As the World Comes to an End, Chapter Five
I haven't updated this story in almost a year. I don't know what happened, and I can't apologize enough for leaving this story hanging for so long. I'm really sorry.
The good news is I've started writing again and I'm almost done with it. I've finally gotten my muse back. I can promise that I WILL finish this story. I hope you guys can forgive me for taking so long to update this.
As the World Comes to an End
Author: JALover7 (alanna_the_lionheart)
Rating: M
Spoilers: series finale, 5.13
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur
Genres: angst, hurt/comfort, romance, future-fic, reincarnation, post-apocalypse (sort of)
Summary: Sequel to “Full of Grace.” Arthur comes back from Avalon to find that he has been gone for nearly two thousand years. In a world torn apart by war, life has become simple again, yet Arthur finds himself homesick for a time that no longer exists. As Merlin and Arthur help each other cope, an ancient power rises in the Earth, threatening to destroy not only their new found happiness, but the world itself. Work in progress.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Merlin.
As the World Comes to an End
Chapter Five: The Coming Storm
Arthur begins to realize that something’s wrong when Merlin starts shivering. It’s dark out, but it’s still early afternoon, and the breeze is humid and warm. Arthur finds himself taking off his outer jacket, even as Merlin takes an extra sweater out of his bag and puts it on.
The shivers subside for about an hour. But then Merlin heads into the woods to find lunch, and when he comes out twenty minutes later dragging three rabbits behind him, he’s shivering again.
Arthur starts a fire and begins cooking the rabbits, and Merlin only shivers more.
“Come closer to the fire,” Arthur pleads, and Merlin scoots closer.
The shivering doesn’t stop.
Arthur offers Merlin a bit of rabbit and vegetables, but Merlin shakes his head.
“I’m not hungry,” he says quietly.
Arthur chews thoughtfully on his food, gazing at Merlin the whole time, and the food settles like a rock in his stomach.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As they continue on, the sky grows darker, and Merlin breaks into a sweat.
Arthur finds that they have to rest more often. They stop beside a lake, and Arthur fills their water bottles and tries to get Merlin to drink some. But Merlin just shakes his head and turns away.
“Merlin, you have to drink.”
Merlin doesn’t answer.
“Merlin, please,” Arthur finally begs, and Merlin turns to him reluctantly and takes the bottle, drinking a few sips before handing it back to him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next day, Merlin only gets worse. He grows quiet. He continues to shiver, face pale and sweaty, and when Arthur reaches out a hand to feel his forehead, he’s upset to find that Merlin’s burning with fever.
They stop at a few villages they pass along the way, but they're all small and have very little in terms of medicine.
One villageman claims to have medicine, but says that they have nothing he'd be willing to trade it for. Arthur's ready to fight him for it, to do whatever is necessary, but Merlin calms him down and urges them forward.
Another villagewoman offers to trade them an herbal fever remedy in exchange for their last rabbit. Arthur is skeptical, but desperate, and agrees. He allows himself a glimmer of hope when Merlin's fever eases that night, then feels his heart break as he wakes the next morning as bad off as the day before
They travel slower, stopping more often as Merlin doesn’t have the energy to keep moving. He eats and drinks only when Arthur begs him to; when Arthur tells him that he needs to keep up his strength to fight whatever’s wrong with him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s their sixth night after leaving Camelot. Arthur lies down behind Merlin, wraps his arms tightly around him, and asks him if he can heal himself with magic. After a few whispered spells, Merlin shakes his head.
“I can’t. Arthur…I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
He sounds so small and scared, and Arthur’s heart aches for him. He pulls Merlin closer as he begins to shake: the use of magic only succeeded in weakening him more.
“How much longer, Merlin?”
“Two days. Three at the most.”
Arthur considers what he has just asked, and for one terrified moment he’s afraid Merlin’s just told him how much longer he thinks he has left.
“Three days until we get to Windermere, right?” Arthur checks.
Merlin pauses, as though he’s only now considering the implication of what he said. But in the end, he nods in agreement.
Arthur sighs in relief. Then he hugs Merlin tightly and presses a kiss into his hair.
“It’s going to be all right, Merlin. We’ll be there soon.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Traveling the next day is torture. The sky remains dark, clouds still threatening a storm that has yet to come.
Merlin grows listless, forgetful. They stop for breaks more and more often.
