Adventures...
...in ballroom dance competition and the motorway vortex of Dooooom (TM) that is New Jersey.
...in a land known as the University of Maryland at College Park, jalenstrix set off with many other ballroom dancers to the Far Away Land of Garfield, New Jersey wherein a ballroom dance competition would take place. To get there, they had to travel the Ninja Troll Pike (though some had previously named it the New Jersey Turnpike). All was well and good to enter the seemingly innocuous state of New Jersey.
And then, they danced. And danced and danced and danced, until their feet were sore and their faces red and their chests crying for air. And for their efforts, jalenstrix and her partner Doug received high accolades in many dances (1st of many in Waltz/Tango/Foxtrot, 3rd of many in Cha Cha/Rumba/Swing, and 4th of very, very many in Waltz/Quickstep). And there was much rejoicing.
And then, they tried to leave New Jersey.
Oh, inexperienced travelers! A sad fate, indeed, for such as these. New Jersey scoffed at their puny hopes!
It began in trying to re-enter the Goblin Stench Parkway (occasionally known as the Garden State Parkway). A labyrinth of one-way streets did they wander, past signs and corners they had passed so many times before! And they knew what direction they had to go, but it seemed no roads would take them there.
But at last, by means of clever side roads, the city of Garfield was fooled and allowed the travelers access to the Goblin Stench Parkway. However, soon aware of the trickery, Garfield exhorted the Goblin Stench Parkway to exact revenge.
And so it did. Though it should have led easily to the Ninja Troll Pike, the Goblin Stench Parkway veered and twisted, obscuring all useful signs that might have pointed the way. And so the travelers blithely wandered past the entrance to the Ninja Troll Pike onto the express lanes of the Goblin Stench Parkway. Realizing their mistake almost instantaneously, the travelers sought to turn around.
And, oh, how the Goblin Stench Parkway laughed at them! For 30 miles, did it tantalizingly parade convenient exits across the median that divided the express from the local lanes. For 30 miles, did it taunt them with the knowledge that these exits were closed to them.
At last, the Goblin Stench Parkway seemed to relent, and offered an exit off the express lanes - and so, of course, the travelers took it in great relief.
Ah, poor travelers. For the Goblin Stench Parkway obscured the signs that spoke of East and West on the exit, and so the travelers took the wrong direction. And gas was running low. The travelers began a search for fuel, and again did the Goblin Stench Parkway tease and taunt with signs for gas stations that turned out to be closed for the night. (Obviously mirages - real gas stations ought never be closed!)
And so the travelers laughed with dark humor, and prayed they would not run out of gas in the cruel and harsh land of New Jersey.
Because the fates were kind (or perhaps it was the jalenstrix fairies), the travelers' prayers were answered. Gas was found and the Goblin Stench Parkway thwarted.
And at long, long last, the travelers victoriously escaped the foul and wretched land that is New Jersey.
...in a land known as the University of Maryland at College Park, jalenstrix set off with many other ballroom dancers to the Far Away Land of Garfield, New Jersey wherein a ballroom dance competition would take place. To get there, they had to travel the Ninja Troll Pike (though some had previously named it the New Jersey Turnpike). All was well and good to enter the seemingly innocuous state of New Jersey.
And then, they danced. And danced and danced and danced, until their feet were sore and their faces red and their chests crying for air. And for their efforts, jalenstrix and her partner Doug received high accolades in many dances (1st of many in Waltz/Tango/Foxtrot, 3rd of many in Cha Cha/Rumba/Swing, and 4th of very, very many in Waltz/Quickstep). And there was much rejoicing.
And then, they tried to leave New Jersey.
Oh, inexperienced travelers! A sad fate, indeed, for such as these. New Jersey scoffed at their puny hopes!
It began in trying to re-enter the Goblin Stench Parkway (occasionally known as the Garden State Parkway). A labyrinth of one-way streets did they wander, past signs and corners they had passed so many times before! And they knew what direction they had to go, but it seemed no roads would take them there.
But at last, by means of clever side roads, the city of Garfield was fooled and allowed the travelers access to the Goblin Stench Parkway. However, soon aware of the trickery, Garfield exhorted the Goblin Stench Parkway to exact revenge.
And so it did. Though it should have led easily to the Ninja Troll Pike, the Goblin Stench Parkway veered and twisted, obscuring all useful signs that might have pointed the way. And so the travelers blithely wandered past the entrance to the Ninja Troll Pike onto the express lanes of the Goblin Stench Parkway. Realizing their mistake almost instantaneously, the travelers sought to turn around.
And, oh, how the Goblin Stench Parkway laughed at them! For 30 miles, did it tantalizingly parade convenient exits across the median that divided the express from the local lanes. For 30 miles, did it taunt them with the knowledge that these exits were closed to them.
At last, the Goblin Stench Parkway seemed to relent, and offered an exit off the express lanes - and so, of course, the travelers took it in great relief.
Ah, poor travelers. For the Goblin Stench Parkway obscured the signs that spoke of East and West on the exit, and so the travelers took the wrong direction. And gas was running low. The travelers began a search for fuel, and again did the Goblin Stench Parkway tease and taunt with signs for gas stations that turned out to be closed for the night. (Obviously mirages - real gas stations ought never be closed!)
And so the travelers laughed with dark humor, and prayed they would not run out of gas in the cruel and harsh land of New Jersey.
Because the fates were kind (or perhaps it was the jalenstrix fairies), the travelers' prayers were answered. Gas was found and the Goblin Stench Parkway thwarted.
And at long, long last, the travelers victoriously escaped the foul and wretched land that is New Jersey.