The Headache
I awoke this morning with The Headache. No, not a headache... The Headache. This headache warrants the textual theatrics. This is not some sneaking pain behind the eyes, not some snivelling little "ouchie." This is an ur-headache. The Headache stalked the primordial swamps of dinosaurs' dreams, and when they awoke, eyes bloodshot and with a little vein at their temple throbbing, their first words were most likely [translated from dinosaur] "Holy shit, what did I drink last night?!"
Early men feared The Headache more than a pair of glimmering eyes at the back of a cave. Being hit with rock clubs was preferable.
The Headache has been around since the dawn of time - during the dark ages, the Black Death was seen as sweet release from The Headache. in modern days The Headache has camoflagued itself as small wars and minor earthquakes, waiting for the moment to next strike an individual. It took employment in the movies, where it convincingly caused mannikins' heads to explode for special effects companies. Watch any of the Scanner movies - you can see The Headache therein.
Last night as I lay with my head on the computer desk, periodically checking the virus scanner, and surfing the 'net frantically in search of more powerful tools with which to purge a keylogger from my system, The Headache was drawn to my frantic scrabbling, like a poisoned mouse in a cage. In the weakness caused by stress and too little sleep, it climb on my back like a monkey and wrapped its tendrils around my head - gently at first lest I shake it loose.
Then, when I finally went to bed, it started rooting, shooting, growing to a verdant red haze that blossomed at 6:00ish this morning, and has yet to go away.
The Headache laughs at Migraine medicine. It eats Ibuprofen for afternoon tea.
I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a new head today.
Early men feared The Headache more than a pair of glimmering eyes at the back of a cave. Being hit with rock clubs was preferable.
The Headache has been around since the dawn of time - during the dark ages, the Black Death was seen as sweet release from The Headache. in modern days The Headache has camoflagued itself as small wars and minor earthquakes, waiting for the moment to next strike an individual. It took employment in the movies, where it convincingly caused mannikins' heads to explode for special effects companies. Watch any of the Scanner movies - you can see The Headache therein.
Last night as I lay with my head on the computer desk, periodically checking the virus scanner, and surfing the 'net frantically in search of more powerful tools with which to purge a keylogger from my system, The Headache was drawn to my frantic scrabbling, like a poisoned mouse in a cage. In the weakness caused by stress and too little sleep, it climb on my back like a monkey and wrapped its tendrils around my head - gently at first lest I shake it loose.
Then, when I finally went to bed, it started rooting, shooting, growing to a verdant red haze that blossomed at 6:00ish this morning, and has yet to go away.
The Headache laughs at Migraine medicine. It eats Ibuprofen for afternoon tea.
I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a new head today.