They don't pass anymore villages, but then Arthur knows they won't be able to help him anyway.
When Arthur wakes Merlin from a short nap that afternoon, telling him gently that they need to keep moving, Merlin doesn’t know where they are. It takes him a few minutes to find the right direction again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That night, things only get worse.
Merlin begins to toss and turn in his sleep, and Arthur wakes to find the ground shaking beneath them. Thunder rumbles in the distance, and rain finally starts to fall.
“Merlin!”
Arthur sits up and tries to shake Merlin awake, but he won’t respond. The rain begins to fall harder, and a flash of lightning briefly brightens the sky.
“Merlin, wake up! Wake up!”
He shakes him harder, desperate now, as the thunder rumbles closer.
“MERLIN!”
Finally, Merlin bolts upright, and when his eyes open Arthur sees gold, and he feels a jolt pass through him: strong, but not painful.
“Arthur?” Merlin looks at him, eyes fading back to blue, and the rain lets up slightly. He’s shaking uncontrollably, and Arthur pulls him close, rubbing his arms firmly, willing him to calm down.
“Merlin…what’s going on?” Arthur asks, and he can’t keep his voice from shaking.
“I was…I was having a nightmare,” Merlin whispers, shivering harder.
“Well, it’s over now. You’re all right. I’m here. You’re safe now.”
Merlin nods, and the thunder stops rumbling. As he continues to quake in Arthur’s arms, the rain slows, then eventually stops. The sky remains dark, like it has been for four days, but at least the storm is past.
And that’s when Arthur realizes they’re in trouble.
It’s just like before, when Malus first spoke through Merlin.
“You’re safe,” Arthur repeats, even though he knows it’s a lie.
Then Merlin finally stops shaking, and he falls asleep wrapped up in Arthur’s arms.
“Please, no,” Arthur whispers, even though he knows it’s no use.
It’s Arthur’s worst fear, coming to life.
Merlin is losing control of his magic.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two days later, Merlin can barely stand, and Arthur hasn’t seen the sun in so long he can barely keep track of what time of day it is. Merlin shivers uncontrollably, no matter how many layers he wears.
On their ninth night after leaving Camelot, Merlin collapses against a tree and can’t get up. As rain begins to pour and thunder rumbles off in the distance, Arthur wraps his arms around Merlin from behind and holds on tight. He can feel the heat radiating off of Merlin’s body despite the layers, and the rain, and the fact that he continues to shiver. Arthur holds him until he falls asleep; holds him until Merlin wakes with a scream. Lightning strikes a tree ten feet from where they sit, and Arthur squeezes him tightly, terrified of staying, yet just as terrified of letting go.
“Arthur…I….” Merlin hasn’t spoken in almost two days - has done nothing but nod, or shake his head, or moan - and his voice sounds tired and broken and Arthur can’t stand it. He wishes there was something he could do to help him, but he just doesn’t know what. If Merlin can’t heal himself with his magic, then what can Arthur possibly do for him?
“I’ve got you,” Arthur says reassuringly, and Merlin shudders in his grasp, moaning.
“Arthur…I’m…I’m not going to make it.”
Arthur’s heart falls into his stomach.
“Don’t be so dramatic, Merlin. You’re going to get there just fine.” He puts as much force into the words as he can, as if by simply saying them he can make them true.
“I’m not…Arthur…you need to leave me. I can’t…I can’t control it. My magic, it…please, Arthur. You need to go.”
Arthur chokes down a sob that escapes his throat without permission, and he shakes his head.
“No, Merlin. No. It’s going to be okay. Go back to sleep. We’re almost there.”
He kisses the top of Merlin’s head, and Merlin sighs. And then, miraculously, Merlin’s shivers start to abate. He’s still shaking, but not nearly as badly as he was before. Curious, Arthur puts his hand on Merlin’s chest, pulls him as close as he can, and kisses him on the cheek. Merlin sighs again as he leans into it, and Arthur feels some of the heat leave Merlin’s face. The thunder rumbles less frequently and the rain begins to calm. Arthur can’t believe it, and he leans down and kisses the side of Merlin’s mouth. Merlin leans into the kiss, moving their lips together as he kisses him back. When he pulls away, Merlin falls limp in his arms and his breathing evens out as the rain stops and he finally falls asleep.
