Merlin smiles and curls in closer to Arthur. He rests his head on Arthur’s chest. As Arthur wraps his arms around him, Merlin strokes the handprint over Arthur’s heart absentmindedly. Over the past few weeks, it’s faded from bright red to a soft white. Arthur feels sure he will bear the mark for the rest of his life. No matter how many times he tries to convince Merlin that he’ll never regret what he did, the sight of it still makes Merlin frown, his eyes clouding over with guilt.
“Merlin, you know I don’t-”
“I like it here,” Merlin whispers, so quietly Arthur can barely hear him.
“I know,” Arthur responds, tracing his hand down Merlin’s arm and causing him to shiver slightly. He grips Merlin’s hand in his own and squeezes firmly. “I do, too. But, Merlin, you know we can’t-”
“Why can’t we, Arthur?” Merlin asks vehemently. He lets go of Arthur’s hand and sits up, pulling away from him. He doesn’t look angry, and Arthur finds himself wishing that he would. Anger would be easier to deal with than the look of despair and regret and the tears building in Merlin’s eyes. “Why can’t we have this life? This is all I want, Arthur. I want to settle down and live quietly. I want to grow old, Arthur. And I want to do it with you. Just you and me.” Merlin looks away, his face red, from embarrassment or anger Arthur’s not sure.
Arthur sits up with a sigh. He reaches a hand out to Merlin, but Merlin pulls away just the slightest, and Arthur stops. “Merlin…I want that, too.”
“You do?” Merlin asks in surprise, looking at Arthur hopefully.
Arthur laughs, then forces himself to stop at the look on Merlin’s face.
“Merlin, after 2,000 years, you really are still an idiot.”
Merlin smiles, and he finally looks back at him. “I couldn’t change too much, Arthur. You’d never recognize me if I wasn’t still an idiot.”
“You’re right,” Arthur chuckles. With the tension broken, he reaches out a hand again. This time, he places it gently on Merlin’s knee, and Merlin doesn’t pull away.
“Merlin, I want that life, too. More than anything.” He moves his hand up to Merlin’s cheek and cradles his face gently. Merlin leans into the touch and closes his eyes. “But we have to face this evil first. If we don’t, there won’t be a world left to live in. Malus will destroy everything, including this village, if we don’t stop It.”
But then Merlin shakes his head, pulling away from his touch, and Arthur watches helplessly as tears fall down Merlin’s face.
“But why does it have to be us, Arthur? Why can’t it be someone else? After everything you’ve done, after everything I’ve done for this world…I deserve to be selfish.”
Arthur feels tears rising in his own eyes, but he holds them back for Merlin’s sake.
“I know you do, Merlin. It’s not fair. Believe me, I know. But we have to accept it. It has to be us. You and me. We can do this, Merlin. Believe it. Believe in us.”
Arthur reaches over and grabs Merlin’s hands, holding them tightly in his own. Merlin tries to pull away again, but Arthur refuses to let go.
“We will face this evil, and we will defeat it. I know we can win. Because we have something to fight for. This village. Our future. Merlin….”
Arthur lets go of Merlin’s hands and grasps his face. He wipes away the tears he finds there, kisses the tracks they’ve left behind. When he finally kisses Merlin, he pours all the love and determination into the kiss that he can. Merlin has to know he believes in him, believes in them, or the future they both want so badly will never be theirs.
Finally, Merlin lets out a quiet sob and then kisses him back. He gasps out Arthur’s name, and Arthur kisses him harder, pushing him back against the bedding.
“Believe in this, Merlin,” Arthur gasps, kissing Merlin’s collarbone. “Believe in us.”
Merlin moans in response.
“Merlin,” Arthur whispers desperately. “I love you. I always have. Even when we were back in Camelot. I just couldn’t see it. I was scared. I was-”
“It’s all right,” Merlin whispers, nipping lightly at the spot behind Arthur’s ear that always drives him crazy. Arthur groans. “It’s all right, Arthur. I know. I never lost faith in you, Arthur. I’m not going to start now.” Then he kisses Arthur again, and for the next ten minutes the only words they exchange are each other’s names. Whispered, moaned, grunted, praised. They lose themselves in each other, and when Arthur finally comes inside Merlin, he thinks that nothing, not even Malus, could ever tear them apart.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Afterward, Arthur lies in a quiet haze, slowly drifting off to sleep. He wakes at the feel of Merlin stroking the handprint on his chest.