Arthur laughs, and it comes out almost hysterical. He rests his head on top of Merlin’s, and that’s when he realizes how tired he is. He hugs Merlin gratefully as sleep overtakes him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Arthur wakes the next morning, the sun is out. Gray clouds are scattered across the sky, but the sun is bright, trying its best to dispel the gloom.
Arthur smiles for the first time in days.
“Merlin. Merlin, wake up. The sun is shining.” Arthur shakes him gently, and Merlin shifts slowly. When he opens his eyes, Arthur sees a clarity in them he hasn’t seen in a long time.
“So it is,” Merlin sighs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arthur gets Merlin to eat a bit of food and drink some water, and as Merlin eats, Arthur begins to put the pieces together.
Somehow, he had helped Merlin heal last night. Touching him, kissing him…somehow, Merlin had taken strength from him. It explained why Arthur had felt so tired after Merlin fell asleep: Merlin had used Arthur to heal himself.
What if he could help Merlin? What if he could get Merlin to use his strength to heal himself? Just enough to get them to the seer’s village?
“Merlin?”
Merlin looks up from the apple he’s eating.
And then he realizes that Merlin would never agree to that. Merlin would never hurt him to save himself, no matter how much Arthur begged.
“Nevermind.”
Merlin seems better now, anyway, and Arthur thinks that maybe they’ll be lucky.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But by mid-afternoon, what little strength Merlin gained from Arthur is gone. The dark clouds envelop the sky as the inevitable storm rolls in. As the rain starts to fall again, Merlin collapses.
Arthur bends down, lifts him into a sitting position. He offers him water, but Merlin shakes his head and whimpers. Arthur rips the top off a bottle of water and holds it to Merlin’s lips.
“Please,” Arthur begs, and Merlin opens his mouth enough that Arthur tips the bottle back and pours it slowly down his throat. Merlin takes a few gulps before turning his head away.
The all too familiar thunder rumbles closer.
“C’mon, Merlin. We need to go.” He puts his hands under Merlin’s arms and heaves him to his feet. Merlin stands for a second before his legs crumble beneath him.
“Dammit,” Arthur curses. He bends down next to Merlin. “Which direction, Merlin? Are we almost there?”
Merlin looks up at him, but his eyes won’t focus.
“Look at me. Merlin, look at me.” He grabs Merlin’s face between his hands, and he feels a gentle pull in his body. He gasps as he feels his own energy flow up from his chest, through his arms and into Merlin’s body. When Merlin finally blinks and says his name, Arthur forces himself to let go.
“The river,” Merlin whispers, so quiet Arthur can barely hear him over the thunder, and he points to their right. “Follow the river. Upstream. It’s not…far. Soon. Arthur-”
“Perfect,” Arthur gasps, forcing back the wave of nausea that overtook him when he pulled away from Merlin. “Let’s go.”
And he kneels in front of Merlin and puts his arms behind his back. Merlin understands, and he wraps his arms around Arthur’s neck, his legs around Arthur’s hips, and Arthur grabs onto Merlin’s legs and stands.
He carries Merlin on his back and follows the river.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three hours later, Merlin begins to convulse, and Arthur can’t hold him anymore. His legs give out from under him and they collapse to the ground. Rain pours from the sky, the wind howls, and Arthur starts to panic as Merlin thrashes against him.
“Merlin!”
Arthur kneels over him, grabs his shoulders, but he can barely hold onto him.
“Merlin, please,” Arthur begs, and he manages to get one hand on Merlin’s shoulder and the other on his face. He strokes his cheek gently, and Merlin stops flailing enough for Arthur to kiss him. It’s a fierce, desperate kiss, and Arthur sighs in relief when Merlin stops thrashing and lets himself kiss Arthur back.
“That’s it. That’s it, Merlin,” Arthur gasps as he pulls away for air. “I’m going to help you.” He kisses Merlin again, and Merlin kisses him back desperately. Arthur feels the gentle pull again, and when his knees give out, Merlin reaches out an arm to catch him, then pulls away with a cry.
“No! Arthur, I can’t do this.”
There’s panic in Merlin’s eyes now, fear about what he’s done, about what he can do, but Arthur doesn’t care.
“It’s all right, Merlin. Let me help you.” He reaches his other hand up and cradles Merlin’s face, but Merlin grabs his arms and wrenches them away with a scream.
“No! I’m not going to hurt you, Arthur. I won’t do it.”
“Merlin…please,” Arthur begs, and he feels tears fall down his cheeks to mingle with the rain.
“Arthur, no!” Merlin insists with a shake of his head. But he’s still too weak, and Arthur wrenches his hands from Merlin’s grasp, grabs his face, and kisses him again. Merlin struggles, and Arthur feels terrible, but he has to do something, he can’t let Merlin die.
And then Merlin can’t help himself, and he kisses Arthur back hungrily. Arthur feels his energy drain slowly from his body, and he won’t pull away, couldn’t even if he wanted to. Merlin bites his lip and Arthur groans. Merlin jerks himself away at the sound. But Merlin doesn’t let go of him, and Arthur can tell it’s taking every ounce of Merlin’s will to stay away from him; can tell by the way Merlin’s clawing at him, trying to pull him closer even as he pushes him away.
“Don’t do this. Arthur. Please.”
Arthur pants heavily as the world spins. The storm rages around them still, Arthur knows it, but he has eyes for only one thing.
He gathers up what energy he has left and shakes his head.
“I’m sorry, Merlin. I can’t lose you.”
And then he’s kissing him again, and Merlin doesn’t even try to stop him this time. Arthur feels the energy drain out of him faster as Merlin gets greedy.
Arthur gasps as he starts to fall to the ground, but then Merlin catches him.
“Arthur?”
Arthur looks at him, and somehow he knows what he has to do. He grabs Merlin’s wrist, lifts up his own shirt, and places Merlin’s hand over his heart.
“No, Arthur. I can’t.”
Arthur presses Merlin’s hand closer to him.
“It’s okay, Merlin. It’s going to be okay.”
Merlin shakes his head, tears pouring down his face.
“Do it, Merlin. For me. Please.”
And that’s all it takes. Merlin’s eyes glow gold, the thunder rumbles harder, the lightning strikes closer. Arthur feels his energy pour into Merlin, and he smiles gratefully.
Arthur’s hand falls away from Merlin’s, and he feels himself fall forward. As his vision blacks out, he knows Merlin grabs his shoulders, but he can’t really feel it. In the back of his mind, he hears Merlin scream.
“Arthur! Oh god, what have I done? I’m so sorry, Arthur! I’m sorry! Please.”
And then the darkness takes him.
…tbc…
The good news is I've started writing again and I'm almost done with it. I've finally gotten my muse back. I can promise that I WILL finish this story. I hope you guys can forgive me for taking so long to update this.
As the World Comes to an End
Author: JALover7 (alanna_the_lionheart)
Rating: M
Spoilers: series finale, 5.13
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur
Genres: angst, hurt/comfort, romance, future-fic, reincarnation, post-apocalypse (sort of)
Summary: Sequel to “Full of Grace.” Arthur comes back from Avalon to find that he has been gone for nearly two thousand years. In a world torn apart by war, life has become simple again, yet Arthur finds himself homesick for a time that no longer exists. As Merlin and Arthur help each other cope, an ancient power rises in the Earth, threatening to destroy not only their new found happiness, but the world itself. Work in progress.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Merlin.
As the World Comes to an End
Chapter Five: The Coming Storm
Arthur begins to realize that something’s wrong when Merlin starts shivering. It’s dark out, but it’s still early afternoon, and the breeze is humid and warm. Arthur finds himself taking off his outer jacket, even as Merlin takes an extra sweater out of his bag and puts it on.
The shivers subside for about an hour. But then Merlin heads into the woods to find lunch, and when he comes out twenty minutes later dragging three rabbits behind him, he’s shivering again.
Arthur starts a fire and begins cooking the rabbits, and Merlin only shivers more.
“Come closer to the fire,” Arthur pleads, and Merlin scoots closer.
The shivering doesn’t stop.
Arthur offers Merlin a bit of rabbit and vegetables, but Merlin shakes his head.
“I’m not hungry,” he says quietly.
Arthur chews thoughtfully on his food, gazing at Merlin the whole time, and the food settles like a rock in his stomach.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As they continue on, the sky grows darker, and Merlin breaks into a sweat.
Arthur finds that they have to rest more often. They stop beside a lake, and Arthur fills their water bottles and tries to get Merlin to drink some. But Merlin just shakes his head and turns away.
“Merlin, you have to drink.”
Merlin doesn’t answer.