“Arthur…when this is over….” Merlin pauses, then places his hand over the mark, mirroring the image that his magic has left behind. “I’m done with magic.”
Arthur frowns. That wasn’t what he was expecting to hear. He places his hand on top of Merlin’s. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m done, Arthur. I’ve had enough of magic. When we’ve destroyed Malus, I want to settle down. Just you and me. Somewhere quiet, just the two of us. Maybe start a farm, build our own place. But I want to live without magic.”
“Why are you saying this, Merlin? Is it about what you did to me? I’ve told you a million times to forget about it. I don’t regret what happened. If I hadn’t done it-”
“It’s not just about that, Arthur. I promise it’s not. I like showing the children magic, and I like using it to help people. It’s just that…I feel old, Arthur. Two thousand years is a long time, and I’m just…I’m tired. I’m tired of using magic to solve the world’s problems. I’m tired of being Emrys. After all this time, I just want to be…I just want to be Merlin.”
Arthur smiles. “I like the magic, Merlin.” Merlin frowns at him in disbelief and Arthur laughs. “It’s true. I like watching you make the flowers grow, making those little balls of light, and those blue butterflies. But it’s not just the magic I like to see. I like how it makes you smile. I like how happy it seems to make you. How you enjoy showing it off to me.”
“I don’t enjoy-”
“Yes you do, Merlin,” Arthur says with a laugh. “You like showing it to me. You like that I know about it now. That I’ve accepted it.”
Merlin grins. “You know me too well, dollophead.”
Arthur rolls his eyes. “The point is, Merlin…if magic ever stops making you happy…then I don’t want you to use it. It only makes me happy because it makes you happy. If you want to stop using magic when this is over, Merlin, I won’t argue.”
Merlin smiles warmly, and he leans down and kisses him gently. When he pulls away, he whispers, “Thank you, Arthur.”
They lie quietly for a few minutes, and just when Arthur thinks that Merlin’s finally fallen asleep, he breaks the silence.
“Arthur…I’ve been thinking.”
“That’s never good.”
“I’m serious,” Merlin responds, swatting him playfully on the chest.
“I’m sorry,” Arthur chuckles. “Go on.”
“I’ve been thinking…watching the way you interact with the villagers. Maybe fighting Malus isn’t the only reason you’re back.”
“What do you mean?” Arthur asks, but he’s pretty sure he already knows the answer. It’s something he’s wanted to discuss with Merlin, but with all the talk about settling down alone after defeating Malus, he hadn’t wanted to bring it up.
“You want to help this village, Arthur. You want to lead these people. You want to rebuild. And not just here. You want to help the country. Join the villages together. Help the world start over.”
“Merlin.” Arthur says his name in disbelief. “How do you know all of that? I haven’t-”
“You don't need to say anything, Arthur. It’s written all over your face every day. It’s obvious in everything you do. Being a king, being a leader, it’s in your blood, Arthur. It’s what makes you you. I know you better than I’ve ever known anyone, better than I know myself, and I’ve had to live with me for two thousand years.”
“Yeah, I’m not sure even I could put up with you for that long.”
“My point, Arthur, is that I know you want to help the world. And I want to help you with that. I do. But I also want….”
Arthur shifts on the bed so he’s facing Merlin. “You’re right, Merlin. I want to try and fix things. The world’s just so…broken right now. And I want to try and set it right. But I also want to be with you. Settle down somewhere. Start that farm you were talking about.”
“Well...why can’t we have both?” Merlin asks hopefully.
Arthur smiles. “My thoughts exactly. I’ll do what I can for this village, and the villages around it. And then we’ll build that farm, Merlin. We can have both. We deserve to have both. I want you to be happy.”
“And I want the same for you,” Merlin replies quietly.
“So it’s a promise, then. We’ll rebuild the world…and then we’ll build our own world.”
Merlin leans over and kisses him firmly, and Arthur kisses him back.
“It’s a promise,” Merlin agrees.
…tbc…