“Merlin, please,” Arthur finally begs, and Merlin turns to him reluctantly and takes the bottle, drinking a few sips before handing it back to him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next day, Merlin only gets worse. He grows quiet. He continues to shiver, face pale and sweaty, and when Arthur reaches out a hand to feel his forehead, he’s upset to find that Merlin’s burning with fever.
They stop at a few villages they pass along the way, but they're all small and have very little in terms of medicine.
One villageman claims to have medicine, but says that they have nothing he'd be willing to trade it for. Arthur's ready to fight him for it, to do whatever is necessary, but Merlin calms him down and urges them forward.
Another villagewoman offers to trade them an herbal fever remedy in exchange for their last rabbit. Arthur is skeptical, but desperate, and agrees. He allows himself a glimmer of hope when Merlin's fever eases that night, then feels his heart break as he wakes the next morning as bad off as the day before
They travel slower, stopping more often as Merlin doesn’t have the energy to keep moving. He eats and drinks only when Arthur begs him to; when Arthur tells him that he needs to keep up his strength to fight whatever’s wrong with him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s their sixth night after leaving Camelot. Arthur lies down behind Merlin, wraps his arms tightly around him, and asks him if he can heal himself with magic. After a few whispered spells, Merlin shakes his head.
“I can’t. Arthur…I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
He sounds so small and scared, and Arthur’s heart aches for him. He pulls Merlin closer as he begins to shake: the use of magic only succeeded in weakening him more.
“How much longer, Merlin?”
“Two days. Three at the most.”
Arthur considers what he has just asked, and for one terrified moment he’s afraid Merlin’s just told him how much longer he thinks he has left.
“Three days until we get to Windermere, right?” Arthur checks.
Merlin pauses, as though he’s only now considering the implication of what he said. But in the end, he nods in agreement.
Arthur sighs in relief. Then he hugs Merlin tightly and presses a kiss into his hair.
“It’s going to be all right, Merlin. We’ll be there soon.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Traveling the next day is torture. The sky remains dark, clouds still threatening a storm that has yet to come.
Merlin grows listless, forgetful. They stop for breaks more and more often.
They don't pass anymore villages, but then Arthur knows they won't be able to help him anyway.
When Arthur wakes Merlin from a short nap that afternoon, telling him gently that they need to keep moving, Merlin doesn’t know where they are. It takes him a few minutes to find the right direction again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That night, things only get worse.
Merlin begins to toss and turn in his sleep, and Arthur wakes to find the ground shaking beneath them. Thunder rumbles in the distance, and rain finally starts to fall.
“Merlin!”
Arthur sits up and tries to shake Merlin awake, but he won’t respond. The rain begins to fall harder, and a flash of lightning briefly brightens the sky.
“Merlin, wake up! Wake up!”
He shakes him harder, desperate now, as the thunder rumbles closer.
“MERLIN!”
Finally, Merlin bolts upright, and when his eyes open Arthur sees gold, and he feels a jolt pass through him: strong, but not painful.
“Arthur?” Merlin looks at him, eyes fading back to blue, and the rain lets up slightly. He’s shaking uncontrollably, and Arthur pulls him close, rubbing his arms firmly, willing him to calm down.
“Merlin…what’s going on?” Arthur asks, and he can’t keep his voice from shaking.
“I was…I was having a nightmare,” Merlin whispers, shivering harder.
“Well, it’s over now. You’re all right. I’m here. You’re safe now.”
Merlin nods, and the thunder stops rumbling. As he continues to quake in Arthur’s arms, the rain slows, then eventually stops. The sky remains dark, like it has been for four days, but at least the storm is past.
And that’s when Arthur realizes they’re in trouble.
It’s just like before, when Malus first spoke through Merlin.
“You’re safe,” Arthur repeats, even though he knows it’s a lie.
Then Merlin finally stops shaking, and he falls asleep wrapped up in Arthur’s arms.
“Please, no,” Arthur whispers, even though he knows it’s no use.
It’s Arthur’s worst fear, coming to life.
Merlin is losing control of his magic.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two days later, Merlin can barely stand, and Arthur hasn’t seen the sun in so long he can barely keep track of what time of day it is. Merlin shivers uncontrollably, no matter how many layers he wears.
On their ninth night after leaving Camelot, Merlin collapses against a tree and can’t get up. As rain begins to pour and thunder rumbles off in the distance, Arthur wraps his arms around Merlin from behind and holds on tight. He can feel the heat radiating off of Merlin’s body despite the layers, and the rain, and the fact that he continues to shiver. Arthur holds him until he falls asleep; holds him until Merlin wakes with a scream. Lightning strikes a tree ten feet from where they sit, and Arthur squeezes him tightly, terrified of staying, yet just as terrified of letting go.
“Arthur…I….” Merlin hasn’t spoken in almost two days - has done nothing but nod, or shake his head, or moan - and his voice sounds tired and broken and Arthur can’t stand it. He wishes there was something he could do to help him, but he just doesn’t know what. If Merlin can’t heal himself with his magic, then what can Arthur possibly do for him?
“I’ve got you,” Arthur says reassuringly, and Merlin shudders in his grasp, moaning.
“Arthur…I’m…I’m not going to make it.”
Arthur’s heart falls into his stomach.
“Don’t be so dramatic, Merlin. You’re going to get there just fine.” He puts as much force into the words as he can, as if by simply saying them he can make them true.
“I’m not…Arthur…you need to leave me. I can’t…I can’t control it. My magic, it…please, Arthur. You need to go.”
Arthur chokes down a sob that escapes his throat without permission, and he shakes his head.
“No, Merlin. No. It’s going to be okay. Go back to sleep. We’re almost there.”
He kisses the top of Merlin’s head, and Merlin sighs. And then, miraculously, Merlin’s shivers start to abate. He’s still shaking, but not nearly as badly as he was before. Curious, Arthur puts his hand on Merlin’s chest, pulls him as close as he can, and kisses him on the cheek. Merlin sighs again as he leans into it, and Arthur feels some of the heat leave Merlin’s face. The thunder rumbles less frequently and the rain begins to calm. Arthur can’t believe it, and he leans down and kisses the side of Merlin’s mouth. Merlin leans into the kiss, moving their lips together as he kisses him back. When he pulls away, Merlin falls limp in his arms and his breathing evens out as the rain stops and he finally falls asleep.
Arthur laughs, and it comes out almost hysterical. He rests his head on top of Merlin’s, and that’s when he realizes how tired he is. He hugs Merlin gratefully as sleep overtakes him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Arthur wakes the next morning, the sun is out. Gray clouds are scattered across the sky, but the sun is bright, trying its best to dispel the gloom.
Arthur smiles for the first time in days.
“Merlin. Merlin, wake up. The sun is shining.” Arthur shakes him gently, and Merlin shifts slowly. When he opens his eyes, Arthur sees a clarity in them he hasn’t seen in a long time.
“So it is,” Merlin sighs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arthur gets Merlin to eat a bit of food and drink some water, and as Merlin eats, Arthur begins to put the pieces together.
Somehow, he had helped Merlin heal last night. Touching him, kissing him…somehow, Merlin had taken strength from him. It explained why Arthur had felt so tired after Merlin fell asleep: Merlin had used Arthur to heal himself.
What if he could help Merlin? What if he could get Merlin to use his strength to heal himself? Just enough to get them to the seer’s village?
“Merlin?”
Merlin looks up from the apple he’s eating.
And then he realizes that Merlin would never agree to that. Merlin would never hurt him to save himself, no matter how much Arthur begged.
“Nevermind.”
Merlin seems better now, anyway, and Arthur thinks that maybe they’ll be lucky.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But by mid-afternoon, what little strength Merlin gained from Arthur is gone. The dark clouds envelop the sky as the inevitable storm rolls in. As the rain starts to fall again, Merlin collapses.
Arthur bends down, lifts him into a sitting position. He offers him water, but Merlin shakes his head and whimpers. Arthur rips the top off a bottle of water and holds it to Merlin’s lips.
“Please,” Arthur begs, and Merlin opens his mouth enough that Arthur tips the bottle back and pours it slowly down his throat. Merlin takes a few gulps before turning his head away.
The all too familiar thunder rumbles closer.
“C’mon, Merlin. We need to go.” He puts his hands under Merlin’s arms and heaves him to his feet. Merlin stands for a second before his legs crumble beneath him.
“Dammit,” Arthur curses. He bends down next to Merlin. “Which direction, Merlin? Are we almost there?”
Merlin looks up at him, but his eyes won’t focus.
“Look at me. Merlin, look at me.” He grabs Merlin’s face between his hands, and he feels a gentle pull in his body. He gasps as he feels his own energy flow up from his chest, through his arms and into Merlin’s body. When Merlin finally blinks and says his name, Arthur forces himself to let go.
“The river,” Merlin whispers, so quiet Arthur can barely hear him over the thunder, and he points to their right. “Follow the river. Upstream. It’s not…far. Soon. Arthur-”
“Perfect,” Arthur gasps, forcing back the wave of nausea that overtook him when he pulled away from Merlin. “Let’s go.”
And he kneels in front of Merlin and puts his arms behind his back. Merlin understands, and he wraps his arms around Arthur’s neck, his legs around Arthur’s hips, and Arthur grabs onto Merlin’s legs and stands.
He carries Merlin on his back and follows the river.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three hours later, Merlin begins to convulse, and Arthur can’t hold him anymore. His legs give out from under him and they collapse to the ground. Rain pours from the sky, the wind howls, and Arthur starts to panic as Merlin thrashes against him.
“Merlin!”
Arthur kneels over him, grabs his shoulders, but he can barely hold onto him.
“Merlin, please,” Arthur begs, and he manages to get one hand on Merlin’s shoulder and the other on his face. He strokes his cheek gently, and Merlin stops flailing enough for Arthur to kiss him. It’s a fierce, desperate kiss, and Arthur sighs in relief when Merlin stops thrashing and lets himself kiss Arthur back.
“That’s it. That’s it, Merlin,” Arthur gasps as he pulls away for air. “I’m going to help you.” He kisses Merlin again, and Merlin kisses him back desperately. Arthur feels the gentle pull again, and when his knees give out, Merlin reaches out an arm to catch him, then pulls away with a cry.
“No! Arthur, I can’t do this.”
There’s panic in Merlin’s eyes now, fear about what he’s done, about what he can do, but Arthur doesn’t care.
“It’s all right, Merlin. Let me help you.” He reaches his other hand up and cradles Merlin’s face, but Merlin grabs his arms and wrenches them away with a scream.
“No! I’m not going to hurt you, Arthur. I won’t do it.”
“Merlin…please,” Arthur begs, and he feels tears fall down his cheeks to mingle with the rain.
“Arthur, no!” Merlin insists with a shake of his head. But he’s still too weak, and Arthur wrenches his hands from Merlin’s grasp, grabs his face, and kisses him again. Merlin struggles, and Arthur feels terrible, but he has to do something, he can’t let Merlin die.
And then Merlin can’t help himself, and he kisses Arthur back hungrily. Arthur feels his energy drain slowly from his body, and he won’t pull away, couldn’t even if he wanted to. Merlin bites his lip and Arthur groans. Merlin jerks himself away at the sound. But Merlin doesn’t let go of him, and Arthur can tell it’s taking every ounce of Merlin’s will to stay away from him; can tell by the way Merlin’s clawing at him, trying to pull him closer even as he pushes him away.
“Don’t do this. Arthur. Please.”
Arthur pants heavily as the world spins. The storm rages around them still, Arthur knows it, but he has eyes for only one thing.
He gathers up what energy he has left and shakes his head.
“I’m sorry, Merlin. I can’t lose you.”
And then he’s kissing him again, and Merlin doesn’t even try to stop him this time. Arthur feels the energy drain out of him faster as Merlin gets greedy.
Arthur gasps as he starts to fall to the ground, but then Merlin catches him.
“Arthur?”
Arthur looks at him, and somehow he knows what he has to do. He grabs Merlin’s wrist, lifts up his own shirt, and places Merlin’s hand over his heart.
“No, Arthur. I can’t.”
Arthur presses Merlin’s hand closer to him.
“It’s okay, Merlin. It’s going to be okay.”
Merlin shakes his head, tears pouring down his face.
“Do it, Merlin. For me. Please.”
And that’s all it takes. Merlin’s eyes glow gold, the thunder rumbles harder, the lightning strikes closer. Arthur feels his energy pour into Merlin, and he smiles gratefully.
Arthur’s hand falls away from Merlin’s, and he feels himself fall forward. As his vision blacks out, he knows Merlin grabs his shoulders, but he can’t really feel it. In the back of his mind, he hears Merlin scream.
“Arthur! Oh god, what have I done? I’m so sorry, Arthur! I’m sorry! Please.”
And then the darkness takes him.
…tbc…